Some Investment Advice
This is that moment when I remind you that Christmas Crazy is still a thing. I would super like to deliver a really giant pile of toys to Center for Victims, so go here or here and help, please!
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If you happen to be having the kind of year where you have a few dollars to invest in the stock market, I have an idea for you.
Chapstick. You should invest in Chapstick.
It's not that we are wild and crazy users of Chapstick, except that, well, Mila. Mila is a wild and crazy Chapstick user. Any time the kid comes across a happy little tube of Chapstick, she slathers it all over her entire face. I mean, it's cool. You just never know when you might end up with chapped eyebrows. She's preventing that nightmare.
The good news is that it's only Chapstick. I don't keep lipstick or anything like that in my purse or anywhere else that Mila might find it.
But Alexis does.
That right there is an entire tube of lipgloss. It's quite lovely, really, and only I can take the blame for it because that hot mess happened on my watch. Alexis could get better about leaving her stuff where Tiny can find it, but maybe I should see that Tiny has found restricted items before she gets that far with them.
So that happened Saturday morning. Mila found a tube of lube gloss, turned herself into a clown, and life went on. Life went on all the way up until Alexis asked if I had seen her pink lip gloss and WELP. I DID SEE IT. I told Alexis she could see it too, if she checked Instagram.
Alexis was mad. Still, whatever, Don't leave things out, kid.
Fast forward a few hours. A few hours later, I was doing a better job of paying attention. I was paying such close attention that I noticed Mila had gotten her hands on contraband AGAIN. It was early in the face slathering when I asked Alexis how many tubes of lip gloss she was planning to lose to her sister in one day.
Alexis immediately rolled her eyes at me. It was as if she didn't care about the lip gloss Mila was using to give herself stripes.
Because she didn't.
"That's glitter glue, mom," she replied.
It was glitter glue. Mila coated her face in lovely purple glitter glue.
I'm just going to go ahead and tape a tube of Chapstick to Mila's hand. She'll alwas be prepared to slather up her face, but maybe we can stop with slathering her face with glitter glue.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Reader Comments (1)
That is nothing short of awesome. I love that you don't get too made when Tiny does what Tiny does.