Bunnies and Impossibilities
A year ago at this time, I was overwhelmed by the impossibilities. The days were passing and it was becoming more and more obvious that the impossible was indeed possible, but I didn't quite believe it.
The evidence of my disbelief was everywhere.
There was a nursery to be completed, clothes and other essentials that needed to be purchased, and all sorts of things undone. It became a joke amongst people who see me daily. "Did you start getting ready for that baby yet?" they would ask.
"What baby?" was always my reply. Denial is a powerful drug.
That's why the moment stands out as much as it does. It was the moment when I took a leap of faith and made a silly little purchase.
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I have a thing for clearance shopping after holidays. There's no other way to decorate a couple (dozen) (ahem) Christmas trees than to accumulate the ornaments on clearance. I don't just do it for Christmas, though. Pretty much every holiday is wrapped up with a hunt for some very seriously marked down items.
It was April of last year when I walked into Walmart. It's not my favorite place to go, but sometimes it's the right place to go. On that day, I was there to grab groceries, but there was a little aisle of Easter items on clearance. I walked by once and grabbed a few bags of candy for an egg hunt we were attending in a few days. I walked by again a few minutes later and grabbed a stuffed bunny.
The bunny wasn't anything special, but it was 90% off. A mere $1 was all it was going to take to make Alexis so very happy. She's addicted to stuffed animals, even though I very seriously doubt she would notice if I were to box up 50 of the stuffed animals in her bedroom. There are just so many, not even FIFTY of them could make a dent. But, man, does she love them.
I walked to the front of the store to pay for my items, then paused. I had just one bunny in my cart.
But.
But there could be two kids by the time Easter rolled around again.
I grabbed a second bunny.
But then I put both bunnies back.
And then I grabbed them again.
Times ten.
I kept circling the store, arguing with myself about whether or not to spend $2 on some stupid stuffed animals. It was just an extra $1 that I was spending, but it represented a heck of a lot more.
It represented faith.
I eventually bought the two mostly identical bunnies. They sat in a closet together for a year, just waiting for Easter to roll around again.
Mila loves her bunny.
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Reader Comments (3)
It's hard to imagine things turning out well after you've experienced loss. I know. But that moment when you decide to believe it's all going to be ok THIS time is pretty magical. So glad to have Mila in our family!
Faith is something we haven't had much of around these parts lately. Hopefully someday soon we'll regain enough to buy a bunny of our own <3
For me it was an Easter basket on clearance at Target. I bought it and hid it in a closet, so no one could know I was hoping. She's 2 and a half, now. And has 6 Easter baskets (but just that one from me).