Yes, I'm Mean. It's True.
Mr. Husband turned to a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Alexis and asked, "What do you want to do today?" Their day together was wide open and the Little Miss had her choice of Disney parks to visit.
"I want to make a new friend!" she replied, showing that maybe, just maybe, she really does get what life is all about.
Little things like that make me think that we might just be doing something right. They also make me think it's OK if we do something very, very wrong. Maybe.
Later that evening, the three of us sat watching the cheese-tastic Country Bear Jamboree in the Magic Kingdom. Alexis sat perched in my lap so that she could see over the tall people in front of us, completely engrossed in the awful music and archaic animatronics. Because she hates me, her chubby fingers were entangled in my hair and she was doing that torturous lip-sucking thing that she does RIGHT next to my ear.
I blame the proximity of her face to my ear for what happened next. Well, that, and this guy:
Without even thinking about it, I whispered to Alexis, "If you don't stop sucking your lip, your teeth are going to end up looking like that bear's."
My statement initially was met with silence and then, "My teeth will look like that?" Sadness dripped from her words as she continued, "But my friends will make fun of me."
Ignoring the fact that I'm not ready for my kid to worry about what her friends think, I had a feeling I had FINALLY struck gold. For months and months I had tried to find a reason, bribe, excuse, threat, promise . . . anything . . . that would get Alexis to stop sucking on her lip. With a little bit of guilt in my heart but a whole lot of annoyance in my head, I repeated that sucking on her lip would make Alexis' teeth stick out like the bear's.
The kid started weeping openly, clearly distraught at the very idea. The little bit of guilt in my heart grew bigger, but it still didn't reach my brain. I kept pouring it on. And poured it on. And poured it on.
Off and on ever since that fateful moment, Alexis has caught herself sucking her lip, started to cry, and said that she doesn't want to look like that bear. I should probably feel bad for giving the poor kid a complex, but at least I taught her how to make friends, right? Friends who will make fun of her buck teeth, perhaps, but still. Just so long as she quits sucking her lip, it'll all work out. Or something.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Reader Comments (11)
I can be capable of much worse if forced to attend that show. Sorry, but if Disney can rip out the good rides from our youth, the least they could do is get rid of this horror.
Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do! :D
I feel bad for laughing at Alexis's complex over the whole thing, but OMG . . . that is the funniest thing EVER! Now if you could just figure out what to say to get her hands out of your hair . . .
sometimes though, we do what we have to do.
My daughter touches EVERYTHING... she's been in the ER on numerous occasions from touching things and getting bamboo slivers too deep in her skin for us to pull out, or cuts, etc... Just today, as we are walking at the market, she's rubbing her hand along this disgusting guard rail riddled with gum and nastiness. I was seriously sickened because:::
She always sticks her hands in her mouth.
And sure enough, she did.
And I gagged, threw up in my mouth a little and told her that one day she is going to die from the germs she contracts from touching something nasty.
her response?
She stuck her entire fist in her mouth, loomed at me with wide eyes and said "yummm."
SHE IS BEAUTIFUL TO ME IN EVERYWAY. SHE WILL OUTGROW THE SUCKING OF HER LIP. PROBABLY WON'T GIVE HER BUCK TEETH BECAUSE SHE IS GOING TO REMEMBER THAT BEAR EVERYTIME SHE GOES FOR HER LIP. SHE MAY NOT STOP RIGHT AWAY BUT SHE WILL DO IT LESS AND LESS. JUST THE THOUGHT OF THAT BEAR IN HER LITTLE MIND WILL BE ENOUGH TO REMIND HER. SHE MAY BE VERY SMART AND ADVANCED FOR HER AGE BUT SHE IS ONLY FOUR YEARS OLD. SHE IS STILL MY LITTLE ANGEL. HOPE YOU ARE ALL HAVING A GREAT TIME.
hah! love it :-) i'm mean too.
My husband still does that in his sleep. Please don't tell him I told you that. He'd kill me. And also? I think you nipped it in the bud, so to speak. Alexis is so pretty in that photo!
Sometimes you have to be tough or maybe even mean. Looks like you have been having a lot of fun.
Oh come on - it can't be any worse than telling her the birds would get her if she pulled on your arm one more time. :-)
Besides, all moms know that all you have to say to erase any negative impact from such a statement is: "But *I* will always love you because I'm your mom!" in your sweetest, syrupiest voice ever. True story.
Eh, so it's a little mean, but it works right? Ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do! My husband told our son if he didn't stop picking his nose his brain would leak out. Cruel? Yes...but the nose picking did subside.
Soooo....I JUST found your blog and I can tell you that I haven't laughed out loud reading a blog in a long time! Thanks! I totally have traumatized my (now six) year old daughter in the past, and know exactly how you felt!
Awesome blog, love the pics! I document everything with pictures...it's just who I am!
-Ginger