Yet
SWEET MOTHER OF A HORNLESS ONE-EYED BLUE UNICORN, I NEVER THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
And ... exhale.
Finally.
This child, she who takes perfectionism to all never before seen heights, has finally, FINALLY figured out this whole riding a bike without training wheels thing.
It only took her two years.
That's two years of being absolutely capable physically, but tripping over her own mental roadblocks every time she tried. For two years the kid has alternated between refusing to try, refusing to let anyone help her, yelling at everyone for not helping her, screaming bloody murder because she wanted to try but not right then or there or how, and did I mention that she didn't want help but you better help her because OMG.
Really.
The very fist time she seriously put her mind to trying, I fell into the trap. She screamed and yelled and demanded help/no help/go away/where are you, back and forth and on and on. I screamed back.
You know, I should know by now that never works. Sometimes I like to try anyway. Just in case. So I can feel really stupid afterwards.
ANYWAY.
The overall theme of the refusing to learn to just ride the freakin' bike has been "I can't." Alexis screamed, yelled, whispered, and sobbed through those words SO MANY TIMES.
Once it occurred to me that screaming back at her just made things worse, I started to reply to her "I can't" with one simple word -- YET.
Alexis would say, "I can't.
I would calmly say, "Yet. Repeat it. You can't YET."
And I would make her repeat it. Over and over and over to the point that I'm now quite certain that some day the kid will write a paper on all of the ways she hates the word "Yet." It's probably the word that ruined her childhood, but I don't care. I have no patience for when people hit the self-destruct button. "I can't" is an instantly annoying little phrase full of self-destruction, self-pity, and laziness.
You can't YET, people. Today might not be the day, but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be.
But today was the day. Today was the day that Alexis stopped feeling embarrassed about being the last human on earth to learn how to ride a bike (her words). Today was the day that Alexis stopped telling every adult in her life, "I don't like it when I need help." Today was the day that Alexis shut her trap, put her feet on those pedals, and then rode all around the block.
And now begins the phase when I tell her "You can't," as in "You can't just go riding your bike without telling me where you are going to be."
Yet.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Reader Comments (10)
I have been down this same exact road....only he was 9...yep NINE!! Congrats to Alexis on her big accomplishment! :)
Oh man. I wish you could have seen the progression of my facial expressions as I read this post. You might have done eye sprinklers again. You're lucky I love you.
Anyway, HOORAY ALEXIS! BB had the same mental road block when he finally got over himself at the beginning of summer, complete with the help/don't help drama. It was a good time! And yes, now we're at the, "No, you can't just go ride your bike without telling me" yet thing.
I do like your yet thing. It's smart. I'm also stealing that. Because you're the smartest person. Ever.
I thought that you were writing about Roozle at first. My kid that didn't stand up until she could walk across a room. My kid who just got her first no training wheel bike last week and screamed and cried through the whole thing.
But yes. Yet. For her. For me. For all of us.
Ben was the same way. He wouldn't let me help but he did let his friend from next door who is 1.5 years older help. This was only last summer that he started riding his bike without training wheels. Yes, now he is on his bike every night that it isn't downpouring. Yes they have gone out even when it is sprinkling.
Yay!
YAY Alexis!! What a great job! Now to ride circles around everyone!
Way to go Alexis!! (& this makes me feel better. Dan took Maggie's training wheels off about a month ago & refuses to put them back on & ooooh the dramaaaaa!!)
You just gave me a line I plan to use with my kids forever now "You can't YET, people. Today might not be the day, but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be." Oh yeah, baby. Perfection.
And Congrats, Alexis!!!
so proud of her!
says the 42 year old who can't ride a bike without losing a front tooth or breaking a wrist.
so, so happy for alexis!
also, YET rocks.