It's Crazy How Young They Start This Stuff
There are a lot of things I like to blame on my mom. I blame her for my knowledge of the phrase, "If God had wanted holes in your ears, he would have put them there." I blame her for my extreme aversion to frozen dinners (seriously, if I so much as see another TV Dinner in my lifetime, I will stop eating all together for ever and ever) (including funnel cake) (THAT is how serious I am). And I most definitely blame her for the fact that I have always hated my pin-straight hair.
While she had perfect natural waves running through her thick, black hair, I've always had not-quite-blond but not-really-brown-either baby-fine and very straight hair. Which she made me perm regularly, starting when I was in kindergarten.
Yes, indeed, I remember being 5-years old and sitting at my Aunt Susan's house as she wrapped little tiny curlers all through my mousey brown hair and then doused it in stinky chemicals. I remember her doing it again about a month later, too. You see, my hair and curl? They just don't co-exist. I can perm perm perm my hair and it'll go right on back to straight within a few months. That didn't stop my mom from forcing the curly hair issue for my whole life, but whatever. By the time I hit high school, only losers had straight hair anyway. If your bangs weren't so poofy that you could hide a birds nest inside, then you just couldn't show up for life.
And then I went to college and realized that straight hair? Is a good thing. Now I like it. Really.
But that doesn't mean I don't LOOOOOVE Alexis' curls. Because, OMG! I LOVE HER CURLS. Soooo much. I didn't expect her to keep them as she grew from a tiny baby to a crazy toddler and then on to a lively preschooler, but, they're still there. She has the most perfect, bouncy curls that ever found their way onto a kid's head. When it's humid outside? I could sit and sproing her curls for hours, which pretty much makes up for the fact that my hair ends up glued to my head, kind of like a wet dog's fur.
Alexis, on the other hand, HATES her curls. Every morning she fusses at me to make her hair straight. If she catches me scrunching her hair into curls, she rips my head off. Just last week she looked in the bathroom mirror and asked for straight hair. I told her that her curls were beautiful and she responded by bawling and crying that she wanted straight hair just like mine.
:-/
So, I concocted a plan. I looked at photos of some of her favorite celebrities and figured out who had curly hair. I planned to point out that those people looked gorgeous, curly hair and all. It was a genius plan.
Except that I blew it.
We went to see a stage production of Annie not long ago. This Annie started the show with straight hair, but when she got all dolled up for Christmas, she slapped on the curly wig. As she walked across the stage, I whispered to Alexis, "Look! She looks so pretty with curly hair!"
"She looks like a clown," Alexis replied. "It's really ugly."
She was right. Unfortunately.
When Alexis grows up and spends a fortune getting those curls straightened, let the record show that it WAS NOT MY FAULT.
She can blame my mom instead.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Reader Comments (30)
I distinctly remember my mother trying to curl my hair, accidentally burning my neck with the curling iron, and when I reacted in pain she said "it hurts to be beautiful." Lies.
We're girls. We want what hair we can't have. We just can't help it.
Oh man, my mom permed and colored my hair to death. I still have nightmares about the Great and Terrible Hair-Painting Incident of 1984! And then there's the time i spent hours getting permed, only to have her discover that she put the neutralizer on first and the whole thing was useless.
@Gina--I have TOTALLY been there. It was absolutely awful, especially because that crap smelled worse than I imagine dipping your face in manure would smell. At least manure is a natural sort of odor and not the kind that numbs your brain while killing brain cells.
One could make a case that Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Princess Tiana, and especially Belle all have curly/wavy hair. The only ones that are truly straight-haired are Mulan and Pocahontas, right?
I think that it's human nature to want something that you don't have, especially with hair.
Who ever just goes, "Hey, my hair is perfect just the way it is!"
I know I never liked my mess of black wavy hair... all I wanted was to have straight, blond hair. I think it takes a while to grow into and accept what we were born with.
