A Rocky Star
"Momma, I'm too scared to go to kindergarten. I want to stay home with you," Alexis said. They were the first words that fell out of her mouth that morning. The words were uttered before she even managed to open her eyes. Just in case I hadn't heard her desperate plea for a change in plans, she kept repeating the words. "Momma, I'm too scared to go to kindergarten."
The least the kid could have done was to sew up the giant hole in my chest that was left behind when she ripped my heart out. Instead of doing anything to make me feel better, she spent the next hour telling me about how she didn't want any new friends, how she missed her friends from preschool and summer camp, and how it would be really fun if we just went shopping instead of to school and to work.
Aren't kids supposed to be EXCITED for their first day? That was how I had it planned out, anyway.
The whole idea of kindergarten has been jinxed from the start, so I should have known better than to think any of my plans would ever go right. Once I knew where Alexis was going to go, I should have just stopped planning. Forget buying school clothes. Ignore any supply lists. Don't even tell the kid what to expect. THAT would have worked so much better.
Instead, I spent the morning helping her get dressed, making sure her ginormous backpack was ready, and talking up everything about school. She showed a glimmer of excitement when I mentioned the school bus, so I focused on that for a few minutes. When at last we went out the front door to take a few First Day of Kindergarten photos, she had come around. She was ready for a fun ride on the bus and was going to use that as her springboard for tackling the day.
She really was excited as she stood on our porch waiting for a glimpse of that bright yellow bus. But excitement quickly turned to curiosity as she began to question why we were still waiting. "How much longer, momma?" she asked.
I went from saying, "Just a few minutes," to "Well, it was supposed to be here by now," and then to, "I'm not sure what's wrong, Alexis" over the course of ten minutes. I disguised my frustration as I searched frantically for the phone number of the bus service before I finally decided I should just take the kid to school and deal with the bus chaos once Alexis was contently seated in her classroom.
Alexis was completely thrown off by the change in plans, but after a long ride through pouring rain, she seemed more or less ready.
Until we got to the door of the room where she had to go while she waited for school to start.
That was when full-on shy girl panic struck. Alexis clung to me, started to cry, and began begging to go back home. Which, NOT FAIR, KID. Through the chaos and confusion, I had managed to ignore all of those annoying Mom Emotions.
But then there they were, pleading with the kid to please stop ripping my heart out.
I finally managed to drag Alexis into the room. I grabbed some crayons and a piece of paper, hoping to lure her into some comfortable busy work. It didn't work, of course. But then a few minutes later, a little angel came along. She was an older girl, probably in second or third grade. "Is it your first day?" she asked Alexis.
And just like that, Alexis was done with me. She told me to go to work as she turned to talk to her new friend.
It has been smooth sailing since.
(Yes, her backpack is indeed bigger than her. It's the one she *really* wanted, though.)
Monday, September 5, 2011
Reader Comments (17)
My son just hit 2 and I feel it is a bit premature but I can't help but think about what this will be like. Particularly with the first child, It is a life altering moment when your baby starts down that tried & true path to adulthood. Best of luck to you enjoying as many moments as you can.
Thank goodness for sweet older kids! Caileigh's first day taking the bus it drove right past her. Next day she was excited but as soon as it pulled up she did the old grab onto my leg for dear life. I saw a 5th grade boy that was friends w/ my nephew and asked him if she could sit with him & he said "sure" so off she went to the back seat. 3 days later she's still sitting with him in the back & loves it. I owe him big time!
Glad she likes it - fun times ahead!
WOW you did an amazing job. You acted calm amidst the crazy situation. Tried to get her focusing on something different until someone approached her, and then as it happened you removed yourself from the situation. PERFECT!
Did you go back to the car and weep/sob?
I love the sign she held to commemorate the occasion. But I had no doubts. That kid is all you, shining brightly in new and fun adventures.
@amandeep--Pretty much.
sheesh, ripped my heart out and i wasn't even there.
so glad she rallied quickly! way to go, alexis!
Ugh. They really know how to sucker punch a momma, don't they? Glad it ended well. (And hope the bus thing got worked out.)
Jonathan goes to Pre-K tomorrow. I have no idea what kindergarten will be like next year. I'm trying not to think about it!
It's totally insane that she's in kindergarten. I still feel like she should be two like when I first met you guys.
Glad she warmed up quickly. I hope she had an awesome first day!
(And yeah, that backpack? HILARIOUSLY HUGE.)
Nice back pack...I hope you have a chiropractor in the family. Also, what does a Kindergartner fill that giant bag with? That's a lot of play-doh.
@Brenner 3.0--For the first day of school, she had enough supplies in there to construct a second kindergartner. Since then it has just been her lunch bag and a water bottle, though. :-)
I'm pretty sure I would have slipped that girl some cash! What a sweetheart! It gives me hope that their are still kids like that around.
It seemed to me like there are only 2 sizes for bookbags. Ridiculously small or ridiculously big.
BB asked about three days in if he could just stay home and play games with me. I wanted to say yes. Sigh.
Good for her. And hooray for that angel of a girl.
That back pack is hilarious.
I want to know what happened with the bus. Did they ever explain that one? Has it come on time since then?
I came here just to find this post. :) I knew she had started school and wanted to see how it went!! Glad the older girl came along, for both of your sakes. And glad she's liking it so far!
That IS a large backpack! :)