I Can't Love Everything About Christmas
While half the internet is yelling TOO SOON at me because I pregame the Christmas decorating season, someone has been making me look like a slacker.
I spent the end of last week scurrying to get as many of my indoor decorations set as I could. I knew it would be a busy weekend and YOU GUYS. THERE ARE ONLY TWO WEEKS UNTIL THANKSGIVING. And the two weekends between now and then? They're so full. Wonderfully full, but still. The clock is ticking and if I want to get all of the Christmas trees up and decorated before January, I need to scurry a little bit faster.
(In case you haven't noticed, I couldn't possibly care less that y'all think it's "too soon." I mean, you're sitting over there in the dark at 5:30 every night because the sun sets way too early, but I'm over here looking at sparkly lights. I'm definitely winning.) (Also, maybe you believe in preseason football or preseason hockey or whatever. I believe in preason Christmas.) (Every time someone gives me grief for decorating inside my own home too early, I plug in another string of lights. Thanks for the incentive to make more sparkle!) (I just love parenthesis. So much.) (ANYWAY.)
Somewhere between day 1 of scurrying and day 2 of scurrying more, I realized one of my accomplices was missing. Mila was happily grabbing things out of tubs and hanging ornaments and OMG SO ADORABLE, but the other one? She was nowhere to be found.
After some effort, I found her hiding in her room. Decorating.
She decorated a tree. She strung some garland. She plugged in some lights.
FOR THE MOTHER TRUCKIN ELF ON THE SHELF.
Alexis has converted her dollhouse into an Elf mansion, complete with elaborate holiday decorations. She has Christmas music playing essentially 24/7 and wants to know why the Elf hasn't arrived yet. Is she here yet? She should be here. It's time for the Elf!
I need someone to ruin the Elf fun for her, please. It needs to happen before the joy is spread to Miss Mila and I end up stuck hiding a stupid Elf for several more years.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Reader Comments (2)
#TeamParenthesis(forever)
After all of these years of following you (your blog, not you, I'm too far away to stalk), I don't even roll my eyes any more when you start bringing out the trees before I've even brought out the sweaters for cooler weather.
As for the $#%#@#% elf, I'm convinced I will be hiding that thing when Sabrina comes home for Christmas break from college. The children WANTS to believe. She asked about the tooth fairy last week. She asked if we left the money. Since she asked straight out, I started to level with her. She lost her shit. She only wanted to know if we left the money, she wasn't prepared for the fairy to be outed. I managed to back track and say that yes, the tooth fairy is too busy to make it to every house so she emails us (we started the email thing once when she forgot) and tells us how much money to leave. We are her helpers. She was relieved.