The grass is always greener, you know? My sister has the most gorgeous naturally curly hair in the world and hates it. "It's such a pain" she says. Yeh, try straight hair that won't hold curl for love or money. (I'm right there with you!) I'm firmly in your camp on this one. Her hair is gorgeous. I hope she appreciates is someday.
One of my favorite things to do is sproing Jack's curls. Have your seen the back of his head? So.many.curls! I think I will cry big huge tears when he gets bigger and wants to cut all those beautiful curls off. I don't know a single boy who loves their curls =(
As for A not liking her hair, I have to say, I HATED my curls growing up. I think I was in college before I actually liked having curly hair. Hopefully it won't take her that long to appreciate her curls. At least straightening her hair is easy and not at all permanent,
That's the way it works, girl. I grew up with curls, wishing I had straight hair like my mom. My daughter has my mother's straight hair. It's a ping-pong-ball existence when it comes to women and hair.
I've had thick, curly hair all my life and I hate it. Hate. It. I would give anything for straight hair that actually does what I want it to do, which would lie flat on my head instead of poofing up and everywhere. On kids, though, the curly hair is adorable.
Alex has both. He has stick straight hair on top of his head, several curls on the back of his head at his whorl, and about 1/4" long hair on the sides & back below his whorl.
It's kind of funny. I have NO idea what his hair is going to do. Oh well, he's a boy - he'll get it cut short, I'm sure. I hope the long hair-in-your-eyes boys hairdos go away before he has any hair (and an opinion of his own).
The grass is always greener, isn't it? My friend's daughter also has beautiful curls and she's always asking for "flat hair."
I think she wants to be just like momma more than she really wants straight hair. :-) Embrace it while it lasts, my friend!
Moms perm the hair of kindergarteners? Eek! My mom refused to let me get a perm. Finally, in eighth grade she bribed me. If I got a certain number of As on my report card I could get a perm. Worst idea ever. Of course I was motivated to get all As, and of course the perm was awful - And took forever to grow out. Every time I thought it was gone, I'd get a haircut and it would bounce back out. My hair is very thick, and in my 8th grade picture, shoulder length, thick curly hair = Head that looks like it wouldn't fit through a doorway.
@C @ Kid Things--Awww, there in lies the trick. Straight hair doesn't do what it's told any more than curly hair does. For example, moving where my hair parts would require a bulldozer, a case of hair spray, some super glue, and probably some pixie dust. Even then, it would still go right back to where it has always been.
I swear sometimes we are raising the same kid (exc. mine wouldn't hug a cat or dog to save her life). I have bone straight hair, she has curly. And I love hers like you do! Not sure where it came from or how it has stayed curly this long (4.5 yr) but she says the same thing. "Why can't I have straight hair?". And she wants it long like her cousins so everytime we get it cut she says "only a trim off the top" which then brings up the issue of trying to not have it look like a mullet. Do you know how hard it is to grow curly hair long, keep bangs out of eyes and not have it look like a mullet?! I make her wear alot of headbands. Her little sister's hair is curly too so we'll see how long until that one starts whining! Trying to get both of their hair somewhat under control in the morning (as you can see) is like taming a wild beast http://caileighduffy.aboutmybaby.com/photo/6464132.
My hair is the same way- I had several perms as a kid, and seriously like THE NEXT DAY, the curls were almost gone. My hair wants to be straight. And like you, I'm finally okay with that. It's simple!
Which is why I also love Maggie's curls. We're pretty sure she'll have them for life (she gets them from Dan's mom's side, and they all still have the blond curls) and I hope she can appreciate them. We compliment them all the time, and so far she's okay with them. But like anything else- preschool-aged girls are fickle so that could change! heh
Sigh. My 9yo daughter insists that her ever-so-slightly-wavy bright blonde hair (along with her dazzling blue eyes and fair skin) makes her "ugly", and that she cannot possibly go out in public unless it is razor-straight.
A couple of weekends ago she learned to use the straightening iron on her own because my wife was away for the weekend and I "didn't know how to use it" on her (so she did it all by herself).
