I Will Pay One Of You To Do It For Me
I would link to a post that explains just how terrible Alexis is and always has been at sleeping, but that would require linking to approximately half of the posts I've written in the past five years. TOO MANY CHOICES. SO MANY EXAMPLES. SO LITTLE SLEEP.
Long of the short, I'd like to punch every so-called "Sleep Expert" in the mommy/daddy buttons and then lock them in a house with Alexis for four days. She would DESTROY them and their hare-brained sleep training theories. The fact of the matter is that the kid just plain needs less sleep than most humans. She DEFINITELY needs less sleep than I do. She has used that fact to systematically destroy me every night for the entirety of her life.
Accepting my fate has led to a sort of freedom. Truly. I accept that there is no hope that she will ever sleep past 6:30, she meets those expectations, and we're all better off not going to battle over it. My one parenting regret is that I didn't figure it out when she was six months old. There are a few million battles we could have skipped if I had realized I was doomed to fail, y'know?
Recently I have even managed to find an upside to the whole thing. While parents far and wide are battling with their kids to get up early enough for school, I'm all, "HAHAHAHA! She could sleep in 20 minutes and STILL be on time for the bus!"
NEVER ACCEPT YOUR FATE. NEVER LAUGH IN THE FACE OF OTHER STRUGGLING PARENTS.
I don't know exactly why it has happened, but I know it started the night we moved Alexis' old toddler bed to the playroom. We're painting the spare bedroom where it was stashed (some posts about that painting project are coming, don't you worry), so we had to evict all of the furniture that I was hiding up there. There was space in her playroom, so blah, blah, blah, the bed was in there and she thought that it was SUPER! DUPER! FUN! that it was in there and somehow she curled up in that bed and fell asleep right in the middle of playing with a bunch of dolls.
I left her there. I'm not dumb enough to move a sleeping kid when that sleeping kid happens to be sleeping in a bed.
The next morning, Alexis slept late. Like, really late.
The next night, she moved back to her room (SUPER! DUPER! FUN! is no substitution for being surrounded by Christmas lights and stuffed animals like she is in her own bedroom). She slept late again.
And the next morning.
And the next morning.
She's on a solid week of sleeping past 6:30. In fact, this morning she slept until 9:15.
I would be ECSTATIC about this fact, but DOUBLE-YOU-TEE-EFF? She starts school on Thursday. Her bus will be at our front door at 7:25. Things are going to be very, very ugly when I have no choice but to interrupt that whole sleeping in thing that I have so desperately wanted for the past five years.
I need a nap just thinking about how ugly it's going to get.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Reader Comments (15)
Good luck!! I'm sure she'll be all smiles and ready to get up!
Vivien never sleeps past 7:30. If we put her down later than her bedtime, she's up at 5:30/6am. I believe she does it on purpose because we fool ourselves into thinking she'll sleep in. Getting up early is certainly great during school when I have to drive 40 minutes to drop her off by 8:35. It has absolutely sucked during the summer because I'm always up late because that's the only time I get to do important things like read blogs.
Normally, I'm a lurker. But I have to chime in. My daughter will be 10 in October. And she has just recently learned how to sleep in past 6. Sometimes. And I was soooo thankful when she was finally old enough to wake up and read books, quietly, until a more civilized hour. My 5 year old son started kindergarten on August 8th. On around August 3rd, he started sleeping late. Now I have to wake him in the morning, when it used to be "please, please, go try to go back to sleep, son!!!" I feel your pain!
That is just so wrong.
It kills me how every once in a while she throws you a curve ball. It's like she reminding you who is in charge.
As for waking her, I recommend start slowly. I wake Jack almost every weekday morning. It goes better when I can cuddle, talk and slowly get him started with his day. Good luck tomorrow!
I swear we are raising the same kid. And being a few years ahead of you on this sleep deprived path, know that they will ALWAYS choose a day with early appointments to sleep in, while weekends are for breaking the up-early record.
And I'll confess that on a rare occasion, I'll simpl let the boy sleep, telling the bus driver to go on. Sometimes, you just don't want to poke the beast.
Don't you love how kids screw with you just when you think you have them down? Stinker! Good luck waking her.
Wow. That is awesome (that she is sleeping not that you might have to wake her). Sabrina doesn't need much sleep either. But mommy is so mean and ugly when her sleep is interrupted that she has learned to play quietly in her room until I get up at a civilized hour (you know, after it is light). Yesterday, I had to wake her up for school. That has never happened before. She uttered words that have never passed through her lips before: Mommy, I'm tired. Can't I just go back to sleep. I was shocked. My husband didn't believe me when I told him.
Ha! That's wild, and SO perfect. Good luck waking her up for school ;)
That picture? Is a preview of how she will look as she sucks out your brains approximately 30 seconds after you wake her up. Goodluckwiththat.
HOLY CRAPPY TIMING.
Next thing you know, Maggie will start eating vegetables. Then we will be sure that the End is near.
So, how much you payin' me?
;P
p.s. I kinda can't believe she's starting school!!
Ugh...well...maybe she'll keep up the sleeping thing on the weekends? Or is that just too much to ask?
If it's any consolation...my teen never slept in late...ever..until he became a teen. So I can completely sympathize with you. The kid would stay up until midnight and still be up at 5AM asking to watch cartoons. Oy.
Alex is (and always has been) a good sleeper. He typically sleeps 10-12 hours at night and takes a 2-3 hour nap. However, I can GUARANTEE that tomorrow morning, I will have to wake him because he has his 2.5yr ped appt at 9am, and it will be the day that he wants to sleep till 10am. On days that I have NOTHING planned, he wakes at 7:30-8am (which normally would be perfectly fine *IF* I went to bed before 1am, because I only get time to myself if I stay up ridiculously late). Whenever we have shit to do early in the morning though, he's all about sleeping in. Even if I don't tell him, he somehow knows.
parenting is not for the weak!
Dude. I SO could have written this same post! At the start of the last school year, C.ooper decided to start sleeping in on Mondays. Over time, he has added Sundays as well. (And when I say 'sleeping in', I mean that he gets up at 7:15 instead of 6:30.) To compensate, B.riar, who normally sleeps until at least 7:30, has started getting up at 6:15 on Sundays - and Sundays only.
I am seriously starting to think that my kids hate me.