I Would Rather Buy Her a Pony
It has started.
The invasion.
Every year around this time, our mailbox begins to fill with evil. One after another the catalogs show up. The doll catalogs.
American Doll, My Twinn, all of them. Every day a new one.
I have a procedure for when the catalogs show up. They "accidentally" land in the garbage immediately after I find them in the mailbox. Someone, however, didn't realize just how important it is to follow the Random Rules the Woman of the House Invents.
He gave her the catalog.
When I walked into the kitchen and discovered Alexis studying the American Doll catalog, I knew we were screwed. She held it close to her face, carefully memorizing every pixel. The catalog had become her Bible and she wasn't going to put it down until she was able to recite every line of scripture.
When she finally came up for air, she grabbed my phone and took a picture.
Photo acquired, Alexis ran over to me, excitement dripping from her face. "Momma!" she said, "Can you please email this to Santa? This is what I want him to bring me," she continued.
KIDS THESE DAYS.
Also, GET OFF MY LAWN.
Anyway, a few days went by and the catalog found its way to where it should have gone in the first place. I began to initiate the Ignore It Until It Goes Away plan, figuring that we're two whole months away from Christmas. There is more than enough time for the kid to pick something less expensive and more reasonable for her "big" present.
So far, my plan is full of fail.
Last night I went to crawl into bed and found that somehow the 42-pound short person was managing to hog the entire thing. Why she wasn't in her own bed, I don't know. Ever since she got her ears pierced, she really has been much better about that whole concept. But, there she was, her go-go-gadget legs blocking half the bed, even as her Gumby arms managed to pin Mr. Husband against the edge of the other side of the bed. Wayne Szalinski was nowhere to be found, so I had to figure out how to shrink the kid back to normal size (I swear short people expand at night--it's the only explanation for how they manage to simultaneously kick you in the shins and shove their elbows down your throat while pulling your hair).
I shoved a leg this way, pushed an arm that way, and rolled the rest of her over there. She started to stir a bit, so I shoved a little faster, figuring that if she woke up, I would have an excuse to escort her to her own room. Then she started to talk in her sleep. It was a one-sided conversation, clearly a dream amplified.
"I really, really want her," she said.
"She has curly hair just like me," she continued.
"I want to name her Emmy," she whispered as she smiled in her sleep.
Damn you, American Dolls. Now you have my kid dreaming about your over-priced hunks of plastic. DAMN YOU.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Reader Comments (30)
We got two My Twinn fracking catalogs in as many days. And, fine, boys can play with dolls, too, but it's not like those catalogs even offer boy options. SO WHY DO WE GET THEM? And why are these dolls so damn popular.
And the American Girls store is a special level of hell. I still haven't forgiven my friends for dragging me there while in NYC. Level of hell.
I'm really sorry. Your husband owes you something shiny for this catastrophic event.
And I bet he's probably totally immune to the repercussions of giving her than stupid catalog.
Should have rolled the catalog up and hit him once with it first.
The Howler doesn't even play with dolls, and she wants one. And, er, ah, hell no, we ain't paying that kind of money for something that will either be ignored, or totally trashed by OPK, the Howler with scissors, or the cats. Did I say ah, Hell NO?
@Carly--Ding! Ding! Ding!
@mumple--Alexis takes crazy good care of her toys so I know she would still have the thing 15 years from now, but that still doesn't mean I'm buying her one. Ever.
Thank goodness we haven't landed on those mailing lists yet. Ugh!
Hmmmmmmmmm, let's go have a mega-sit-in at American Doll HQ! How dare they mind meld our girls into wanting these over priced hunks of plastic? It's un-American, I tell ya!!
Emily has been asking for an American girl doll, too. And ever since American Girl pulled that bullshit move with the homeless doll and I got all riled up, I am 100% anti American Girl. I had already bought her some matching doll & me jammies for her birthday, so I ran out the other day and picked up a Madame Alexander doll that is basically the same thing without the AG name on it for $24.
I'm not sure Alexis would understand this but I've started telling my kid that the thing he wants that's overpriced and oh-hell-there's-no-way-I'm-buying-that is too expensive for mommy and daddy to afford.
My kid thinks money grows on trees - along with Star Wars toys. He expresses interest in something and it appears, sometimes because of us, sometimes because of the grandparents. But when he comes to me and points out the $400 Lego Death Star my first reaction is "I'm sorry honey, that's just too expensive. Mommy and Daddy can't afford that."
So far, it's working without a lot of pouting.
So how fun would it be to mess with her dreams? I mean, could you whisper in a sleeping ear that curly haired dolls named Emmy will eat all her lima beans while she's away at preschool?
Okay, I 'm in the minority here, but I adore the American Girl Dolls! My three older girls have them and Elle is getting her first one for Christmas. We read all the books and when they get older the dolls sit on the shelf and remind me of the good old days. They will be around for the grandkids to play with!
Thant said, we do not buy the accessories and yes they are pricey, but the quality is evident when you compare them with other dolls. They put up with a lot of rough play!
I encourage you to get her the doll for Christmas...seeing the look on her face will be soooooo worth it!
