It's a Matter of Semantics

Somehow we took a left turn at Phobiaville and a right turn at Insect City and wound up with a kid who is scared of bugs. She was not born fearing tiny things with more legs than her; it's something Alexis has learned from the people around her.

But not me.

I don't like bugs AT ALL, but unless there is a centipede crawling on my face, you won't hear me scream. I like to silently move very quickly away from bugs, all nonchalant and cool so as to not alert them that I am worthy of torture. NEVER let a bug see you sweat. It's like the universal sign for FOLLOW HER AND CRAWL ON HER AND SUCK HER BLOOD UNTIL SHE DIIIIIIES.

Anyway.

Alexis learned to be afraid of bees at school. I've worked hard to kick that little phobia to the curb, mostly because I plant a lot of perennials that attract bees. Bees are my friend.

Alexis learned to be afraid of every other insect on planet Earth from her friends in the neighborhood. If you spot her off in the distance waving her arms wildly as she screams at the top of her lungs, no worries. She's just reacting to a microscopic something or other that may or may not actually be there.

It's fantastic.

Today I was preparing to dump some sand into the giant hole in the ground when I noticed this little guy:

He/she seemed to be very near death and was just sitting on that little clump of sand, so I picked it up, thinking it was a good chance for Alexis to see a bug that wouldn't attack her face.

Knowing that only certain bugs are on the Acceptable List, I called over to Alexis, "Hey, look! I found a dragonfly!" Yes, I lie to my kid. Sometimes.

She hesitated and then came over to get a better look at the "dragonfly." She studied it carefully, oohing and aahing at how pretty it was and how it was black and gold, just like the Steelers. She calmly walked around the table where I was keeping the little bug so she could watch as I took a couple of photographs.

A few seconds later, Mr. Husband walked out of the house, glanced over at what we were doing, and said, "Oh, you found a mayfly."

Alexis replied, "No, it's a dragonfly."

I tried to shoot Mr. Husband a Shut Your Trap face, but it apparently flew right over his head as he corrected the Tiny Bugophobe. "No, that's a mayfly," he repeated.

And that was the last time I saw Alexis anywhere near the mayfly. With a scream and a shiver, she ran for the hills and never once glanced back.

There was probably a giant herd of mayflies chasing her.

Comments

[Karen]

Why am I not surprised that Mr. Daddy is a bug identifier extraordinaire? I found a dead one the other day that was black like a beetle, but had a white behiney with - I'm not even kidding - black eye spots on it. So what was that?

[mumple]

Oh, yeah. It's not called a Why chromosome for nothing, yanno. (Why as in "Why in the CD$#@ would he open his yap without thinking first?!)

[C @ Kid Things]

I do well with bugs as long as they don't have a stinger. Which is why I don't plant flowers. I run and scream like a little girl if I even see a bee in my vicinity.

[Brooke G]

My boys are terrifyed of bugs too. Grr.... they freak out when they play in the basement because of daddy-long-legs. Those are the most innocent, non-threatening kind of spider out there!!! Hopefully they will outgrow it. It is a sad day when I have to be the bug killer in our house :D

[Gacgirl]

How alike Alexis and I are. I don't mind bugs at all, it is the bee's! Hence the ripping out of the mulch in the backyard. I freak out like Alexis. I hope you can break her of that fear because as an adult, it looks a bit idiotic. :-)

[Amanda]

I am fighting the same battle, and realized why when I went to daycare and they were all shrieking and freaking out over a tiny bee in the room. I took a paper cup and caught the thing and released it outside. Since then I try to take the chance to show my daughter (who is 2.5) as many bugs as I can find and explain them to her a little. Last night she was holding cicada shells we found on a tree! I was pretty impressed. Those things are pretty ugly.

[Debbie @ Three Weddings]

My oldest two have done the bug thing. Michelangelo has pretty much grown out of it. When she was little (about Alexis' age) I put a Lady Bug on her and she freaked. My dad did the same thing with a lightening bug. It drives me crazy when they scream bloody murder like they are mortally injured and it's because there is a spider or some other bug (I know, spider's aren't technically insects.) Of course, they find great joy in teasing me with snakes, which will send me screaming like that if I actually ran into one in the "wild." Thankfully that doesn't happen too often!

On a side note, I thought it was a different looking dragonfly and have never heard of a mayfly. Dang know it all husbands!

[Lauren]

You're lucky you found ONE mayfly. They kind of take over the shores of Lake Erie every summer - I was in Port Clinton, Ohio a few years back when the mayflies were in town and I remember pulling into a gas station and you literally could not see the gas pumps because everything was COVERED in mayflies. Disgusting. Normally, unless they're flying in my face, I'm not terrified of bugs, and I'm like you, I just dislike them silently and walk away, but even these bugs creeped me out.

[hello haha narf]

i had the same type of mayfly on my back porch the other day. by the time i got back with the camera it had left. my disappointment is all gone now since you captured a much better image than i ever would have. thanks for posting it.

and i am totally sad that those other kids are negatively influencing your alexis. grrrr!

[Shelley]

Too funny...at least she looked at it for a few minutes. And you were brave to pick it up!

[Michelle (burghbaby)]

@Shelley--I had gloves on and it was sitting on a very easy to pick up clump of sand. No bravery was required. ;-)

[caramama]

I feel for Alexis and you. I have an honest to goodness, literal bug phobia. It sucks. It can be very limiting and embarrassing. In order to keep my kids from learning my fear, I try extremely hard to be calm on the outside while I freak the eff out on the inside!

I hope Alexis outgrows it. Good luck!

[Tiaras]

my son and my daughter will literally slaughter any bug that comes in their sights! (poor damn bugs) but my little one - FREAKS OUT!! I don't even know where it comes from - like she is shaking and screaming in terror over the tiniest ant ever!

[Katie in MA]

A Steelers bug? You crack me up. Now I'm picturing him with Polamalu hair!

[Jen]

A mayfly?! Does Mr. Husband watch the Science Channel by chance? If so, have you noticed that it is actually possible to fall asleep within five minutes of trying to sit through that crap?

The little girl I watch had a bug fly UP HER NOSE at the park this week. She is now traumatized and doesn't want to go to that park ever again thank you very much.

[Sports Mama]

My youngest is petrified of anything remotely resembling an insect. Thus, his nickname. Bug. :)

It's a constant struggle to keep his older brother from planting all sorts of things in his room. *sigh*