Binding Contracts
After five years, three months, and eight days of living with me, Alexis has started to figure out one universal truth that will always exist in my world: Nothing is free. If she wants to have a say in what I cook for dinner, she better help me empty the dishwasher. If she wants me to read a book to her, she better read one to me first. And if she wants me to buy something for her, I better be getting something out of the deal.
That last one might explain why it's so fun shopping with her. She has been brainwashed and rarely asks for anything without offering something up.
That's how it came to be that Alexis promised she would sleep in her bed three whole nights. She saw a Barbie she wanted and said, "I'm going to sleep in my bed three nights and you can surprise me with that Barbie!"
I had to admire her creative use of manipulation, especially since it was almost a good deal. Almost. I changed the terms to five nights, figuring that if she wanted to set goals and pick her own rewards, fine. Whatever. I would just make the compensation a little sweeter for me.
She, of course, crushed that goal in no time, further proving my theory that it doesn't matter what I do, she will sleep in her bed when she has it in her head that she wants to sleep in her bed. I could duct tape and chain her to the mattress and she'd manage to escape if she set her mind to it. Similarly, she could decide tomorrow that she's never sleeping more than two consecutive hours again, and she would find a way to do it.
Anyway, that's how I found myself running to Target all. by. myself. After doing cartwheels in the gardening aisle and staring at a bunch of things I knew we didn't need, I meandered back to the Barbie aisle and found The One Alexis had requested. Just for kicks, I did a few more cartwheels in the aisles and then walked the entire perimeter of the store. I managed to make the full loop in something less than three miserable weeks and it was glorious! No whining about how far it was! No feet dragging! Did I mention no whining? NO WHINING! About anything!
In theory I should have spent $9,351,340 while I was there. ALONE! In reality, I bought the Barbie and that was it.
I'm so lame.
Regardless, upon presenting the Barbie to Alexis and congratulating her on making her goal, she said, "Thank you!" She paused before continuing, "I'm going to stay in my bed forever and ever."
My eyes popped open faster than Dora can get on my nerves. "Forever?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'm not going to get in your bed any more," she replied.
Any lawyers in the house? If I get her to sign a contract stating that she'll stay in her own bed, will it be binding in court? What if I have her sign it in blood?
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Reader Comments (11)
hahaha goooood luck =) Our son is one and has only spent 1 night ever in our bed. We are terrible about his vices (pacis, cheese, loose women, etc) but that is the only one we stuck by. I think it helps that we both sleep like the dead and seriously worry about smothering him...
I am delurking to say that I had the same problem with my son, about 3 1/2 months younger than Alexis. He'd start out in his bed, but end up in ours. I'd take him back to his bed, he'd come back, rinse and repeat. Finally, in desperation, we told him any night he stayed in his bed all night, we'd give him a quarter to put in his piggy bank. I didn't really want to go that route; seemed wrong somehow, but... anyway, it WORKED. Like a charm!
You went to Target, and spent less than $100?! That's possible?!
LOL! THIS lawyer thinks that's an irrevocable contract and will happily help you to enforce it in any way necessary. Congratulations -- bribery is tried and true.
Inquiring minds want to know, did she stay in her bed last night?
@tehamy--Yes, she did. However, she hasn't named her price for this "forever" bit. I'm skeered.
Alexis? See title of previous post: "Think. Then Talk." ;)
There is a popular misunderstanding that all contracts must be in writing to be "legal". It's typically better because it is handier as evidence, but not usually required. If Alexis contests the legitimacy of your verbal contract, you can instruct her to research the Statute of Frauds which, in Pennsylvania, does not require a written memorandum of the agreement in the event that the validity of the contract is questioned (since this isn't a sale of real estate [sounds more like an exclusion from entry and enjoyment actually] or a lease in excess of a three year term or a sale of goods in excess of $500).
Although if she argues legal incapacity due to not reaching majority age yet, then you're stuck with, "But you promised!" and "I'm your mother and that's why!". But hopefully the statute of frauds thing will have her head spinning long enough to point her in the direction of her own bed and give her a gentle, but firm, nudge.
Yup, I just went through this drill with Flora and Kate. The terms were: 1. After I put them in bed at night, they had to stay in bed. (unless they had to go to the potty. And even then, I better not hear the pitter-patter of little feet.) 2. They each had to sleep in her own bed. All.Night.Long.
Our terms were 7 nights, and they each got to pick their prize.
They made it. Now I have to get their prizes -- and find another way to stretch seven day into "forever". :)
I'm a lawyer, and I think we can immediately sue for breach of contract and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Also, MADE YOU SQUEEE
Ha! I had to re-read that sentence - I thought you said HER eyes popped open because she realized she had given away an important bargaining chip! lol