Some Things Are Worth Remembering
She won't remember that I was paralyzed with fear the first time she demonstrated that she could hold her breath until she passed out.
She won't remember that I refused to nurse in public, instead opting to hide out in fitting rooms when out and about.
She's not going to recall that time I got her head completely and hopelessly stuck in a too-small shirt and had to cut it off. The shirt. Not the head. Obviously.
She won't know that I was hugely grateful that she didn't walk until she was 13-months old or that I did absolutely nothing to encourage nor discourage her first steps.
She won't remember that time I forgot to bring snacks during an outing and she had to suffer through a long afternoon with just some terribly-not-healthy McDonald's french fries.
She won't know the number of times I have second-guessed and doubted and second-guessed again the decision to let her decide to eat meat when she wants to, rather than letting her decide to stop eating meat if she wanted to.
She won't remember how uncomfortable she was in dance class when the teacher didn't treat her as well as she deserved, or that it was my fault for not picking up on the issue sooner.
She probably won't recall that I was genuinely frustrated when she started to read at the age of 3, or how I wished she would just slow down a bit when she started really reading at 4.
She won't remember that I realized a few moments too late that she had gotten too fast and too smart for me to just prance through a corn maze and expect that she would stay within my line of vision, or how I panicked when I truly lost her for a few minutes.
But she may just remember that time she ran through the corn maze for over 30 minutes, successfully hiding and dodging and escaping me at every turn. She may just remember that she fell over in a heap of giggles several times and that she pretty much had the best. time. ever.
And even if she doesn't remember that day in the corn maze, I will.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Reader Comments (19)
You brought tears to these old eyes... Happy and sad -- but full of understanding. Hugs, honey. You're doing a great Mommy job! xoxoxo
Damn it. I mean, I'm a weepy mess today ANYWAY, but this?
I hope she remembers, too.
The tears come to many of us...
Fabulous post.
Such a sweet post. It *almost* makes me want to wake my sleeping 13-month-old and give him a big hug! :)
i love that you will always have this blog to remind her, even if her memory fades a bit she will be able to read your words and see herself through your eyes.
quite a gift, my friend. quite a gift you are giving alexis.
She may not remember these moments, but you will and you will cherish them always (okay most of them)
Yep. Made me cry too.
Beautiful post.
Kids have a wicked way of doing that to us!! Scaring the pants off of us, and enjoying every minute!! I'm glad she had such a wonderful time...but damn if you didn't make me tear up :P
It's beautiful, isn't it, the way those who truly, honestly love us always know when - and how - to come back to us. I worry more about my ability to let them go when I need to then whether they'll come back. Simply a beautiful post!!
Life will put many corn mazes in front of her that she will need your help to get through.. Those she will remember..
She may not remember those things, but she'll surely remember how loved she felt everyday.
Also, I took my two year old to that corn maze. She lead the way and got us through in less than ten minutes. That's something I'll alway remember. To let her lead the way every once in a while. :)
Fantastic post! Although I have to say your parenting fails aren't nearly as bad as mine. Some might even be considered successes like the french fries one. Thanks for sharing.
This made me cry. Beautiful.
honestly very moving, great post
What a wonderful post! She'll certainly remember how awesome her Momma was when she was a little girl.
She'll probably remember. And it's things like this that cement the mama-daughter bond. Looks like SO much fun!
Great post! She held her breath until she passed out?! When was that? I would probably pass out myself.
Such a brave girl. Be glad she won't be jumping out of planes anytime soon (unlike my son who'll be jumping out of planes in less than 6 months. At least I won't have to watch.)
This is one of my favorite posts, Michelle! Beautiful :)