Like a Dear In Headlights
Thirty-eight weeks.
It turns out THAT is the point at which I say, "Maybe?"
There have been a bunch of moments when it would have made sense for me to get it together, but the heart and the brain don't always play nice together. Instead, it took a moment that makes no damn sense at all.
First, though, a little history.
I've changed doctors a few times in the past several months. The first time it was because the practice and doctors that I really, really, REALLY liked stopped accepting UPMC insurance. They did it for all of the right reasons and I actually love that they did, but it meant I had to find a new practice.
Fine.
That place lasted exactly one appointment.
It turns out that you can comment about how I'm OLD and how there are more risks when you are OLD and blah, blah, blah, but if you say the words, "Since you waited so long," I'm done. Buh-bye. Do not pass go because YOU ARE FIRED, DOCTOR.
That leads us to the doctor number three. He's not perfect by any means, but I was tired of researching and switching and trying to figure out insurance crap, so I stuck. It took me a while to figure out what "not perfect" really meant, but it became clear a couple of months ago when I realized dude just flat out doesn't listen. He has thoughts in his head and to him those thoughts are facts no matter what I say.
Whatever.
There were some advantages to that.
But there was one thought that just kept nagging at me. Appointment after appointment, the doctor kept saying there was no reason to think the Tiny Human is misnamed and should be Rather Large Human instead. I've read this book before, so I kept thinking, "That? Is not tiny. History repeats itself, yo."
Alexis was 9 lbs 12 oz. It may be possible to trend downward, but by how much? A pound? The evidence didn't support anything more than that. I mean, I've gained 60 pounds, compared to the 65 I gained with Alexis. I look EXACTLY the same as I did with her, meaning I look like I've gained maybe 10 pounds if you see me from the back. Then I turn sideways and suddenly teens vow to never have sex again because YOWSERS. It's all belly. All of it.
And it is HEAVY.
Yet, week after week, I kept hearing things like, "Unless you've got a surprise hiding in there, this one is on the small side." The ultra-interesting part of that is that the Tiny Human has been facing sideways the entire time. There's a butt on my right and legs on my left, so you can't really tell how big anything is. Or, at least, that's what I thought.
Dr. Thoughts disagreed.
Until this week.
This week the Tiny (ha!) Human decided to shift a bit which made it a bit more possible to get a good look at width and such.
"You know that's no 7-pounder in there, right?" the doctor asked.
NO WAY. REALLY? ISN'T THAT WHAT I SAID A MONTH AGO? I didn't say it out loud. I thought it, though.
His proclamation was followed by some discussion and guessing and predicting. It's still all thoughts, but I WAS RIGHT.
And that is when it hit me. This is real. This IS happening. It's the dumbest trigger in the history of triggers, but being told that I'm right is apparently all it takes for a little reality to sink in.
Whodathunkit?
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Reader Comments (5)
I'm glad you didn't punch Dr #2 in the face for all the stupid he spewed. Pregnant ladies and jail don't mix. Hopefully being 38 weeks means you're now off work til the Not-So-Tiny Human arrives. I won't suggest you relax because I know that won't happen. ;-)
@Suzanne--Off work? Hahahahahahahaha!
Nope.
(I wish.)
If it makes you feel any better my second was smaller than my first. By about 3/4 of a pound. I was in a military hospital at the time and no one bothers to tell you how big they estimate your baby being. While I was in labor the doc on duty asked if I knew how big he was and I said no. So he decided to poke around at my belly, went silent and left the room. I just laughed about that he didn't want to break the news to me. Baby #2 only weighed in at 8 lb 13 oz. Good luck with this one, and we can still hope this ones smaller than Alexis.
I'm really happy that reality has entered your mind! :) Also, that you got rid of Dr. #2...idiot. (Which is totally not the word I wanted to use but I was worried that Alexis might read your comments.)
Oh, girl, you are so doomed. (I say that with so much love and I can't wait to see the Tiny Human because holding a newborn that is actually toddler size will be as amazing as I remember it, I'm sure.)