I Had No Clue You Could Do It Wrong
One of my absolute favorite things about holidays is seeing all of the different ways people celebrate them. I very much so enjoyed checking out people's Instagram posts filled with signs of how their Mother's Day went, for example.
Some people are ecstatic about the drawing that their 6-year old made.
Others gush about the super-expensive give their spouse purchased.
Some show off the cute gifts they got from their dogs. (That one might be my favorite because anybody who finds a partner who will walk into a store and buy a card that says "from the dog" has hit the partner lottery).
It's all fantastic.
I tend to steer towards a simple Mother's Day at our house for a multitude of reasons. I have mixed feelings about the holiday in part because of closets full of skeletons and such, but then there is the pure joy that radiates from Alexis' face when she wakes me up with breakfast in bed at ARE YOU KIDDING ME IT'S SO EARLY o'CLOCK. It's really hard to be mad that my talking alarm clock has things to say at 6:30 when it's obvious that she's been up for a while, climbing to reach cereal boxes, cutting up strawberries, and mixing chocolate milk. She's just so HAPPY to be doing it.
I can't squish that with "let's just skip the holiday" stuff.
Nor am I going to complain that I deserve a giant to do because APPRECIATE ME, YOU WHO WAS TODDLER-SIZED AT BIRTH. It's just not my thing.
At the end of it all, we all have our reasons we celebrate holidays the way we do, and all of it is OK. The woman who can't have children and wants to ignore the day? Rock on. The other woman who has two kids and wants all of the gifts so her husband better make it happen? Good on you. Everything in between is perfect as well.
But.
BUT.
I think I did find the one way to celebrate Mother's Day that's not OK.
Part of my Mother's Day involved a run to the grocery store because this house cannot function without bananas. Ever. While I was grabbing the bananas, I swung by the deli counter for some potato salad because a serious case of the lazies has taken hold of my cooking skills. As I was waiting for my turn at the deli, the clerk was assisting the woman in front of me.
"Hi," the clerk said to the other woman. "How are you today?" she continued in a friendly voice.
The other woman shuffled her shopping basket from one hand to the other then replied, "Blessed, thank you."
OK. Being blessed is good. We'll go with that.
But then she continued with a question. She asked, "Are you a mother?"
The deli clerk looked a little unsure of what to do next. I don't know what her story is ... it's none of my business. I do know she replied back, "No, I'm not."
"Oh," said the stranger. "I'm sorry you're missing out like that."
Whether it is that deli clerk's choice to be a mother eventually, never, soon, or if it's not a choice at all, just ... NO.
So now I know there is a wrong way to celebrate Mother's Day.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Reader Comments (9)
GAH! Someone needs to pull her aside and tell her to stop that.
Ouch. That would have garnered an involuntary reply from me, it would have been out before I even knew I said it. How ignorant.
I had no idea where this story was going and just... wtf. :(
Oh my heart!! If that was me years ago I would have been rendered incapacitated by grief. Sometimes people are the worst - and they don't even realize it.
I was asked a few times on Sunday if I was a mom and the responses when I said no were fairly mild this year. I think most of us have at least a short list of off the wall and occasionally really hurtful and/or offensive comments in our experience, but this is among the worst I've heard.
I have not chosen to still be single at 33. If I had my say, the universe would have brought be me perfect man and children long before now. However, the universe doesn't listen to me, so I continue my journey anyway and I hope to get there someday.
I'm taken aback that people feel comfortable saying these things to whomever they please, with complete disregard to anyone else's feelings. The world is a strange place.
Why, WHY are people so narrow-minded? The world is such a big place, with so many different definitions and experiences. HOW HAVE PEOPLE NOT FIGURED THIS OUT?!
People are dumb. Personally, I think taking photos of your friend's kid and getting ticks is a great way to spend Mother's Day ;)
And I'm sorry her mother never taught her any manners.