More Easy Organic Dog Treats: Butt Breath Edition

I have another recipe for dog treats that I like to make. It's an extra-special one just for my beloved Jasmine, she who haveth the most rank breath in all the land. Meg may overall stink more, but since she can't reach her butt, her breath is surprisingly fresh and, dare I say, pleasant for what it is. Jasmine, on the other hand, can knock you out with one little sigh.

If organic makes you happy, then by all means, shop organic. Just don't expect the dog to appreciate it.

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 cup water
2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 cup oatmeal
1/3 cup chopped fresh mint
1/3 cup chopped dried parsley (look for it in the spice section)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine oil and water. Gradually add flour until the dough is the consistency of Play-Doh. Then add oatmeal, mint, and parsley. Roll dough to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut with a cookie cutter. Place on a an ungreased cookie sheet 1 inch apart and back at 375 degrees for 35 minutes, or until the bottoms are slightly browned.

Easy Organic Dog Treat Recipe

Remember the treats Alexis keeps sneaking to the dogs? Here's the recipe for them (buy organic if that kind of thing makes you happy):

1/4 cup peanut butter
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 cup water
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup oatmeal

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine peanut butter, oil, and water. Gradually add flour until dough is the consistency of Play-Doh, then add oatmeal. Roll dough to 1/4 inch thickness and cut with a cookie cutter. Place one inch apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 35 to 40 minutes, or until bottoms of treats are lightly brown.

Dora and Boots are Prom Cuss

It has happened before. Universes that Alexis loves have been known to collide. There was that time that Elmo was on Sesame Street doing sign language. I personally witnessed my poor child go slack-jaw, bug-eyed, and silent, unable to comprehend how it was that her second favorite monster could possibly know anything about her secret language. Then there was the time that we found her favorite monster, Zoe, on a backpack. The girl lurves Zoe. The girl lurves backpacks. Put them together, and watch as she spins in circles, trying to stare at her best friend Zoe whilst she sports her precious backpack.

Sometimes her universes collide in ways I didn't think were possible. She adores Dora, the bossy little Latina who has sold her soul to the devil by making appearances on everything from bags of broccoli to slippers. You would think the little snot would have amassed enough money to elope with her strange, talking "friend" Boots by now, but perhaps she has blown much of her wealth on booze and drugs. And then there is Alexis' love affair with bad pop music. I tolerate her SexyBack tendencies because Justin really does bring the sexy back. I sigh through her jaunts with Britney Spears because I figure she's just not old enough to understand just how wrong everything Britney is. And I shrug my way through her demands to listen to Nelly Furtado's Maneater and Prom Cuss every.single.day in my car. It could be worse, after all, she could have better enunciation skills and actually say the word correctly.

No matter, two more of her favorite universes have collided, and I fear there would be some sort of mind-blowing disaster if she were to see it for herself. At minimum I would need some smelling salts because her little brain? Could not handle this much awesomeness.