Writing Checks
There are words swirling, fumbling around so fast they are tripping over themselves and crashing into the people I'm allowing to take up residence in the dark corners.
I need to kick those people out. I know this, but saying it is easier than doing it.
I've been trying to piece together a few of those words. They belong together and they should be BOLD and flashing and prominent.
Don't write checks that pay for your own misery.
I believe in the words, but they are flittering just out of my grasp. I can't seem to pull them close to my heart.
The people in the dark corners won't leave until I stop writing checks that pay for my own misery.
While I fumble trying to find my way out of the darkness, I struggle to focus. I struggle to write checks that pay for my own happiness. I need to grab her hand and walk outside and just sit. Just be.
I need to swim in her eyes and dive so deep that I'm only surrounded by the things that are right. The things that matter. The things that are happy.
I can't change The Now, but I can write the checks that pay for a better tomorrow.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Reader Comments (12)
Love you. Lots. Send me random texts if you need to.
Hmmmm... You are a mystery wrapped in an enigma, Michelle. Or maybe I'm just too tired to figure out what you're talking about since I was up until 2:30 last night...
Hope everything is okay. I always think the absolute worst when I read things like this. I'm glad you've got your girl by your side.
Hope everything is ok. Let me know if you need anything.
Thank you for the beautiful words. Believe it or not, it is exactly what I needed to hear today. I am in the middle of a problem in my life and the most difficult part is letting go of someone who is toxic to me. Your analogy of writing checks that lead to my own misery is perfect. Thanks for saying exactly what I needed to hear.
Whatever it is: We love you!
And whoever that is ... we better do not know his / hers address.
Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming... (You get Disney movie references, right?) Excellent advice. And even if you can't always remember it in the now, you're right - the point is that you keep trying. In the meantime....sit. be. run. laugh. Basically, just follow that pint-sized princess of yours. :)
All I can say is get a new checkbook all together, I hope you feell better on whatever is bothering you.
Thinking of you.
Timely suggestion - I'm currently reading The Pursuit of Happiness by Jennifer O'Neill on my Kindle (I got it free, right now it's $3). So far, I would recommend it. Very spiritual-type book without being preachy.
Keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.
:( Let's go out soon, okay? Girls night, or double date-style? Hope things are getting better.
i'll watch the kids if you wanna take allison up on her offer