History Doesn't Always Repeat Itself
As I frantically raced back to the house, I thought about how very different Alexis' kindergarten experience has been from my own. My earliest memories start with that first year at North Hills Elementary. While most of the details are buried in a giant pile of forgotten experiences, there are a few that continue to linger. One of those lingering memories was jostled free as I considered what would happen if Alexis' bus reached the house before I did.
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It was a bright and unseasonably warm day, which isn't saying much considering it was Minot, North Dakota. The fact that it was Minot is the only explanation I have for why things happened the way they did. Trust runs thick through the veins of North Dakotans because rarely do you encounter anyone who isn't trustworthy. People assume everything is OK because it usually is.
I was a morning kindergarten sort of kid. When morning classes were dismissed, I lined up on the curb with the rest of the kids who lived a little too far from the school to be allowed to walk home. As I stood on that curb, I watched as kid after kid climbed into their family's car and left. I waited and waited, expecting my mom to pull up in our junky wood-paneled station wagon at any moment.
I waited.
And waited.
When I found myself standing alone, I thought it would be a good idea to pretend everything was OK. I decided I would make it look like I was supposed to walk to my Aunt's house that day. Instead of walking to her house a few blocks away, however, I circled the block. I circled the block and watched and waited, absolutely certain that my mom would pull up at any moment.
When I grew bored of circling the block, I decided to go to the playground behind the school. I took a leisurely spin on the merry-go-round, the silence of an empty playground ringing in my ears. When the silence was shattered by the release of the fourth graders charging the playground for recess, I ran away. Fourth graders are scary when you're in kindergarten.
I ran until I found myself standing at the curb at the front of the school. I stood there pondering what to do next, still watching for my mom to pull up, when suddenly a car came to an abrupt stop. I didn't know what to do, but I quickly ascertained that cars are supposed to stop when you're standing near the crosswalk lines. I pulled on a confident face and crossed the street, all the while acting as if that had been the plan all along.
Once the car was out of sight, I returned to the school. Surely my mom would be there at any moment!
I waited.
And I waited.
School let out for the day and still I waited.
When I began to fear that darkness would overtake the school grounds before my mom pulled up in the station wagon, I made the decision to walk home. It was a long six blocks, but as a kindergartener it felt like miles.
I still don't know my mom never picked me up from school that day. Or any of the other days that she didn't show up.
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I have always been home when Alexis' bus has pulled in front of her house, except for that once. There was that one time when her bus was a little early and I was a little late and there was a substitute driver who didn't think to check for a car in the driveway before letting Alexis off of the bus.
I pulled up just as the bus was pulling away from the curb. I caught up with Alexis as she was about to try to open the door.
Alexis' kindergarten experience has been very different from my own.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Reader Comments (11)
Your daughter dresses cooler than me. Just saying' :)
@Lindsay--She dresses better than 98% of Pittsburghers.
I saw Minot on Discovery channel the other night. It was about the flooding experienced there. After watching that I can understand why you live Pittsburgh so much. Reminds of the small town nowhere that I grew up in. I know I came home to an empty house many times. I can't imagine ever doing that to my son. I will always be there for him. Its a good thing history doesn't always repeat itself.
And your daughter is a very lucky girl to have you for her mom.
You're a wonderful mama. I AM the school bus around here...and when I was very pregnant (read: crazy) I forgot to exit the interstate to get to the boys' school. It's about 12 miles to the NEXT exit, which meant I was 20 minutes late. I called and asked them to explain to him what was going on and because it's a small school with daycare I knew he would be OK but the guilt just about killed me. Glad you made it in time.
You know you're raising a future supermodel, right? Good grief that girl can strike a pose these days!
Sorry you had to go through that as a kid, that would be scary as a kindergartener. Nowadays, someone from the school would have noticed and called your mom. But when you have a tough childhood, one good thing that can come of it is to know what not to do when you have kids of your own. That's why you're such a great mom now.
Aw! You're a tough cookie, and fourth graders ARE scary.
I got on the wrong bus home on the first day of kindergarten. When I got over my terror that the bus was going AWAY from my house, I promptly got off of it and sat in a Pizza Hut wondering what to do next. A nice waitress called my school (my mom couldn't be reached). The principal showed up to drive me home, but then I refused to get in the car with him because he was a STRANGER, duh.
It's so nice Alexis can depend on you!
i love the woman you became out of everything you have experienced
I think... what you went thru as a child has most likely been a determining factor in you being the very awesome mom that you are today.
You're making lemonade baby.
This made me sad.
I, too, think all you experienced growing up influenced who you are today and the woman you are? Seems pretty freakin' amazing!!
Also? Alexis dresses better than me. Any chance you want to do some shopping for a 30-something year old? I don't cook so, I can't bribe you with fancy meals. But, I do like to clean, if that helps. ;)
One of my twins would love Alexis' boots; she has a pair very similar that she wears all the time. Our kids get out of school at 3:41, but the bus pulls up outside our house at 3:40... it's magic!! :)