It Must be Love

Earlier today Alexis and I were sitting on the couch together reading. She paused to take off her shoes, then proceeded to poke at the bottoms of her feet and between her toes. Out came the toe jam. And in her mouth went the fingers. She scooped a few more spoonfuls of toe jam into her own mouth, then realized that she was being selfish. So then she started trying to feed me her toe jam. Obviously, she must love me very much if she's willing to share the goodies she finds on her feet. And I love her back, just not quite enough to actually take a bite of what she was offering.

Gimme the Bawna, and Nobody Gets Hurt

I think maybe Orlando had the right idea when they were experiencing the great banana shortage of 2007. Alexis is now so obsessed with eating bananas all the time that it's becoming difficult to buy them. If she so much as catches a glimpse, she goes all ape (ha! how's that for a bad joke).

I have turned into a stealth banana shopper. I sneak around the produce department, carefully distracting Alexis as I secretly snatch a bunch and hide them below the other items in the cart. It's easier that way.

Daddy needs to learn the art of the stealth. Yesterday he learned why. I warned him twice "don't let her see them" but he didn't listen. Because, you know, your wife couldn't possibly be nagging you for a reason. So when he grabbed a bunch and dropped them in the cart RIGHT BEHIND ALEXIS IN PLAIN VIEW (gasp!), he got to see the Bawna Monster in action.

The Bawna Monster (she can't quite say banana, but she sure can say bawna) starts out by politely and quietly asking for a bawna. If it doesn't work, then she gets louder and less polite. Then louder yet, and even less polite. Finally, she just starts yelling "BAWNA" at the top of her lungs. Daddy thought he could escape the Bawna Monster by handing her the bunch. She taught him who's the boss by promptly yelling at him to peel her bawna. She loudly chanted "DADDY BAWNA DADDY DADDY BAWNA." There's nothing better than seeing the looks on strangers faces as they try to figure out what all the commotion is about. And since Daddy is a rule-abiding citizen, she had to go without the bawna until after he had paid for them. Poor, deprived Bawna Monster.

A Hole that Doesn't Need Filled

Ever since the iguana died, there has been a hole in our lives. It's about two feet deep, five feet tall, and four feet wide. Yes, there is a big empty space where his cage once sat. I was shocked (and thrilled) when Daddy threw away his custome-made monstrosity of a cage. But I haven't thrown a party yet. In fact, a whole two weeks have now gone by, and it's starting to look like I was right to be a bit hesitant with my joyful celebration.

A replacement animal is in the works. Daddy is now on a mission to find a turtle for the pond. Said turtle will move indoors for the winter because surprise, surprise, Daddy did keep all the essentials for getting some type of creature. So far, the gods of turtle acquisition have been helping me out. Turtles are on sale at Petco, but the four Petcos that Daddy has checked so far were sold out. The one store he found them at wanted more than double what Petco sells them for. So he waits. And tries to pressure me into calling every Petco in town to find him his turtle. Oh wait, it's not "his" turtle. He's trying to convince me that Alexis wants a turtle. Last time I checked, Alexis was happy with just having dogs and cats for pets, but whatever.

Now I must start a new game. The delay game. I'm going to see if I can delay the turtle purchase over and over again until Daddy forgets. It has worked in the past when he tried to bring home various critters, so wish me luck. I have a trip to Indy on my side. We'll be there all next week. It really wouldn't make sense to buy a turtle then leave it, now would it?