Party Like it's 2001
There is something I need to admit. Word has started to get out, and I'd rather you heard the truth from me than from someone else.
I should probably start from the beginning.
Earlier in the week I had the pleasure of finally meeting one @JMWander in person. He of Pittsburgh Magazine fame is one of my writing idols, so I was pretty excited that he had agreed to stay in one place while I stalked him. I left a few minutes early for our meeting, which, if you know me, you know is sort of like The Jonas Brothers going to a strip club. It only happens in alternative universes.
It was a good thing I left early because traffic was . . . um . . . I can't really think of a description that doesn't require a whole lot of cussing. Let's just say that there's more moving and advancing and getting somewhere happening in the Heinz Field parking lot an hour before a Steelers game. It. was. awful. A drive that should have taken ten minutes took far, far longer.
As the clocked ticked and I sat not moving, I realized that I should give my writing idol a call. And that's when it struck me--I had his phone number, but not stored in my phone or written on a piece of paper. It sat out on the internet, mocking me because I couldn't get to it.
Yes, indeed, I don't have internet access on my phone. Nor do I have any sort of texting plan. If I want to send or receive a text? Ding! Pay 25 cents! While 25 cents per text can add up quick, I still can't say that there is a reason in the world for me to get a texting plan, which would be $5.
I'm not entirely sure why I even have a cell phone. I rarely use more than 60 minutes in a month.
It's true--I'm a communication device dinosaur.
Hand me the inkwell and vibrating pager, while I start the fire for the smoke signals. I have no need for your fancy smart phones and such.
Little Red. He's not much bigger than a PEZ dispenser, but he gets the job done. Or something.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Reader Comments (42)
I don't have a phone period. (It went away with the job.) Don't miss it one single bit!
My Lil Sis has that phone she hates and wants a new one. I should show her this and prove to her how cool this phone is.
I can say, I 've seen that phone. And it IS little more than the size of a Pez dispenser... I don't know how she manages to function with it.... (truth be told, the first time I saw it, at Toys R Us for the Stuff A Bus, I nearly laughed myself silly - in my own mind.... I couldn't outright laugh at my friend... meanwhile I was trying to entertain A for a sec...) True story there.
Don't worry, it will grow up to be big and strong and internet-capable someday.
@Magda--It is SO not a cool phone. I hate it with the fire of 10,000 suns. My contract is up, so I have to get a new one sometime soon. The peer pressure to get something slightly functional is powerful, but we'll see.
@pghrugbyangel--The credit for the PEZ dispenser comparison goes to Mr. Wander. He's a smart cookie, even if he did look at me like I have a horn growing out of my forehead when he saw my phone.
The boy had that phone. But he wanted something more current. hee.
But I will admit, I keep stuff a long time - if it works, it's fine. My last phone was held together by scotch tape for TWO YEARS before I got a new one. I upgraded when it started losing charge really quick, and got a new one with a touch screen and internet and all the bells & whistles just mean it doesn't stay charged any longer than the old one.
I wish my phone was on the internet, or that I didn't use it so much. Sadly I would be a lost soul without it. Constant contact is my motto.
@Gina--That's exactly how I wound up with this phone. My one before it would lose battery power in something like four hours, and the battery was being held on with scotch tape. Little Red was sort of a rash decision because I was mad that the other one was worthless.
Read this post on my phone. Commenting from my phone. The end.
Oh man am I glad I'm not the only one without internet on my phone. My coworkers (a bunch of twenty-somethings) all look at me like I'm living in a cave and ask me why not.
I guess the truth is... I'm either at home, dealing with a 3-yr old and a baby, or I'm at work dealing with patients... so I *like* to be unavailable sometimes.
I think the only reason I've ever considered getting internet on my phone is because I really suck at navigation if I'm driving somewhere unfamiliar, so it would be nice to have Google maps handy. Oh well, I just stop at gas stations the old fashioned way... lol.
