Please Back Away from Audrey
If there is one thing I have learned in the past few months, it's that I don't ever want to let anything happen to my car again. I mean, it wasn't at all my fault that someone decided to run a stop sign and smash it, but OMG did I pay the price for her error.
Six weeks.
SIX WEEKS.
That's how long it took to get my car back.
Apparently Audi parts are made of leprechaun poop, unicorn horns, and zombie sweat. The only way to get all three ingredients together is for a tiny fairy to walk slowly from the United States to Germany and then dispatch her minions to China to conjure up some magic. Along the way, the minions take a tour of Australia, swim to Greenland, and fly to the moon. Then, and only then, will they work with the fairy to contact Santa so he can deliver the part to the body shop.
Oh, and if the body shop thinks they have everything fixed, but then finds more damage? Expect to have to repeat the whole process. At least twice.
Seriously, there wasn't much damage at all, but it took FOR-FREAKIN-EVER for the parts to all come in. I about lost my mind waiting because I loathe driving a rental car. LOATHE. It's not that the Toyota I was driving was all that bad, it was that I constantly felt like there was a target on the thing. I really didn't want to deal with it getting scratched or dented or whatever. I was absolutely certain that it would happen, too.
Fortunately, I was wrong. Unfortunately, it turns out the target is actually on my now completely scratch-and-dent-free Audrey.
Just today, the commute from Alexis' preschool to our house involved a deer running into the road, inches from the passenger side door. Yesterday there were three turkeys hiding in the road at a blind curb. There have been groundhogs, birds, and even a cow, all vying to be the first to punch my car in the face. I haven't even had it back for a full week yet.
And then there are the humans.
Pittsburghers, why do you keep crossing the center line? And why do you insist on turning left in front of me? And is there a reason you keep tailgating me? KNOCK IT OFF.
I hate my car, but I hate it even more when she takes an extended vacation at the body shop.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Reader Comments (18)
I had a Jetta that DH wrecked 8 months after I got it (it was a lease, and I turned it back in). It took FIVE MONTHS for Progressive to get that damn thing fixed. They seriously had to have a new wiring harness HAND MADE back in Germany for my car. I always imagine an old German dude sitting by a fire meticulously working with a pile of wires around him.
I didn't have rental coverage, but luckily they felt sorry for me after a month and gave me one for free. I put over 6,000 miles on that baby!
Again with the coffe on the keyboard?!?! You.crack.me.UP! Leprechaun Poo!! HAHAHA!!
I can related to the turkeys. I think there must be a turkey call installed on our space shuttle because TWICE IN ONE DAY they flew in front of it. TWICE! ONE DAY! Or maybe it's because we live in the middle of nowhere, USA. Maybe.
That should say "coffee". Clearly, I haven't had enough of it yet...
I felt so bad for your car, but all I could picture when you talked about the deer running into the street was a scene out of the first season of Gilmore Girls. "I got hit by a deer!" "You hit a deer?" "No, a deer hit ME."
Why couldn't things happen to Mr. Husband's car, so that at least he could just ditch it and get that updgrade he's been wanting? Or is he the type that makes left turns and crossed the yellow line, causing the accidents for others?
In Texas, we have no car-hating deer, cows, birds, turkeys, or varmints. So you should totally move here. (Right after I teach everyone how to drive. Ahem.)
@Karen--I have NO idea how that man manages to never have a wreck. Although, he did smash my Alero into a deer about five years ago. And that was a "he hit it" moment, totally unlike the Gilmore Girls recreations I get caught in all the time where the deer tries to hit me.
And he hasn't managed to get a different car yet because he WON'T MAKE UP HIS MIND. It might be bothering me. A little.
Last year I had a stretch with 4 accidents in a very short time. My hood was replaced 3 times in 3 months. I started to think my car was magnetic or something. I was seriously considering replacing it with an '83 Ford F-350 Super Duty pickup, just so I could be impervious to road hazards. Fortunately it seems to have passed. Knock wood.
I can't believe that I'm the only one who's going to comment on the fact that it looks like Alexis is tulle coming out of her behind. Sorry. I can't help it!
@Madame Queen... I thought the same thing. What a trick that is... pooing tulle!
My first car was a piece and it never got hit. The couple of times it did there wasn't a mark at all. Honestly my dad hit it going 20k an hour with his pick up truck (that is another story) and there was NO damage.
Right before I had Chicken I bought my first real nice vehicle. It seems that every time I park anywhere it gets smashed by the car door next to me. seriously you would think my car was half white. It makes me weep!!!
Ugh, the Pittsburgh left! I seriously want to put a big sign on the front of my car that says "I'm not from here, don't try it!"
I'm so glad Audrey is home! That was my October and November when the Forester wouldn't come home. I can't blame Subaru, though, it was ALL State Farm. Subaru made the car shiny and knew in amazing record time but I couldn't pay for the repairs until State Farm admitted fault. I hope the universe protects Audrey for you!!
ye-gads.
When we lived in the Hill Country (TX) there were deer that I swear to all that is Holy AIMED at Nathan's truck. They would sit on the side of the road and as soon as he started around a curve, they would RUN AT HIM.
YIKES lady. Poor Audrey.
{side note: LOVE Alexis' dress & tutu}
I'm so coming out there just to hit your car....
What? Did I say that out loud? Bwhaaawwahaa!
So I hit a deer last week, $4000+ worth of damage to my new-to-me car. BUT the point is I TOTALLY get the target thing. I'm driving around a rental car in a tizzy half the time worrying a rock is going to fly up and ding the car and I"m going to have to pay to fix it. Luckily I no longer have an Audi (Hallelujah the angels sing) b/c the parts are indeed made out of leprechaun poop, unicorn horns, and zombie sweat! I have a Honda now, and you know what? Its only going to take 2 weeks to fix it!! (It IS.)
I think all car parts must be from Outer Berzerkistan or something.
It took a month for me to get the bumper covers for my Outback replaced. That was all that was wrong with my car after a 4 car accident. But it took a month.
LOOK HOW PRETTY!
B- alexis looks pretty too.
i wuz talkin bout my new car
lol
xoxo