Some Forms of Torture Are Fun
There is a part of me that thinks petting zoos are terribly cruel, but there's an even bigger part of me that says LOOK! BABY PIGGY!
So, yeah. petting zoo. It was all part of a day at the pumpkin patch, aka Trax, aka a giant black hole of money suck but ZOMG absolutely worth it because SO. MUCH. FUN. We headed there Sunday during the Steelers game, knowing full well that most of Pittsburgh would be watching the game and therefore staying out of my way.
(BTW, Pittsburgh, portable TVs are magical. Just ask everyone who asked my husband what the score was as he didn't miss the game at all.) (Now that I've given you this idea, be sure to stay out of my way when I'm running around on Sundays, please and thank you.)
I walked into the petting zoo with Alexis, fully expecting to get about a zillion super adorable kid-with-animal photos. Instead, I got to see the Greatest Show On Earth.
It started with a high-pitched scream. Then she started flapping her arms faster than a hummingbird. As I waited for her to take flight, Alexis' face started to turn red, and her eyes started shooting terror and tears. Finally, she made like a bear and started to climb me...higher and higher, a panic-stricken look in her eyes.
It probably shouldn't have been the funniest thing I've ever seen, but, well, Exhibit A:
September 5, 2010. Alexis petting a goat. Alexis HAPPILY petting a goat.
On October 24, 2010, Alexis decided that goats were tiny terrorist-eating monsters full of evil and horror. The screams! The tears! I swear her head popped off her body, exploded, and then ran away. It was as if she had been forced to watch Justin Bieber get his head shaved. She. Was. Horrified.
It was fantastic.
And now I'm going to have to start threatening to buy a pet goat any time Alexis won't cooperate.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Reader Comments (13)
And totally taking a video camera with you to said events with goats, because that is golden blackmail material for when she gets older. Errrr....I mean priceless family moments you will want to relive again and again and possibly with some of your readers.
Dude - have I taught you nothing? Fainting. Goats.
I'm with Gina. How fun would it be to hear Alexis scream, and see the goat faint?
@Gina and @Karen--I KNOW! Why haven't either of you bought a fainting goat yet? GET ON IT!
To make it plausible, you should tell her that no one wants to cut the grass, so you're going to have the goats do it.
On an unrelated note, my dad once told our neighbors that he was getting some pigs and putting them on the border of our yard and theirs. He even went out with a measuring tape and started taking measurements. Just to see the look on the neighbor's face.
First birds and now goats . . . thanks to the animal kingdom for keeping Alexis in line!
Just a tip - don't make threats if you're not willing to follow through. And when you do follow through? I'm with the others: fainting goats!
For the record, Alexis is totally correct. Having been a small child, and having been attacked by said terrorist-eating monsters of evil and horror, I can honestly say that now that I am no longer a small child (or a small anything) petting zoo goats STILL make me crazy nervous. Apparently, being chased by a very aggressive petting zoo goat and having my dad literally throw me over the fence--yes, my mother caught me--isn't enough to inspire nightmares, but it is enough to cause nervousness when faced with petting zoo goats even into adulthood.
Trust me, Alexis is RIGHT to scream and be horrified.
@mumple--But she has no reason to be scared! She wasn't last month, but this time BAM! You have an excuse. She's just a dork. ;-)
Hahahahahaha. Girls sound terribly fun to raise. My boys would have ridden that goat like a horse. There's the difference between male and female children.
Also - I get the fear of the non-fainting goat. When I was a kid, one once ate my shirt in Busch Gardens in Tampa.
My girls used to be TERRIFIED of petting zoos, or really any place where there might be an animal to pet, including the neighbors house. Now they love them. My 7 year old would give away her favorite HSM CD if she could have a chance to pet a baby piggy - her absolute favorite animal on the planet (aside from her beloved dog of course).
That's why you are such a great mom. You used this opportunity to find new ways to motivate your child. Have a happy Halloween.