Yep. Still My Favorite.
As Alexis reached for the door handle, time slowed down just enough for me to catch the litte WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE YEAH out of the corner of my eye. I knew what was about to happen.
"Hey, Alexis. Did you remember to grab your money?" I asked. She didn't really need to have her money with her to go to dance class, but I knew my words would stop her in her tracks. Her little hand pushed the doorknob down, paused, and then pulled away from the door without opening it.
*KA-BLAM*
A puddle of fur sprawled out on the floor. Max's face said, "I meant to do that," but everything else about his demeanor said, "WTH? I've done that a million times and it always works!"
Max's favorite way of sneaking out of the house is to wait for Alexis to approach the basement door. Just as she grabs the doorknob, he takes off at a full run and dashes through a narrow opening before Alexis can figure out that she's been played for a fool. That time, though, the door didn't open, so the cat splatted into the door.
And that's EXACTLY why he's my favorite.
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To be perfectly honest, Max is kind of a demanding little jerk. He'll follow you around launching himself at your legs if he wants picked up, forever leaving your pants with a fur stripe that makes it look like you're wearing orange and white Uggs. Max meows loudly when he wants you to pet him to the point that your ears begin to ring. He is willing to shove his way into pretty much any situation. In fact, during Alexis' birthday party, he risked life and limb by walking through a herd of obnoxious kids because he wanted to be in the family room and he didn't much care if there was anyone in his way.
His most ridiculous habit, however, is his nightly ritual. He insists on spooning with me every night when I go to bed. It's crazy adorabe that he wants to spoon, truly, but he thinks it needs to be done under the covers. He jumps onto my pillow as I climb into bed, and then sits on my head until I lift the blankets for him. He then quickly crawls into his spot, curls up in a ball, and falls asleep purring, but only after he has SAT ON MY HEAD. And if I don't lift the blankets for him, he'll keep sitting on my head, occasionally shoving a paw into my eye. He's all, "I know you're awake. What do you mean you're not? WAKE UP, BEYOTCH." One of these days, I'm pretty sure he's going to manage to get a claw stuck in my eyeball and he'll probably pluck it out and walk around with it, kind of like an eyeball shish kabob.
It's a good thing he's cute.
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Obviously, Max has no respect for boundaries. He thinks the entire house is his kingdom and he positively refuses to be banned from any spot in it. I have tried EVERYTHING to break him of getting on top of the kitchen counters. Wait. I take that back. I haven't tried breaking his neck to see if that will get him to stop, but I have tried EVERYTHING ELSE.
Water with vinegar in it? Pshaw. He laughs in the face of my water bottle.
Throwing a can filled with pennies at him? He thinks you're paying him his allowance.
Aluminum foal? LOOK! IT'S SO SHINY! I CAN SEE MYSELF!
If Max wants to be in a spot in the house, he will go there. That's all there is to it.
See?
I don't know why he thought it was a good idea to jump into a 4" by 6" hole, I just know that he did it. Then he stayed there long enough for me to grab the camera.
But not much longer than that.
And THAT is why he is my favorite cat. It's fun watching Karma slap him around.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Reader Comments (6)
I love cats with personality! We had one that for some unexplained reason actually scratched up my Mum's face in the middle of the night. So maybe you should lift those covers quickly. ;)
My personal favorite cat deterrent is . . . double sided packing tape ON tin foil. If nothing else, it is good for an awesome laugh.
That story makes me laugh out loud. We had a cat that used to do that. He would sit in the kitchen and act all nonchalant like he didn't see you walking to the backdoor. And he would start running at just the right time to slip out the door as soon as it opened. Until the time that my dad went to open the screen door, and fumbled it. And BAM. Fat Kitty met the door. I laughed so hard I cried.
yep, i need a little dog. cats, regardless of how amusing, just aren't me.
then again, maybe an aluminum baby horse is an option (if you don't get that, go read the LOOK IT IS SO SHINY section again and then come punch me in the throat for being an ass).
I think he's FireCat's brother, lost at birth.
FireCat spoons with me every night, but not always under the covers. When he does want under the covers, however, he tells me by taking his claws to pull back the covers from around my neck. Only thing is, sometimes he gets my shirt. Or my skin. And it hurts. And no matter how many times I launch him onto the floor for clawing my neck in the middle of the night, he always comes right back. And I lift up the covers so he can squeeze in.
We're such suckers, aren't we?
Max sounds like the coolest cat ever. Sounds like my cat, Mischa, when he was still young and spry. Except for the ear splitting howl for attention. Mischa still has that one down pat...