Okay. Please no one hate me now!
my girls love their dolls. my mother usually buys the outfits for holidays, and i like that because we don't end up with a bunch of giant stuffed animals instead! last year santa brought rebecca for christmas. i actually had a great time saying for months, "no way! not in this house! you'd better ask santa because that is the only way you've got a chance!" and then seeing her face on christmas morning. it was pretty cool.
my son found the same catalogue and has picked a different doll he says he wants Santa to bring him. He wants one of the babies, the one with brown hair, brown eyes, and slightly olive skin (Sasha got my coloring, that describes my husband's). And, of course, the baby stuff. So he can be the Daddy.
Considering he's going to be a big brother in the spring, I might actually do it. Darn you American Girl!!!!
I must say, I love the dolls too! I read all the books when I was younger, but the dolls came out when I was a little too old for them. I was always jealous of my little sister who had one. If they were somewhat pricey then, I can only imagine how much they cost now.
How do you know she was really sleeping, and that wasn't just a command performance, for your benefit?
You're so out of luck. I hope the Fat Man comes through for her or you'll never hear the end of it.
I LOVED my daughter's American Girl things! They are beautiful dolls, and the "stuff" is gorgeous and nicely made. I was happeir with that than a ton of plastic crap from Toys R Us that all broke. I liked the stories especially, since my girl was a big reader. I'm a fan!
Alexis definitely needs one. (I'm just here to help.)
@bluzdude--Y'know, you might be on to something. You really might.
Hmm.. I don't think the American Girls are so bad. I had all of the books. I still have my doll I got when I was 11 (I'm 19) and the doll I got when they began their line for older girls. Honestly, I learned a lot of history from the books, though Alexis is a little young for them. I think they started a line for younger kinds. While the dolls might not be worth it, I think the books are.
I have two boys NO GIRLS and got these damned catalogs for years. i finally called (at least 3 times) and begged to be off their mailing list. Good luck.
I love that picture! LOVE IT!
Every one of those catalogs goes straight into the recycling before it has a chance to hit our house.
You have my sympathies
Moments like these make me happy I have a boy! :)
I made it 14 years, then this summer, American Girl attacked, with a vengeance. Diva decided right after her birthday she had to have one. I told her too late. Then she started saving up for one. We now are the proud owners of Laney. She's planning on another one for Christmas. Not sure if she'll be getting that. Then they had to go and open a new store at our mall! Only 10 minutes up the street! If that wasn't enough, we were at Costco the other day and they had the big pony that's been around for years. As Diva sat on one of the many displays she said, "I'm getting this from Santa this year." That's when I had to play the, "I have a direct line to Santa and can veto any gift ideas I deem necessary." Yeah, she is soooo not get getting a pony!
My MIL bought Morgan a brother/sister twin set of American Girl dolls; a table for them to sit at AND pj's. Morgan loves them. Of course she does. I've made it clear that Oma (yes, that's what my MIL is called.) is responsible for buying any all things American Girl doll related. I refuse...REFUSE, I say....to dish out that kind of money for a doll.
I, too, would rather buy her a pony. Hell, I'll buy her FOUR ponies if I have to.
Can you email this to Santa? Seriously? I may have just died a little...
We got an American Girl Doll catalog in the mail today.
It's been YEARS since we got one of those.
The youngest of us is 16!
and yet we still totally thumbed through it.
I mean I looked like the Molly Doll. I had to have her.
The American Girl fever hit Mag in Kindergarten when not only did her best friend already HAVE the bitty baby, but was getting the twins for Christmas...I ordered her the dang doll (the bitty baby because none of the big ones really LOOKED like her) and it's not left her side since. When I went to Chicago last year for a mommy weekend, she tore a page OUT of the magazine, circled what she wanted, and sent it with me. For her birthday last year, she got Carissa, the girl of the year who looks like her...we got the catalog in the mail this week, and she literally has it in her bed, and has all week. Some of her friends had it with them at recess last Thursday...it's going to be a LONG two months here...we are TOTALLY immersed in the world of AG. It makes her smile though, so how can we say no? They both sleep in her bed with her EVERY night, and I had to put my foot down that "Carissa" could NOT come on vacation with us.
I took her to the American Girl Fashion Show (by the Junior League) last year as of her Christmas Presents, and she stalked me ALL year to be in it this year, which she is!
It's actually a good time if you want the info, a nice lunch AND LOTS of AG dolls to win!!
the doll she took a photo of is named rebecca. therefore, i approve.
* ducking *
That catalog has been thumbed by my two year old for the last six days. And I have heard this....hourly:
new baby pease mommy? New baby for me me? Maybe. You think Maybe Mommy. so pretty mommy. mommy pretty too. baby crying. baby want me me.
I was one of those girls who desperately wanted an American Girl doll, but my mom couldn't afford to get me one (I was one of the poor kids in school; thankfully I wasn't teased or ridiculed for it!). To this day, I've never gotten over not being able to have one. And just when I could afford to get the one I wanted (Samantha) as an adult, they discontinued her!!! So now, I'm kinda peeved at American Girls, but I swore that once I have a girl and if she wanted one, I'd totally buy her one. Not because I'd be spoiling her, but because I know what it's like to want something so badly but know you couldn't get it. And I'd hate for my kids to have to know what it's like. I'd have to make her work for it, of course. X amount of chores per week, etc. Granted, this grand scheme may all fall through once I have a kid! ;)
I've had years of therapy and I still haven't quite gotten over the whole "poor girl" thing. HA!
When I was in fifth grade, I wanted an American Girls doll SO bad. We have a four year old boy but still get the catalog for whatever reason. I still look at it and sort of want it...