As I told you yesterday morning--I'm not a betting man. But I would've put down a nice chunk of change on your being a Blackberry/iPhone/Nexus One person. After all, you have solid geek cred and plenty of frequent tweeter miles. So when I saw that, that, that, well, as I said, PEZ dispenser, I was stunned. (Sorry about being all slack-jawed and clutching my chest in horror--that was over the top.)
And speaking of over the top--"writing idol"?
@Melisa--I have a GPS in my car, so I can't even think of a reason for Google Maps. Of course, I can't trust the GPS, so I usually print out directions before I go somewhere. Funny thing, Mapquest still exists!
@JMWander--True story. The end.
Ahh the samsung juke. aka the phone joke samsung played on everyone. That thing IS a pez dispenser... until last year i didnt have interwebs on my phone, it was mobile web, but i could check weather and twitter... but i couldnt live w out texting. I text A lot!! Then I changed jobs and got introduced to a blackberry. I have a pearl flip now.... cant survive w out now.... lol
I am SO with you on this one. At a recent church event it was discovered that I was the only person in the room who had never sent a text message. The room included my MIL as well as a handful of other grannies. I use my phone for making emergency calls. (And yes, calling to order a pizza as I'm driving into town is considered an emergency.)
I've only had a cell the last couple of years. The last year it's been an iPhone, but I don't have a text package either. Internet access, though? Rocks.
I am a fellow phone-Mennonite. I didn't even get one until 2006. It is fairly capable (for a 2006 phone) but I don't use many of the functions. I only wanted the phone for emergency purposes, or for practical matters ("honey, what kind of milk did you want?")
So I have a very stripped down calling plan... 200 minutes for about $30. I rarely use more than 10 per month. The thing is, to get internet/downloading/picture emailing etc, you start putting up more and more monthly fees. All for things I MIGHT use once every other month.
I also just pay the .20 per text fee. I don't text often... usually just to meet up w/ people, or to talk about a football game while in a crowded bar or stadium.
So I live with my primitive phone and am happy with it. There is no shame.
@bluzdude--I am jealous of your 200 minute per month plan. I pay for 450 minutes because that was the least available with any carriers when I first got my PEZ dispenser.
I really, really hate cell phones. I think I'm the only person under 30 who does. They kill face-to-face conversations and they're just super annoying. I have one, begrudgingly, but I still hate them.
I was converted to the dark side by my teenager. We got a family texting plan, then I got internet and in less than 2 weeks I am getting my iPhone (altho I have wanted one for a while) It will help me to organize my life because the little scraps of paper here and there are getting to be too much for this organizationally challenged chickie
and here i thought *i* lived under a rock.
wow.
I've named my iPhone Conan. Because if I had a penis, that's what I would name it. True story.
I used to be like you. No internet access on my phone, no camera, no nothing. I rarely used my phone except to talk to hubby or maybe my mom on occassion. But then a couple years ago I upgraded. I got a Palm Pre. I got internet access. I got texting which let to unlimited texting when the teen also got a phone. Now I'm hooked. I'm spoiled. I do that annoying thing of checking my phone in the middle of meetings. And, I want a new and better phone which is coming in April. Hold out as long as you can. It only goes downhill when you start to upgrade!
No cell phone here. Just because I'm a software guy, people think I have some super-geeky phone. I always tell them that's what my computers are for. If I'm not near my regular phones, I'm not going to want to talk to you anyway, so why would I want a cell phone?
A couple jobs ago I was in danger of being required to carry a cell phone for the job. I looked the offending manager in the eye and said that I would do it, as long as I got to pick the phone ... it was going to be the one that was the lightest, when the battery was taken out. My regular manager finally got the guy to dump the idea.
I hate my phone, too, even though it's a nice one. Not a smartie phone (maybe next phone), but nice. But I hate being tied to it — and god forbid if my husband can't reach me instantly.
At the same time, I'm too anxious to NOT have one anymore, after nearly 5 years. Lose-lose!
@Karl--People look at me like I have a horn growing out of my forehead whenever they see my phone. Then they trip on their jaw when I say I don't have texting. Funny how if you work with computers, people think you must be all into everything technology related.
