I'm Sure We Could Have Fun With Belle's Name
Back in the Stone Ages (otherwise known as college) I worked at Walt Disney World. It was only for a semester, and it was part of something called the College Program. Disney trolls colleges and universities nationwide a few times a year in search of moron college students dumb enough to work crap jobs for barely more than minimum wage. In exchange for a lifetime of debt, the students get to attend classes at Disney University and, well, live at Disney World.
Part of the program includes an introduction to the inner workings of all of the parks, so during cast member orientation, they took us to the Magic Kingdom for a tour of the tunnels. If you didn't know, the castle and other parts of Disney World that you see when you visit are technically the second story of a very large building. Below "street" level is a series of concrete hallways knows as the tunnels.
The tunnels aren't very exciting. Literally, they're just concrete hallways with walls painted different colors so that you know which part of the park your currently under. The idea is that someone who works in Frontierland shouldn't be seen in full costume walking around in Tomorrowland, so there are exits from the tunnels all over the place, and you just follow the color-coding to figure out when it's safe to go up.
At the center of the tunnels is Character Alley. It's the place where all the people who "fortunate" enough to get paid to stomp around dressed as a Disney character get to hang out. They work incredibly crappy hours (just because you only see them in the Magic Kingdom for 15-30 minutes at a time doesn't mean they are doing something fun the rest of the 12+ hours they sometimes work). They are not allowed to wear the costumes home, or even to remove them from the premises. So, they hang out down there where the costumes are stored.
I have two very distinct memories of run-ins at Character Alley. The first was that day of cast member orientation and involves a fellow College Program person. He was a guy from Alabama, and I don't really know what he expected, but he quite literally freaked the hell out when he saw Winnie the Pooh walking around without a head. Like, FREAKED OUT. He was scarred from the experience, and talked about it pretty much every day from that day forward.
The second memory came as we were leaving. Character Alley is a short jaunt from the main entrance to the tunnels, so many of the characters will wander over that way for a little fresh air. As my little group walked out of the concrete maze, Cinderella sat on a bench just outside the door. She was done up in full character garb--perfect dress, perfect hair, and perfect makeup. Also perfect? The amazing litany of four-letter words that were falling from her mouth as she sucked on a cigarette. For the cynic that is me, it was HYSTERICAL. The pretty little princess was far from what she appeared to be, and she even taught me some new curse words. So. Awesome.
I ran into that same Cinderella some time later while visiting my roommate's boyfriend at his apartment. He was a Green Army Man (Toy Story) and one of the dancing hippos in the Fantasia parade, so he obviously knew all the characters. Cinderella REALLY did look exactly like her character, so it wasn't hard to spot her. It also wasn't hard to smell her. Can we say, "chain smoker?" Oh. my. hell. The woman must have smoked three packs a day, and her bright blond hair was more pungent than a Yankee Candle.
So, I think I have a very valid excuse for nearly falling over into a fit of giggles when Alexis recently changed Cinderella's name. I'm pretty sure she used to pronounce it correctly, but recently she's added a few letters. I can guarantee it is Mr. Husband's fault since he likes to alter words for his own personal amusement, and I know I've heard him say it.
Cindersmella.
Most appropriate name for a Disney character ever.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Reader Comments (24)
Bwhaha! So Cindersmella has a two pack a day habit, huh? Now we know what she's hiding under that tiara!!
That' pretty funny! who would have guessed?
Ew! Smelly Cinderella! An asthmatic's nightmare, I'll bet.
Sounds a bit like working for Kennywood! So, what character were you? This also reminded me of when I worked at Olan Mills. My supervisor would be sweet and gush over the kids while she was taking their pictures. Then, the second they walked out with their parents they were called a gd f'in brat. She chain smoked on breaks, too.
I'd love to know the new words you learned;) As for Cindersmella, well let's just say that I am still in awe you actually got to work in the Promise Land. You are the cynic--I am bubblegum.
But we do have a couple of little princesses in common, so it's all good.
Now I can't stop wondering what kind of tortures that poor dude had as a kid with headless animals. You did say AL right?
ooooh.....I love your behind-the-scenes Disney stories.
Tell me more,
Tell me more,
Like did he have a car!?
...whoops...did I just switch into musical mode? Sorry 'bout that.
*GASP* If I didn't already love you, you would have just become my hero. You got to LIVE at Disney World?!?! I know it's not glamorous, but oh, my am I freakin' out over here. We go as often as we can and this just blew my mind. Although, I can totally picture the Cindersmella scenario...
That totally ruins the Cinderella image for me! But very funny, none the less!
oh my gosh... so funny.
I am amazed they'd allow her (or anyone) to smoke in the costume.
As a cynical adult, I just knew there was a chain smoking, truck driver cursing, Cinderella out there! Ha! Thanks for the confirmation.
Dude, you worked at Disney? That's awesome! How did they let Cinderella smoke in her costume?? Wouldn't the kids notice her smokey stench when they're posing for pictures??
Hahahaha!! I'm surprised she got away with sitting outside swearing and smoking! Had someone seen her, she'd surely have been fired, huh? Thanks for the giggles!
Oh my gosh!!! Thay is hysterical! You just never know what a nice princess really is like. I will never look at Cindersmella the same again. :)
The smelly lass sounds a bit like my MIL ... who can be smelled from three zip codes away. *shudder*
I'm with The Mommy, up there, and I am totally jealous of you being able to live at Disney World! If I had known that was possible, I might have actually gone to a real college, or something. :)
BTW, I never did see the tunnel entrance that you told me about, may be because I'm lame, or because I had seven kids with me, not sure. :) Thanks for sharing.
@Wendy--I don't think the look-a-like characters CAN be fired. It's not like there are millions of chicks who happen to look like Cinderella and are willing to work crappy hours for crappy pay are trouncing around in every mall.
It's the princesses from Shrek! I love the behind the story! We're going to Disney World this month sans kids! It's a long story.
hilarious. i love the idea of a trash-talking, chain-smoking disney princess.
Being behind the scenes at the happiest place on earth is a real eye opener. We marched in Disney parades twice in high school, which is where I saw Tigger and Dopey without their heads. They're dead serious about protecting the park patrons from seeing what's back there - if we were caught taking any pictures in the staging area our cameras would be confiscated and the film destroyed. I wonder what they do now in the days of digital and cell phone cameras. . .
I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read this "he quite literally freaked the hell out when he saw Winnie the Pooh walking around without a head" !!!!
I would pay good money to see Cinderella in full garb swearing like a sailor. Seriously Disney, if you want to make even more money, here's some adult entertainment that doesn't involve anything x-rated: Disney Princesses behaving like the less-than-princesses they probably are in real life ;-)
Cindersmella!? That is priceless! I don't think I will ever be able to call her Cinderella again after that story. Too funny!
Okay, that's weird because Punkin just recently started saying Cindersmella. Am I the only one hearing Twilight Zone music?
Hahaha! Love the name changes the little ones pull. They can fit in uncanny ways, like StoopiDoo!
Bwahahahaha!!!! Good one.