Give An Inch, She Swoops In And Steals It
I will be the first to admit that I am in control of All Of The Outdoor Things. The husband is allowed to mow the grass BUT THAT IS IT BACK AWAY FROM THE TREES AND SHRUBS AND PERENNIALS AND DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY POND.
Aren't you glad you aren't married to me?
The truth of the matter is that I can't even let Alexis pick out flower seeds without twitching. Every year I let her stand in a store and pick out a packet or two, but I do everything in my power to mentally steer her towards the correct answer. So far she has managed to pick things I could work with, but I'm not sure what I'll do if she ever picks out marigolds. DIE, MAYBE.
(I realize the Marigold People are all up in arms right now. SIMMER DOWN. I'm almost willing to let the white ones be in a neighbor's yard, but I just can't do the yellow or orange ones anywhere near me. I'll reconsider when I'm old and wrinkly because THAT'S WHO LIKES MARIGOLDS. GRANDMAS.)
Anyway, I might have had a seizure or two when the husband requested some outdoor space of his own. We've had a fire bowl for a few years now which we use ALL. THE. TIME. He wanted an established space around it. He and his friends tend to hang out around the fire bowl constantly once the weather cooperates. Apparently the broken pieces of concrete we had haphazardly thrown around the fire bowl creating a mini patio weren't cutting it for them.
Then he went and had the nerve to say he wanted the same kind of rock for his mini patio that we had used for the pond. As if he's allowed to have an opinion!
He got his way, but only because that was what would look best. He ran up to a landscaping place last week and picked up a pallet of rocks that weighed more than two elephants on their fat and bloaty days. I promptly stole some of the rocks to do some rearranging on the pond and then set up his patio.
With him watching.
And trying to help.
But not being allowed to.
I have no idea why he puts up with me and my control issues. Possibly because he has his own set and they are just as weird.
A few hours (OK, so maybe it was DAYS. That's what happens when you refuse to let anyone help.) later, a new patio had appeared up behind the pond.
Look! Look! I let the husband do something! I am so generous that I let him carry that concrete bench up there. It's there mostly because adult beverages seem to migrate to the space around the fire. While that alone seems like a bad idea in my head, adult beverages between a fire and a pond seems even worse. I figure with that bench there I shouldn't have to deal with any people swimming with the fishies and frogs. In theory.
We're a long way from done with that space. There are trees missing, some shrubs, mulch, a fence (that'll happen right around the time it starts to rain money), and of course there are a million perennials all through that space that haven't figured out that it's June (in my head). (You really can't convince my brain that it's March. Impossible.)
But you can tell that it's going to be pretty amazing. Eventually.
I'm so generous to let the husband have his own outdoor space, aren't I? SO GENEROUS.
It's too bad that Alexis has claimed it as her own.
No. Really. She has been hanging out on that bench nearly constantly for a week now.
I guess the husband will have to go find his own patio somewhere else.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Reader Comments (6)
I don't hate marigolds as much as empty tooth sockets...but I'm not a fan of them either.
I need to get ambitious and do something with our outside spaces. But then I'll have to weed more and it is too flipping hot in the south to weed. Last time I did it, I ended up throwing up for 30 minutes afterward. Fun.
I so love your pond and the new patio. I think Alexis has found a wonderful thinking/reading space. I am very jealous.
I don't care for marigolds either. got any tips on how i can get my hydrangeas that hate me to come back this year? they were so pretty in the pot at lowes and then i planted them and they promptly died. there's no leaves on them at all right now and it's so sad :(
P.S can you please let me know when it starts raining money so I can come over? thanks :)
you are such an ass...there is nothing wrong with orange or yellow marigolds!
the patio and pond look fantastic. love what you are doing with the space. although can i make fun of you if the steps up to the patio still are potentially deadly?
also, i'm curious, do either of the dogs like to drink from the pond?
It really is lovely. For someone who gets to start landscaping their house this year, you might even call it inspiring. Can't blame the girl for taking it.
And I don't much care for marigolds either.
Uh, tell Mr. Husband to bring his patio-making abilities down to my house and he can have the whole damn yard! I will even buy him fire. And possibly the drinks. AND all the cash (snickers) tucked in a way in an envelope marked "future patio".