Magic Mom

It seems that if I work late a few nights in a row, Mila will rebel. She went from mostly sleeping in her crib to HECK NO, YOU AREN'T LEAVING MY SIGHT, WOMAN. It was an instant transition that is mostly fantastic because seriously. Two-year olds. I pink puffy heart two-year olds.

Really.

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- two is one of my favorite ages. It's funny and excited and cute and curious and all of the things.

I should probably straight-up say that "confusing" belongs in that list of descriptors. Two-year olds are confusing. SO CONFUSING.

The story that I will tell that perfectly sums up Mila at age two is one that I tweeted about, but deserves a few more words. It began with a request for a snack. While Mila will put down every bit of junk food you can deliver, she can generally be distracted with fruit.

Fruit is good.

As luck would have it, the fruit bowl is currently full. I took Mila over to the bowl so she could pick something out and she decided a banana was the apple of her eye. She grabbed the banana and began trying to peel it.

And she tried.

And she tried.

It didn't go so well. After a few minutes of frustration, Mila turned to me and said, "Open it, please!" The sweetest of requests ...

So I started to peel the banana. As you do.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mila yelled. "PUT IT BACK!"

She was serious. She was all of the serious that I should put the banana back in the peel and undo everything I had done. Which, well, I don't know how to do that. I explained as much.

Mila burst into tears.

She was all of the sad as she told me to put the banana back. I tried to fake putting the peel on, but she rolled her eyes at me, called me a worthless failure, and went back to demanding that I figure out how to put the damn peel back on the damn banana, right now thankyouverymuch.

We went back and forth for several minutes. Mila kept insisting and insisting that I needed to put the banana back in its peel. I kept telling her I am not a magician and I couldn't do that. No trickery or slight of hand would work, so I figured I might as well admit that I'm a mere mortal.

She called me out on that "mortal" stuff.

"MOM DO IT."

That. That right there is the motto of two-year olds. They think mom can do everything, for better or for worse.

Comments

[Mary]

I gave my nephew a carnation when he was two. It was out of a bouquet I had gotten. He broke the head off the stem and cried when I could put it back together. I did try to tape it but that would do. It's rough being two.