I Got Your Kryptonite Right Here
Alexis was one of those ridiculously active fetus types. There was much rolling and kicking and OMG THOSE ARE MY LUNGS AND I NEED THEM that happened all the way up until about three seconds before she was born. After that, it took me about seven seconds to figure out why she never sat still -- she was trying to figure out how to twirl my hair while staying in the womb.
I'm not kidding.
The kid wrapped her tiny newborn fingers around the ends of my hair immediately after she was born. I have spent the past 7+ years trying to chase those chubby little fingers away.
That's to say, if Alexis is sitting anywhere near me, she has her fingers tangled in my hair. ALWAYS. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.
I'm sure that sounds quite adorable from where you're sitting, but remember that thing where the kid doesn't sleep and never has? She twirls my hair even at night when she's not really sleeping. Which means I'm not really sleeping. Which means nobody is sleeping. WAAAAH!
Obviously, I thought the hair twirly thing was cute for about a week and then lost patience with it. Seven years later, it's the fastest way for Alexis to get me to bite her head off. I try to be patient, but I fail miserably. I tried asking nicely. I tried yelling. I tried begging. I tried sobbing like a baby. NOTHING worked to get the kid to keep her hands to herself.
Until this past weekend.
There was some bribery and shenanigans involved in this whole thing, but that's not the part that matters.
I straightened Alexis' hair and let her keep it straightened all weekend. She paid a price for it, so whatever. Everybody was happy.
But with her hair straight, it became really obvious really fast that she needs her ends trimmed. She really does have exactly my hair, but with curls, so that means her hair is super brittle and the ends split easily. I kinda sorta get obsessed with split ends, and she kinda sorta really doesn't want a hair cut right now, so I fixated on those split ends and started tugging at them and twisting them and generally staring at them.
I have issues. I know. I don't much care.
When I started tugging at the ends, Alexis started to get annoyed. I grabbed hold of that annoyed and ran with it. I twirled and tugged and HEY, KID. TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME.
Alexis flipped her lid. And then some. "Leave my hair alone!" she wailed.
Over and over again. Because I refused to stop. "Come here my preshusssss!"
Earlier tonight when Alexis sat down on the couch with me and began twirling my hair, I reached up and started twirling hers. I haven't seen her since. Coincidence?
Nope!
I just finally found her kryptonite.
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There are a whole bunch of giveaways currently going on and I have a handful more that will be going live this week. Keep an eye on the Review page for the shenanigans.
Currently running:
Easter dinner and five gift cards from Whole Foods (Pittsburgh only)
Another $100 CVS gift card
One last $100 CVS gift card
And a fairy garden starter kit
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Reader Comments (6)
Mwa ha ha. She will rue the day. Rue.
Comments on the "boredom monster" post are turned off. I'd still like to comment to enter in the contest.
Hahahahaha. Oh, now you can always threaten to cut your hair AND hers, and then she won't have anyone's to twirl at all!
Oh, hahaha.
I need some kryptonite up in here.
that child is a trip
Brilliant, Mom! My son (who's now 16) was a sadistic twirler too. He didn't care whose head it was either, as long as it was close enough, it was good hair. When he was in middle school, not being comfortable to touch other people's heads anymore (thankfully), he kept up twirling his own hair. Drove my husband CRAZY. We never thought to twirl his hair though. You rock.
(Alexis has grown sooo much since my last visit to burgh baby!! Hard to believe she's 7 now. I started following when she was 1 year old I think, when I stumbled upon your ants-in-the-wall post which was hilarious enough to hook me. then life got super busy so I couldn't check in as often. SO happy to see you're still at it.)