A Simple Proposition
I have a proposition I would like to make to all parents. It's absolutely a win-win situation. If we all agree to this one little thing, we may all be able to enjoy an improved quality of life. Here's what I'd like to do: I'd like for us all to agree that it's fine that our kids do whatever it is that they want to do, but when that thing they want to do negatively impacts someone else, we'll at least try to stop it.
For example, let's say a kid is screaming bloody murder in a public yet confined place. Let's all agree that we'll look at that kid and say, "Shhhhh!" We all know it may not actually do any good. In fact, it may cause the kid to scream louder, but let's at least try. You never know what may happen if we try to tame the wild beasts.
Or, how about if a kid starts throwing things, we all agree to maybe threaten to take that thing away? Maybe? Like, let's say a kid is throwing a portable DVD player around an airplane. Perhaps once the kid launches that sucker like a missile, we can all agree that we'll turn to that kid and be all, "Do that again and I'm putting your DVD player away." Just the threat. I mean, it would probably be even better if we made good on the threat, but whatever. At least telling the kid that it's not OK might be a start.
One more hypothetical example...let's say that a kid is using an airplane seat for kick boxing practice and throws in a few rounds of punches. That would probably be a good time to threaten to take away the pile of candy, to threaten to throw away the giant pile of toys, and to toss in a nice threat of prison for the rest of the kid's life, right? That is a reasonable punishment after all. If your kid kicks my seat more than 500 times in two hours, jail time seems to be the best solution in my head.
I know traveling with kids is more frightening that walking into a room full of rabid half-starved rats while wearing Lady Gaga's meat dress, but perhaps if we all agree to this standard, we can go far in making sure that an entire plane filled with people won't fantasize about punching you in the face. Not that anyone was doing that. We most certainly weren't because we were too busy glaring at you for not trying to change that diaper. "Whoopsie! You made a stinky!" sure was a great way to help keep your kid from getting self-conscious!
Until we all agree to this simple proposition, I demand that all airline flights with children end like this:
Because, really, the beach can make any bad memories just sort of float away.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Reader Comments (21)
I used to think it was the unruly children that I hated. Now, I'm pretty sure it's the parents who don't know how to control their unruly children that I hate. How about a bit of discipline for your monster, k? TYVM.
@Ms. Caroline FB--I totally get that kids have bad days and we can't really stop them if they want to act like jerks, but, yeah. WOW. I've never seen anything quite like what happened on the plane this morning.
I think she was on my last flight. Interestingly enough, the sextuplets were more well behaved than the other kid whose mom didn't do jack about it. (I have horrible flights.)
I'm with you on this proposition!
I understand that in that situation it's not like the parents can just take the kid outside until he/she calms down but that doesn't mean that you just let the kid run amok.
Also, I once witnessed a father change a toddler's dirty diaper in the middle of a library. With other children running around (namely, mine). Be glad that all they did was announce it.
And Hey! At least you're in Disney now! Funnel cake tomorrow!
You always inspire me and crack me up. Oh, and the photos of Alexis always make me smile. That's all!
Oh how I've missed seeing the curls in full effect!
I'm with you on your prop. Sometimes it's nice to at least hear a person acknowledge that they know their kid is acting inappropriately.
I am IN! I wholeheartedly agree that parents need to discipline... MORE! (Can you tell I am a big fan of the word? :D) The sun and sand will certainly zap away those bad memories. Just hope that kid isn't on your flight home -hee!
Totally agree!
Traveling with kids sucks but I have little patience for parents who don't parents. I try really hard to give them the benefit of the doubt but it tends to evaporate after the 3rd empty threat that the kid knows no one is going to follow through on or the 15th time the parent pretends not to see the atrocious behavior. Parents who are obviously trying? I'll cut them slack all day long because we've all had those days. But the ones who aren't even phoning it in piss me off. I get all sorts of looks from other parents in different places - they seem to think that I am mean because I actually enforce rules and make my children behave. (Thank goodness my children tend to be very well behaved because it allows me to be all judgey like this. Heh.)
I want to go to there.
Have a great trip!
You're saying at least TRY, right?! Last time I flew (without my kids), there was a little girl who threw a one hour temper tantrum. I wasn't even the slightest bit annoyed because her POOR parents were using every trick in their arsenal -- to no avail. You can't get mad at that.
But, to those do-nothing parents -- they can suck it.
Ditto all those comments above me, and yes - the beach can melt away all unhappy concerns.
Enjoy the trip!
That picture just made me so insane with jealousy that I forgot what my comment was going to be! I miss the beach! I need to fix that soon.
I used to think like the rest of the commenters. Until I gave birth to my son. Having a child that has no outward signs of "special needs", as in if you were to speak with him or look at him you wouldn't think that there was anything different about him, has changed all that for me. My son has problems with behavior and anxiety. The slightest little things can set him into full blow tantrum that may require him to be restrained - and these could last for up to an hour. You may never know when or if it is coming. It could be the buzzing of an overhead light or something like that unforeseen to the rest of us. So this post and the comments terrify me even more that when I go to Disney in October with my son on an airplane for the first time in his life I will be the mom with the bad parenting skills to those that are around me on the plane. I will make sure I have a letter from his doctor and I will make sure that I bring all that I can to try and prevent this type of behavior but you just plain never can know.
I hope that the mom/dad of this child at least apologized to you. Because I know that I will be mortified and my husband will be sick if this happens to us on the plane. I'm already losing sleep over this fear!
Every (good) parent knows that even if you are severely limited in the parenting tricks at your disposal on an airplace (you can't pull it over to the side of the road, turn around and go back home, or go to any good time-out spots), you are bound to TRY to parent your child. You are, after all, the PARENT. And if other passengers HEAR you or SEE you try, they will be a little more forgiving if the child doesn't listen. Also, it wouldn't hurt to apologize to the other passengers ifyou're in that position and share how embarrassed you are. Trying even a little will buy you a lot of wiggle room in everyone else's good graces.
what katie in ma said!
love that your day at the beach made it all fade away...
When my son Blake was around 5 yo we went to Galveston and found a hermit crab on the beach. When my husband and I said oh look there is a hermit crab. Our son looked up at us and said how do you know his name is hermin. lol So from then on they have been hermin the crabs. haha
Hope y'all are having a great time. And on the way back you don't get stuck with the same little monster that was behind your seat on the way to Florida. :-)
Mmmm, beach! She is getting so big!
In a perfect or near perfect world I can see your point. Sometime, as a parent, though, you're just done. You are so fracking done it's not even funny. My kids are generally well behaved, but I try not to judge other parents because you just don't know if their kid is sick or special needs or if the parent is ill or in serious need of mommy/daddy time out.
I don't judge because I wouldn't want others to judge me on my bad days. I take a deep breath and try to sympathize.
Thank goodness you have that as your saving grace because WOAH.
@Mo--There were three kids. The group had the entire row (both sides of the aisle). Instead of the kids each sitting in a seat, they went back and forth between Mom and Dad's side and their own. It was 7:00 am and they were headed out for vacation at Disney, too. Normally I'm all "there's probably a story," but if all three of your kids take turns kicking seats and you never once say, "Hey, please don't kick the seat," not even halfheartedly, then I have to think you just don't care. Especially if you keep talking about Aunt Judy's adorable new puppy in a peppy, ready-to-enjoy-the-day voice.
They had a different idea of what's acceptable in public, which was fine for them, but sucked for everybody seated around them.