The Rest of the Story
She was a freshly minted three-year old the first time she asked. Mr. Husband and I had already discussed the issue, so I had scripted my response. "You have to wait a year to get your ears pierced," I told her.
We hadn't assigned an exact age to the deed, but rather thought she should suffer through the desperate want for a full year. The only problem with our plan was that I didn't expect her to ask so soon. She caught me off guard, I rattled off the scripted answer, and then I had to suffer the consequences.
So, did you know that 3-year olds suck at understanding the concept of time? THEY DO. At least once per week I would have to answer some seemingly random question like, "Is it a year yet?" or "How long until a year?" A stranger wouldn't have known what she was talking about, but I did. Over and over and over, the kid persisted and persisted with her questioning.
When her 4th birthday rolled around, it took about 4.2 seconds for Alexis to bring up the subject of piercing her ears. I was already completely bored of the conversation, but not quite ready to cave, so I decided to make the whole thing a little more interesting and create some ways to make it all benefit me.
You want your ears pierced? Fine, you have to clean your bedroom. Every week. Without being reminded. And, yes, I will be checking under your bed.
You want your ears pierced? Fine, you have to stay out of Time Out for an entire month. And, no, you can't just lock the door on the Time Out room and expect that to count.
You want your ears pierced? Fine, you have to put away the silverware when we wash the dishes. And, yes, you do have to put it in the drawer, not the garbage can.
You want your ears pierced? Fine, you have to pick three boxes of toys to give away. And make sure the spastic talking Elmo finds his way into one of those boxes.
You want your ears pierced? Fine, you have to get yourself dressed in the morning every day for two months. And, no, you can't just wear your pajamas to school.
You want your ears pierced? Fine, you have to sleep in your own bed all night long for ten whole nights.
I wasn't surprised when she overcame many of the roadblocks, but that last one? The sleeping in her own bed thing? I fully expected to get a whole year out of that sucker. Her average over the first twelve months we lived here was something like . . . um . . . oh, yeah. You can't divide zero by anything without the universe imploding, so it was something like OHMYGAHSHENEVERSLEEPSINHEROWNBED%.
Once the challenge had been issued, it took her twelve days to sleep in her own bed all night ten times. The two nights that she didn't, I can honestly say one of the grown-ups in the house was to blame. And, because I am evil, I intentionally used that whole thing where the kid can't figure out how time works against her. She actually stayed in her bed all night more like fifteen times before I finally told her she had won the war. Shhh! Don't tell her!
(If you had told me two years ago that I could win the nighttime war with a pair of sparkly earrings, I SO TOTALLY WOULD HAVE DONE IT THEN.)
So yesterday we tromped off to the mall to do the deed. Alexis quickly picked out a pair of cubic zirconia earrings and climbed up into the chair. I had already given her tons of grief that it would pinch and that she had to sit still like a statue and she had to be polite and blah, blah, blah.
She was ready.
It always amuses me to watch strangers judge the kid. The very second the woman who would do the piercing laid eyes on the kid, her face said, "She's going to chicken out."
People, if my kid says she wants to do something, she's going to do it. You can either help her, or you can get the hell out of her way because she WILL run you over. Trust me, I've learned this the hard way.
Alexis sat stiller than a statue as the woman marked where the earrings would go. She sat so still, I was starting to wonder if she was holding her breath and was about to pass out. Wouldn't that have been fun?
But, no, she was just following directions. When the kid wants something, she suddenly gains amazing listening skills. It doesn't happen nearly often enough, but it's such a beautiful thing I get a tear in my eye thinking about it. She sat perfectly still even as the first earring went in, and then again for the second. She never flinched. Not a single tear fell from her eyes. Rather, she was all smiles. (I could have sworn that crap hurt. She's obviously more willing to suffer for beauty than I am.)
The lady who pierced them kinda looked like she was going to pass out, but I think that was because she probably has never had a kid sit that perfectly for her. It probably didn't help that I'm Miss Know-It-All when it comes to piercing and totally fussed at her to do things the right way. Ahem.
Anyway, the deed is done, Alexis is happy, and Mr. Husband and I are all AAAACK! HOW THE HELL DID SHE GET TO BE OLD ENOUGH TO GET HER EARS PIERCED?
We're coping with our sorrow by enjoying the fact that we're not getting kicked in the face at night.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Reader Comments (21)
Emily was the same way - she never even flinched. I was shocked, since it was a perfect opportunity for drama.
she SO has your number.
no matter how smart you are, she's smarter. and you are in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE.
(congrats on having a kid old enough to get her ears pierced... roo and i just put second holes in our ears just a couple weeks ago!)
That kid is going to rule the world. Enjoy your authoritah while you can.
The picture of her profile is one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen...ever.
She seems to be getting more beautiful every week. Enjoy the better night's sleep!
oh you're in trouble, but you already know that! With that will power and that smile...I will say a prayer because you're going to need it. Forget your new car, start saving for hers now!
Oh my gosh, if only we knew the things that would make them cooperate in advance...like it needs to be included in an owner's manual when we have our babies...life would be so much easier. She looks beautiful with her new bling and I'm glad you are getting a better night's rest out of it too.
I KNOW I sound like a broken record but, dude....our girls are SO SO SO similar!
Translation: We MUST meet someday!
:)
I knew eventually Alexis would win. She's definitely a girly-girl and loves her shiny. In my case I got lucky. Skye literally has no earlobes. She does - they're just very, very small. For years whoever was supposed to pierce her ears would chicken out and tell her to give it another year. Finally when she was 13, she'd had enough and demanded they do the deed. (Hugs)Indigo
Man she is brave! I did it when I was 8 and it hurt like you know what! But then I've also had an epidural and lots of meds after two c-sections. Did I just compare ear peircing to child birth? Yes I did, thank you very much.
And yes, she looks so happy and WHAT A TROOPER!! :D
Oh you are so wishing that Meg wanted her ears pierced, aren't you? :)
(Alexis looks so grown-up! And beautiful! Ack! Panicking on your behalf.)
4 was the year Diva had her ears pierced also. Now she wants the second holes done. Not ready for that one yet.
Your blog reminds me that I need to take more pictures of my children. Thanks!
she's adorable. i love that you at least got some perks out of the deal! also, you totally are awesome. the comments from people who visited my little story through youa re great food for thought. i'm fully confident i'll figure it out before they are no longer needing diapers. or i won't.
YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE (in about 10 years). Stay i denial for as long as possible my friend!!!! I am so impressed by her discipline and her ability to work for her goals!!!!!
I think its in the name because my Alexis is the same way.
that second picture of her is absolutely gorgeous.
They look pretty cute! although that could be the alexis more than the earrings. :)
Such a brave girl :) And woohoo for you for figuring out how to get something for yourself out of the deal- clean room, SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED! I'm impressed!
I didn't read part one but BEST POST EVER. I think Alexis and Charlotte (Of ModernMatriarch) need to jointly breed a species of Super Awesome.
Oh my. No more growing up! Stop it!
Kudos to you (and Alexis) for going through with it all, and making it work for you (both.) I know I'm not ready for that in my house...Abby will just have to wait a bit.
That second photo - the profile shot - is amazing. I love it; I love the soft, smooth face, the partial smile, the light head tilt (at least, as the photo is oriented), and especially, that shine in her eye. Fabulous