Sometimes Plans Change . . . For The Better

If you had asked 14-year old me what she thought 34-year old me would be doing, she probably would have snapped her gum, twirled her over-permed hair, and muttered something about ruling the universe, or at the very least some sort of big company. Through a thick North Dakota accent, she would have laid out plans involving wealth and world travel and the single life.

Sometimes 34-year old me thinks about those plans and wonders what the hell happened. Not that I have any regrets, because I most certainly don't, it's just that I would have thought that at this point in life I would be further along my career path, debt-free, and I most certainly thought I would have figured out a cure for split ends by now. Heck, I would have thought that I would have negotiated world peace, put an end to poverty, and prevented Carrot Top from becoming the world's scariest thing with a face. I kinda aimed high, if you know what I mean.

And I still do.

Somewhere along the path of life, I figured out that I'm here to make a difference, but not in the way I originally pictured. Rather that doing it all by myself, I feel like I'm here to make sure Alexis gets a chance to do whatever it is that she decides she wants to do.

I've always thought that the kid will grow up to do something truly amazing. I still think that. My job is to stay out of her way as she finds her way there. It's like I'm the bumper pads at the bowling alley, not really interfering with the ball, but making sure it keeps headed in the general direction of that strike.

This kid. She's going to do some amazing things.

When I think about 14-year old me, I realize just how far I've come and how much I've accomplished. I mean, I grew up in a house that looked like this:

(Not our actual house, but close enough in appearance to make me look twice.)

And now I live in this:

And I can safely say I moved on up all by myself, through a lot of hard work and stubbornness and a bunch more hard work.

Now I have the privilege of seeing just how far Alexis can go.

It's going to be amazing.

Comments

[Melissa]

You are awesome.

[Loukia]

It is going to be amazing! You're an amazing mom and you have a great child, you know. Big huge round of applause to you for being so driven and for making your life what you wanted. Hard work always pays off, you know. You're inspiring!

[Scott]

"The harder you work, the luckier you get" - it's a cliche, but it also happens to be completely true. This is one of my favorite posts from you ever.

[Ginger]

Girl, i've been where you're from...it's a hard place to escape...esp. mentally. To get up, get out, and rise above where so many others get stuck...
I have the same dreams for my girl(s) My son, I know he'll be okay. But my girls, I want them to flourish and realize what they CAN do in this world, and then DO it. My Maggie teaches ME almost daily about how to be a better person. I'm hoping she continues to light the world on fire, her and other girls like her. I hope they continue to remember that morals and respect are GOOD things, and their giving hearts only continue to grow. I also hope they also realize how to FIGHT and have a voice for things they believe in. Our girls are going to be great one day, you'll see...

[Ginger]

ps. and they'll totally take Rockin pictures of their kids one day (for us grandmas) because that's all they'll know!

[Kellie]

She WILL be amazing. Just like her Mama :)

[Jen]

I love the bowling analogy! I still have high hopes for myself, even though I thought I would be WAY past where I'm actually at - job wise and money wise.
And, I have really high hopes for Dylan. But, really - more than anything else, I just hope he grows up to be a good person, and to be happy.

[Lisa J.]

1 - I love this post. I was a similar 14 year old, and I'm a similar adult. I try to guide my kids in the right direction, but still give them the freedom to be who they want to be.
2 - You're 34?? Haha...you're older than me. But not by much. ;-)

[Michelle Smiles]

My 14 year old self and your 14 year old self would have likely been friends. Heck, my 21 year old self was still focused on being a high powered lawyer (heck by this age a judge), making money, traveling the world, and most definitely not getting married or having children. My 25 year old self had fallen in love with social work and as a result given up the lawyer thing and the hope of money but I still wanted to travel the world and skip the husband and kids. By 26 I had met my ex-husband and amended the plan to include a husband and *maybe* a child but I would never give up working to say home with the 1 child I was willing to have. At 37, I live in the south with my second husband and my 2 small children and am a SAHM. If I look at the big picture, I get a little bewildered about how I got here. But really it was a series of very deliberate choices and steps. And I wouldn't change any of it (except maybe the dog - he is a pain).

[Tara R.]

She is going to be fierce! Having you supporting and encouraging her, what else can Alexis be but wonderful.

[Kim Z]

Who the hell really knows what they want when they are 14? Or 18? Or 21? Or, for some of us, even in our 30s when I still thought my future was spontaneous, childless, single one (now I'm married and have a toddler).

So glad you had the self-confidence to let your life evolve into something magnificent. Congratulations for all you've accomplished and all you've gained.

[Marian]

I so understand and love what you mean in this lovely post. I never really thought I wanted to have kids until sometime in my 30's when I realized I wanted my life to be about something more. And now it is SO MUCH MORE. So much!

As a side note, I grew up in rural northwestern PA and went to Pitt because it was the Big City... my 14-year-old self just wanted to go to a city. If NYC wasn't practical, Pittsburgh was. I did all my growing up there! well, I guess I'm still growing up, but you know what I mean.

[Angela]

I grew up in a house that looked like that as well, only mine was bright blue *gag*!

I now live in a 3,000 sq ft cedar log home that I rent but am closing on my first house tomorrow! Thrilled!

And I have to agree with @Melissa above. You are awesome!

[SWF_Terra]

That little peanut of yours is a lucky little gal. And she <i>will</i> do great things. She's got plenty of inspriration at home to guide her.

[The Mommy]

I love success stories. :)

[Katie in MA]

I. love. this. post. Alexis is going to read this one day, burst into tears, and fling her arms around you because she knows she has the best momma ever.

[caramama]

I agree with the others: You are awesome!

This post reminds me of something my dad would write. My dad has always said that he just wants his kids to do better in life than he did. And he did pretty well for himself, with a lot of hard work. He instilled the same in us: the desire to do well in life, the hard work ethic to get there, and the hope that our kids will do even better than we are.

[Elaine]

Yes it is. Thanks for sharing it all with us. Her future is WIDE open... :)

[Jen]

oh you know I can relate :)

[Otter]

Good for you! And you have a great perspective on how to help Alexis reach her goals. I started life in a trailer much like that if only for about 5 years. I haven't quite made it to the two story mansion yet though. Keep hope alive right?

[domestic extraordinaire]

This story was full awesomeness because of you.


Also, I call dibbs on Alexis's guest house.

[FireMom]

You make me weepy, friend.

This line:

"Somewhere along the path of life, I figured out that I'm here to make a difference, but not in the way I originally pictured."

Hits me right in the face.

Yeah. I get that.