It's Not Hard To Figure Out That This Is Part One Of A Two Part Story
"If God had wanted holes in your ears, he would have put them there."
I must have heard my mother utter those words at least 1,426,069,751 times. Knowing what I know now, that means she heard me say, "Can I get my ears pierced?" at least 7,373,981,024 times. I'm sure at some point in time she stopped bothering to even answer my question, much like I no longer answer Alexis when she asks if she can get a horse. It didn't really matter because I knew the answer was (and is), "No. Never. Not a chance."
By the time I was in second grade, I was pretty much devastated about the whole thing. In my head, I was the only little girl in the entire world who wasn't wearing sparkly things in her ears. I asked and I begged and I pleaded and I made promises, but she never did back down.
Her absolute resolve against earrings served her well, right up until the very first time I got the keys to the car right after getting my driver's license on my 14th birthday. (All hail North Dakota and it's crazy early driving age!) The very first thing I did was drive to a place that I knew would pierce my ears without checking my ID. I walked into the place with my ears exactly "as God had made them" and walked out with six holes in one and three in the other.
Let that be a lesson to mothers everywhere. Failure to negotiate with Tiny Terrorists may lead to a radical act at some point in time. (Also: ZOMG am I screwed if Alexis turns out to be anything like me when she's a teenager.)
Needless to say, the whole thing went over REAL well when I got home. I think I was grounded for my entire 14th year. It didn't matter, though, because I had already won the war.
Fast forward to my college years...Those nine holes served me well. I got a part-time job at a jewelry kiosk in the mall and somehow ended up becoming a sales rock star. I was good at selling everything, but I was REALLY good at selling ear piercing. I broke sales records left and right, completely confounding my manager who wanted to strangle me every time I talked a parent out of piercing their infant's ears. It was company policy to pierce any ears that came through that little gate, but it was MY policy to do everything I could to make parents realize that piercing a baby's ears could turn out badly. If the piercings didn't get ripped out by tiny curious hands, then the kid would grow up, their ears would grow, and those piercings would wind up uneven. *I* didn't want to be responsible for any craziness, so I would send the parents elsewhere if I couldn't just talk them out of it.
I think it was that honesty and those nine holes that made people trust me. A lot. In the two years I worked there, I easily pierced 5000 ears. Somewhere I even have a a whole box of sales rewards I earned for piercing more ears than anybody else in the entire company for the month. I won it nearly every single month.
So, yeah, my mom may have told me, "If God had wanted holes in your ears, he would have put them there," but the real irony was that I was the one putting holes in people's ears. Heh.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Reader Comments (19)
Driving at 14? oh lordy.
My mom's rule was "when you turn 13 or get your period." I hit the second milestone first, and I got my ears pierced. I probably won't make my kids wait that long. Who knows though?
I am totally keeping the ear piercing thing as an easy "yes" that I can give to my little girl when she decides she wants them. I honestly had no idea that time might come so soon, though. Eek! I will however probably stick with my mom's rule of "no danglies" until she hits high school...if that's possible.
I totally let out a holy shhhhht gasp when I read this "and walked out with six holes in one and three in the other." It was the navel piercing that starred in a similar story of my own youth...the covert operation part, not the nine holes part.
I was the only girl in my elementary class without pierced ears, much to my great disappointment. I had to wait until I was in high school. But by then, I was over it.
I told my 7 year old daughter she has to wait until she is "older" but I have not decided when that will be. Maybe soon. But hopefully not. No real reason why.
My sister went behind my mom's back to get her tongue pierced. Kept it a good secret until one night she slipped. Mom didn't talk to her for at least a week. Best part was my sister was over 18 so my sister didn't need her permission. My mom's old school.
Mine with my mom was the tattoo. Then again, I didn't really need her permission because I was over 18. She found out the day my sister got married though so she couldn't really be that mad at me. Plus I'm pretty sure she actually liked my cross tattoo, just not the whole permanently on my body part....