Ugh. I remember getting perms at a very young age. In fact, I have a kindgergarten picture... wait, I told you about this, right? My husband lovingly refers to me as a derogatory term (I'll email if necessary). It was just bad. Really bad.
Meanwhile, I'm all sorts of excited about D's curls. I LOVE them. I think he already hates them, though. He pulls them straight every chance he gets.
Having a mom with poker straight hair who didn't know what to do with a curly haired child. So she cut it....to boy length....until I could stop her in 8th grade. Good times. Great photos that will never see the light of day.
As far as I can tell every woman hates her hair. You are a confusing gender.
Relating to the previous posts, I like the dog so much better than the cat. I know you care.
@Otter--The cat will ALWAYS win in my book because she came already housebroken and fully self-sufficient. In other words, at 2-months of age, she's faaaaar ahead of 1-year old Cody. Heh.
My children don't hate their hair (yet) but OMG I am going to have to start paying Flora to get her to let me pull her hair back. She has gorgeous (stick straight) hair, but it all hangs in her face. I need her to leave the barrettes alone. Or learn to braid.
You know I straighten my hair most of the time. Mainly it's my mom's fault, too. Before she realized that I had curly hair, she would perm my hair as well. BUT! She didn't know what to do with permed/curly hair anyway. SO SHE BRUSHED MY PERMED HAIR.
Ohemgee. Nightmare hair.
I've learned to embrace my curls in the summer when I can't control them anyway mainly because the Munchkin has the best curls ever. I should email you her recent dance picture. INSANE. LY. AWESOME.
No one is happy with their hair. People have told me my whole life how lucky I am to have such thick hair. I see women with thin hair and think how great their hair looks, and how they can pretty much choose any style. My thick hair just makes me hot, gets frizzy at the slightest chance of rain, and hangs there lifeless regardless of what style I try.
It does suck that Alexis is already feeling that she isn't pretty. She is perfect and I know you tell her that. I guess we are insecure from birth?! So sad.
@Jen--"Insecure from birth" is my conclusion. I have secretly hated that her hair doesn't grow, but never once have I said it out loud. In fact, she thinks certain foods make her hair grow really fast and is forever telling me that her hair is getting "really long." Other than that? She has perfect hair. It's a fact.
Sorry to hear about the personal issues - we all have them, men included. It *is* absurd how early it starts in life. I guess that's all part of being human, but it's a sucky part, for sure.
I LOVE that picture of her with Ali!
I feel her pain. I have always wanted to sport a cute little pixie cut, but I would just end up looking like a dandelion with hips.
I bet she'll to love them eventually. I think it happens to everybody. "Work with what you've got" and all that.
AND if it's any consolation: I bet Sidney Crosby likes curls...
The life lesson here (and sorry if someone else already made this comment) is that NOBODY likes their own hair. It's because living with YOUR hair means YOU know all the problems that come with it. Won't stay in a ponytail. Won't hold a curl. Frizzes when it's humid. Not enough volume. Whatever.
If you have straight hair, there are hairstyles you cannot accomplish without a LOT of work. If you have curly hair, there are hairstyles you cannot accomplish without a LOT of work.
So the truth is, the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. She wants straight hair because she loves you, thinks you're the prettiest Mommy ever, and you can do things with your hair that she can't do with hers. And because NOBODY likes their own hair... at least not until they come to realize that other people's hair is problematic, too. At some point in her life, she will realize that she does know everything that can go wrong with her hair AND she knows how to deal with it.
/ramble
I think it's funny how (especially as kids, teenagers) we always want the opposite of what we have. I always wanted curly hair too and spent much time in my younger years with a perm. Now I wouldn't want it for NO money. I bet she'll come to love her hair someday! :)
i've had long out of control, curly, red/brown/golden hair my entire life. so hate it, hated it even more when my mum would play with it and tell me how much she loved it. just about as long as i can remember i've worn it up in a pony or bun. i only wear it down right after a shower when the curls are in top form. i do straighten my side bang every single day, i think that and my love of sleep keep me from straightening all of it every day of my life.