The Spray Foam Obsession Continues

I have a reputation to uphold. I mean, there's Frank.

And Matilda.

And Tony.

So OF COURSE I had to make a new thing this year. Time was short, though, because I decided to tear down a bunch of walls, paint some things, and generally the house has been under construction for two months. Thus, I decided it was time for an arch over the door.

A skull arch.

This was -so- easy to make. End to end it took maybe 4 hours total. I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing that PVC, spray foam, burlap, and spray paint can't do.

ANYWAY, basic instructions, ahoy!

You need 3/4" PVC cut to fit the space and elbows to make the turns, a crapton of skulls (most of them are $5 skulls from Target, although there is a good number of $2 ones from Five Below as well as some odds and ends I already had), spray foam, black burlap, and black spray paint. Oh, and a few strings of Halloween-colored lights, of course.

Start with this - cut the burlap into 4-6" wide strips. I used 20 strips per side.

Stab holes in the burlap every 6-10" apart. That's so you can wind the PVC back and forth through the burlap and create some volume/filler.There's no need to be careful while doing it, other than to make sure you keep all of your fingers.

Then it's time to prep some skulls.

Drill two holes.

Zip tie.

That's it.

Across the top I did one skull and then one piece of fabric. On the sides it was one skull and then two pieces of fabric. There are some extra arm and leg bones zip tied in between the side skulls just for funsies.

Here's how you do the burlap winding thing.

Once that was done, I wound some Halloween-colored lights around the whole thing.

From there, it's all about the spray foam. You set the whole contraption on top of some trash bags so you don't get a mess on your floor (the trash bags will peel off once the foam is dry). There's no art to the whole spray thing. You just shove the straw in the gaps between the skulls and fabric, spray a bit, and move on. It took two cans per side to fill things in and make them a bit sturdier. Once the foam is completely dry, flat black spray paint finishes things off quite nicely.

I mean, LOOK. Ignore the kids (for the moment) and LOOK!

It's lovely. And! And! I already have a plan for what I'm going to add next year.

LOLZ

Alexis has had a car for  ... two weeks? Something like that? In that time, I have learned three very important things:

1. Alexis hasn't paid attention to a single thing her entire life. That's the only explanation I have for why SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO GET ANYWHERE. As in, she needed directions to get to Target. How is that possible? Target has a cot in the corner ready for me at all times because I all but live there. It's been a pandemic or so since I've consistently drug Alexis with me to my second home, but still. She had 14 years of going there ALL THE TIME. How does she not know how to get to it? HOW?

(I realize the answer is that she is busy staring at her phone, but it still seems like the homing device I was born with that points me to Target at all times should be a genetic thing.)

2. So gas is expensive, apparently? Alexis is responsible for paying for her own gas, which has had an amazing impact on her perspective to so many things. For one, suddenly she doesn't need to run to ALL of the places. She's always been terrible about "can we make one more stop" and "I need this one thing right this second" and all of those types of chaos. She has also been the one to ask for the furthest possible mall, stores that only exist on the other side of town, and the like. All of that has gone POOF! and man, it's good.

3. Along the same lines, did you know that money is not unlimited? I knew that money is not unlimited. Apparently Alexis just figured that out? Dropping $50 at the gas pump has created a magical mystical understanding of the value of a dollar. It's gotten to the point that Alexis is now lecturing Mila about how expensive things are. As in, Mila wanted a stuffed Olaf when we went to Frozen at the Benedum last week, and Alexis would not shut up about the price tag. It was like listening to myself give a lecture.

All of that is to say, I should have bought Alexis a car sooner. It's making my life infinitely better.

The Surprise

It turns out that having a kid who is old enough to drive herself places is great, but the greatness is limited by her access to a car. And not my car.

Look, I definitely have moments of generosity and trust and all for the things it would take to let Alexis drive my car all over the place, but those moments tend to happen when we're not talking about Alexis driving my car. I love my car. I love it in one piece. As much as I really to trust Alexis, I don't trust her THAT much. I kinda don't want anyone ever being the wheel of my preshus. Besides, Mila usually needs to be places at most of the same times that Alexis needs to be places.

Basically, the kid needed her own car in order for us to all be happy.

And that is where things got complicated.

It is absolutely the worst time to try to find a cheap used car. It's also a terrible time to buy a new car, but there was no way I was going there. Which, have I ever mentioned that some of Alexis' friends drive brand new cars? One drives a brand new $80k BMW, even. I do not comprehend this phenomenom, especially right now when there are no good deals on cars.

ANYWAY. Alexis is not that lucky.

Nor does she mind. That child has had her heart set on one thing for about three years. A Mini Cooper. Don't ask why because I don't understand the allure, but Alexis has been obsessed with the barely-bigger-than-a-toy-car things for so long.  She has spent hours and hours researching Mini Coopers, building her dream car online, all of the things. Most annoyingly, she yells, "MINI COOPER!" every time she sees one in the wild, which has led to me nearly smooshing my SUV into the size of a Mini Cooper because it startles me all.the.time.

Given there are no great deals to be found, I started looking for an old Mini Cooper a while ago. I finally found one with relatively low miles and no major issues recently, which led to this most excellent moment. Oh, and caution! She swears! All of the swears!

Y'all, she had no clue. NO CLUE. In fact, one day before I parked a 2010 Mini Cooper in our driveway, Alexis went on a whole tirade about how she was going to have to wait until she's 40 and financially independent to get one.

Needless to say, Alexis is having the best week ever. And so am I because I haven't had to drive the kid anywhere this week.