It Only Took Me Three Years To Figure This Out
Preschool Christmas Program.
The words strike fear in my heart. They make my head hurt. They fill my soul with dread.
Rightfully so, of course. Our very first experience with the Annual Preschool Christmas Program was something spectacularly short of stellar. When I read the post that I wrote about it, I realize that I must sprinkle glitter and optimism on everything because that crap was WAY worse than anything I said. Way, way, way, way worse.
Every year since has been annoying and frustrating and irritating. Between bobble-headed grandmas in the first row, a severe lack of food, poor timing, sardine-packed rooms, awful weather, and a general desire to beat up everyone who kept me from being able to see my kid while she was on stage, I've never quite managed to have a good time at one of the programs. Most mind-numbingly frustrating has been my complete inability to get so much as *ONE* photo of my kid on stage. Just one! It has never happened.
This year I had a plan. A good one, too.
I planned to leave work early enough to make sure I would be at the fire hall where the program would be happening the very second they opened the doors. I fully intended to be the absolute first person there so that I could tackle the best chair in the place and declare it mine. MINE!
I left work exactly as planned, dashing first to pick up Alexis from school, through the drive thru at McD's so I could shove some dinner down her throat, and then quickly home so I could let the dogs out. It all had to happen quickly if I wanted to stay on schedule.
Um, Miss Megara Madison, the Bulldog born to annoy me, has never heard of this fancy word, "schedule." She's all whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaat? You arrrrrrrre in a huuuuuurrrrryyyy? Whhhhhhyyyyy?
I have never seen any dog take so freaking long to figure out which blade of grass was most deserving of her poop. I mean, she's generally slow, but this was a whole other level of insanity, especially considering she HATES cold weather and is usually abnormally expedient this time of year. If there is snow outside, odds are I'll have to yell at her not to go in the doorway. Seriously.
All told, Miss Megara Madison, the Bulldog born to annoy me, managed to add twenty unforseen minutes to our stop at home.
Alexis and I barely made it to the fire hall before the Christmas Program start time.
There was no best chair for me to tackle. In fact, there wasn't a single chair anywhere for me to tackle. Every single seat was filled with either a body or a coat (apparently some people have invisible family members or something). Mr. Husband and I took up residence along the back of the room as I stood chatting to another mom who had gotten there too late to sit down.
That mom is a genius. A GENIUS. Just as our kids were about to go on stage, she whispered that she was just going to run up and take a few pictures from the aisle. As she said it, the clouds parted, a bright ray of light shone down on me, and the angels began to sing. I realized that she was on to something, but that there was more I could do.
People, this was our last year of the Preschool Christmas Program. I have suffered through dozens and dozens of rude people jamming their way to the front and making it impossible for little ol' passive me to get a decent photo. It was MY TURN to be one of those clueless rude people. After all, we moved to a different school district than everybody else will be at next fall. I may never see some of those parents again. It was my turn to be a jerk! Woooo!
I totally snuck up to the front of the room, sat on the floor two feet from the stage, and took all the photos that I wanted. It. Was. Marvelous.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Reader Comments (16)
Adorableness.
So cute!
Also? I was jumping for joy when I discovered Sabrina's preschool was NOT going to make me sit through something so annoying and frustrating.
Awesome.
I totally did this when my son graduated Preschool since I'd sat through plenty of those suckers without so much as a whiff of fresh air. I still didn't get great pictures but that's mostly the fault of me because I don't have a DLSR and preschoolers are FAST.
Alexis looks adorable in that photo. I've been meaning to tell you how grown up she's been looking in photos lately - I almost don't recognize her!
Crap. Make that DSLR. Grr.
@Mattie--I still didn't get *good* photos because the lighting was absolute crap, but at least I was close enough for good photos to be possible in a parallel universe. ;-)
Did you see my tweet on Sunday? "Preschool programs are a special level of hell." I didn't even take my camera this year. I shot video with the iPhone. It was hot. It was too long. I hate freaking puppet shows. It was awful. And I have two years left.
Help.
@Michelle - that pic is still lightyears better than what my point and shoot was able to do. Ah well. I have the memories in my head. :)
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! :) And she is stunning, as a cardboard winged angel!
Next year I am following your advice! I had to wait for the DVD before I could see my LO in the concert...
LOL. My little guy's last program is this morning. I can't wait, his little brother is supposed to be a star, and had a melt down over the costume yesterday.
Did you cry? I am afraid I am going to cry. In fact, I know so, because I look at all the kids and how big they've grown every year and tear up, and now my oldest is the big boy in the group, so I know I am going to cry.
Our school reserves the first row for anyone whose kid is "graduating", so even if you don't get any pics, you know you will get your chance. We can all be civil that way.
Yesterday, when picking my daughter up at daycare they had a computer set up playing a video on loop. The video was of the pre-school age kids singing christmas songs. All adorable like- and not a single crazy parent or grandparent to be found. It was the greatest christmas program ever. No scared crying crowd-shy children on stage. Just 10 silly boys and girls hamming it up for the video.
You rock!!! I never had preschool events with the kids, as they weren't in preschool. But I'll tell you that it doesn't end there. Orchestra concert last night. Vocal concert the night. Same parents you dealt with.
Good for you!! She looked adorable!
@ScullyPA--Shockingly, no tears. If I had really thought about it, there would have been.
@AJKnits--That is GENIUS! I had already said that I wished our preschool had set up a "pro" to video tape the program and just let us buy it, but that's even better.
Woo hoo! Way to let your inner rude girl shine!
Fantastic picture of a fantastic angel!
If the rest of the program was as adorable as Alexis looks, I agree - it was FANTASTIC! :)