@red pen mama--I often go weeks on end not knowing where my phone might be located (it grows legs--I'm not actually careless with it other than to assume that if it's in my camera bag it's safe from little fingers). I really could go without completely and would only care maybe five minutes out of a month.
yikes... i have a smart phone because my life won't work right without it!
You're better off. My crackberry is the worst (and best...) thing to ever happen to me.
I can't imagine life without my iPhone. That's how I'm reading and responding to this while at work.
I work from home 95% of the time. I live in the middle of nowhere and usually stay there. I have 3 computers, 90% of the time at least two of them are on. Did I mention I'm a hermit, and I rarely go anyplace? And yet, I can hardly wait until my cell phone contract runs out so I can get a Droid phone. It's a sickness.
Your phone is cute! Who cares if you can't access the internet with it? No big deal. I kind of admire people who don't NEED their phone on them at all times...because that would be the opposite of me!
Ah the Samsung Juke. It wasthe rage 2 Xmas' ago and died a week after lol. It's time to get a new phone. What if you're in say Florida and need to look up something really quick. It would be nice to have a phone with interwebz to do so.
Basically what I'm saying is STOP Slacking and make a decision all ready! :-)
@MarkECib--The decision is being made for me. Sometimes it's a really bad idea to mention electronic anything in the presence of others. D'oh!
Up until Thanksgiving, I was still toting around my Razr. When I got the Razr...I was all AC/DC Back In Black cool. Fast forward 6 years and my teenage nephew mocked me when he saw my "ancient" phone. My husband is a geek and had upgraded his phone 4 times since we both got Razrs. But my phone did everything I needed it to do - make and receive phone calls. (We don't have a land line...just cells.) And in times of dire need, I could pay a dime to send a text. Then my husband dragged me into the present by insisting we get smart phones (HTC Heros to be exact). It is fun and cool but honestly? I don't need it. Instead of taking a book with me to doctor appointments, now I can play on my phone. And I can look something up from the road instead of looking it up on my laptop before I leave the house. Not necessary. (Which my husband says is beside the point.)
Silly lady! That is when you call your girlfriends and start screaming "OhmygodIneedyoutolooksomethingupformerightnow!" Or am I the only one who gets those calls often enough to not think they're weird?
I have a cell-and I text-mostly I get my tweets from my fave peep from twitter since I am never in front of a computer during the day. Also, the husband likes to text me-and texts are so much less intrusive in my day-with my job. I can read texts between stops. Texts take less time when you are on the go like me.
My husband and I are really upset that all the phones he likes REQUIRE an internet plan. Not suggest-require. His phone is cracked and shuts off when he is using it-but still neither of us wants to agree to the (minimum) $9.99 (plus tax) increase for him to get a phone he likes.
When I first heard of your lack of a smartphone (maybe a year ago?), I was shocked. I thought for sure you'd be one to have a Blackberry or iPhone. I held out until July and got an iPhone. Best decision ever.
I never fault people for keeping from upgrading. It's one of those things where if you don't NEED it or don't WANT it, then just don't do it.
But I'm totally addicted.
OK...you know that phone cracks me up:D It is a phone, right?
@Nap Warden--It worked just fine when I needed to hunt you down. ;-)
LOVE It!! That is hilarious!
Although I think I have you beat. I have an AT&T pay as you go phone. I went with the absolute cheapest package for a person who really has no need for a phone other than emergencies and the occasional call to hubby. But seriously, it costs me a measly $25 every THREE months if I rarely use the phone. Most of the time I need to add minutes every two months. So, for a grand total of $12.50 a month, I'm good.
I personally can't stand when people walk around shopping, having loud and LOONNNGG conversations with their friends (on the phone). It makes me feel like I am eavesdropping! I would feel like such an idiot doing that! I like the old fashioned "calls from the home phone in the privacy of my own home!"
Oh and obviously my little "go phone" doesn't have internet access either!