My mom said "when you're 10". When I was 8, literally every other girl in my class had theirs pierced. Of course when I said that, my mom didn't believe me. Then she went to a parent's night and saw the truth. I got them pierced the next week haha. She did lay down the law about body piercings though, nothing until I was "paying my own bills". I did my own bellybutton (STUPID!) when I was 16 and she accidentally saw it once. Wow, was there fire in her eyes that day...
My mom got her ears pierced at the same time as me. I was in 2nd grade. I walked into Catholic school the next morning and my very old nun teacher was none too pleased to see those little gold balls in my ears. Juliana asks to get her ears "speared" every few days. I think a few more years (Scott thinks much older).
I was the weirdest teenager ever - I didn't want my ears pierced... even though my mom kept offering. But I did chop off my own hair, just because my mom said no. I was victorious!... until people started calling me a boy...
My parents separated; I got an earring.
My mom wanted her ears pierced, but she was afraid of pain. So she sent me in her place. I was 6.
I survived. :D
And mom found her courage after 5 years.
Both my boys have pierced ears. 21yo just has one ear done. 19yo gonna be an Army Ranger (basic in November) has both done.
You are so very screwed by karma girlfriend cuz your daughter is gonna be your payback. Hahahaha. I can laugh as my two 'boys' still live at home at 21 and 19.
Em started pretty early with the "I want my ears pierced, but she always clarified it with "When I'm older" because she was scared. When she finally dropped the "when I'm older" part (I guess 5 was what she considered older), I let her do it.
I can't believe you could do that! I can't even remove a splinter from my kid's finger! I could never put a hole in someone's ear.
Good point, about how forbidding our kids to do something just makes it all the more attractive. I'll have to TRY to remember that.
I can't wait to hear Part II of this story!
My mother had to wait until she moved out of the house to pierce her ears also because "If God had wanted holes in your ears, he would have put them there." However by the time I came along, not only was my grandmother okay with the ear piercing thing, she paid for me to have them done! (My, how things do change during the period between children and grandchildren.) Fast forward past eight years of infections, allowing the holes to grow back in, and repiercings, I finally had them pierced in high school at my doctor's office, but still have issues getting an earring in my right ear if I go wtihout earring for a couple of weeks.
So far, my almost four year old just asks, "Can I have earrings like you when I'm a grown up?" And I answer "Sure, when you're a grown up." Luckily she hasn't noticed that any other girls her age have them. Keeping my fingers crossed!
My mom told me I couldn't get my ears pierced until I was 5, so on my 5th birthday I rejoiced that it was time. The only problem was that my mom was at work, so I made my dad take me. My mom couldn't believe he actually did it. I think he was terrified. I apparently wasn't. It all worked out though, except I was always losing my Darth Vader studs (my favorites).
I got mine done when I was 5, so I let the girls get them done when they were 5 if they wanted. Alexis wanted hers the moment she turned 5. Ariel waited for a good bit and then got them done. Although the one ear had to be redone because the lady goofed and they weren't even. She was appalled that I would make her redo the one ear and hurt my poor baby again.
Oooooh, I can't wait to see the "after" shot! :) I told my girls I would take them when they turned 10. I just hope the Ex's fiance doesn't steal my mother-daughter moment before then!
DUDE. Is Alexis bugging you about getting her ears pierced? Out of the blue the other day, Maggie asked. I haven't even had time to figure out my thoughts on the subject yet! I told her she has to be 5. That shut her up, for now (I may change my mind, but we'll see)
14?!?!?!?!?! Eff...I am never getting on the roads in ND.
Super cute photo of Alexis.
My dad was all anti pierced ears. My parents got divorced and out of spite my mom let me get them pierced. Heh.
The story of me and my getting my ears pierced involves me, my brother, my inability to make a compelling argument for anything and his ability to make a compelling argument for everything as in...I tried to convince my parents I should get my ears pierced...failed....my brother argued on my behalf...and WON....and then argued against me just for the sake of arguing and suddenly: No ear piercings for Rougie! I mean - he was that good. Also? You should fear your daughter getting older and wiser.