She's So Mean

"Is that your car with the 'Baby on Board' sign on it?" he asked.

"Ummmm...no," I replied.

"Oh, good," he continued. "I would have had to make fun of you if it was."

"If I were to have something on that on my car, it would be more of a warning for others to keep their distance for their own safety," I said.

"Sure. You're always saying things like that, but she's probably a really sweet baby," he retorted.

"If ever there was a baby who should come with a cautionary statement, it's Mila," I said.

"I bet she's sweet," he argued.

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I've had conversations like that one countless times. I say that Mila is mean and people don't believe me.

You guys.

SHE IS MEAN.

Last night, Miss Mila kept sticking crayons in her mouth like they were cigarettes. I kept telling her to take them out of her mouth. With a smirk, she would, but then she would throw them across the room. When I told her to pick them up, she would smirk again and then start the cycle all over again. All the while, I was giving her the Mom Glare.

My Mom Glare is top notch, I'll have you know. It may not work on Mila, but it's so effective that when Alexis walked into the room part way through the crayon shenanigans, she burst into tears because she saw the Mom Glare and thought she was the one who was in trouble.

Mila doesn't care.

Because she's mean.

Before you try to argue with me that those sweet little toes couldn't possibly belong to a mean child, I think you should know that when I walked into daycare today, Mila was beating another kid over the head with a toy.

Really.

She. Is. Mean.