Sometimes the Photographs Say Everything That Should Be Remembered
The thing about photographs is that they tell whatever story you want them to tell. For example, this one tells the story of a little girl who was REALLY very excited that it was time to decorate a gingerbread house and a gingerbread train.
And that is a true story. She was reacting to the news that it was time to play with candy and frosting and such.
This photo appears to tell the story of a very focused little girl carefully decorating.
IT'S A LIE. There was NOTHING focused about that child at that time. She was all "blah, blah, blah, blah-bitty, blah, blah-blah, blah-bitty, blah-blah." People always tell me that the kid is cute. I always reply that it's because you can't hear her mouth going on and on when you only see her in photographs. ZOMG, HER MOUTH.
And then there's this photograph. If you look closely, you may notice that a certain short person might be a wee bit obsessed with patterns and such.
But you completely miss the part where she lost her ever-loving mind because I dared to put a orange piece after red because yellow goes after red, didn't you get the memo, you moron? Oh, and purple goes on the bottom on this side, not the top like the other side, and how could you not know that? MORON. Wait! How could you put a green one there when OBVIOUSLY red goes there? DOUBLE-MORON!
And then there's this photograph:
Red, green, red, green, red, green, red, green . . . I got that memo. I may have even started the fad when I painted her fingernails a day earlier. However, the overwhelming unseen theme of this photo is one of violence. I would like to violently scream at the douchenugget who thought red icing in a gingerbread house kit was a good idea. I'd like to violently beat that person with a giant gumdrop for tossing in some red sprinkles as well. And I'll get to that, right after I'm done ripping 17 MORE layers of skin off of my hands because CLEARLY I should have spotted the red icing and red sprinkles and ran the other way before my hands were permanently died a lovely shade of reddish pink.
I like the stories the photographs tell. They're full of Christmas Spirit, even though there are moments where I most definitely am not.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Reader Comments (16)
Moms who aren't full of Christmas spirit don't paint their cuteness' fingernails red and green. They don't even look at gingerbread houses much less dive into the redness undaunted just for the pure pleasure of seeing the kid's eyes light up. Momentary yuckness aside, I still think you're one of the best moms around. xoxo
But look at how beautiful that red icing roof covered in red sugary sprinkles looks!
Seeing these photos gets me excited for the day I can do similar things with my son ... He's only one right now, so we've got a little ways to go. Although, I hear it goes fast!! ;)
Ahh yes I remember the patterns phase. UGH. Oh and the talking only gets worse. Sorry friend. Last Thanksgiving, my son talked from San Francisco to LA. Non stop. 9 hours in a very small car. 9 HOURS.
Clearly I'm still recovering.
I laughed out loud. Multiple times.
Do you have skin like mine? That SUCKS IN all of the dye like MAD and won't release it for DAYS AND DAYS AND WASHINGS AND WASHINGS? It's super sexy.
@damama--I was ORDERED to paint her nails for Christmas. Apparently her manners are locked in her heart and she can't find the key so I'm just supposed to do her bidding, even when she doesn't say please. o_O
Oh, Michelle, you DID NOT! This mean mama would have laughed at the crocodile tears resulting from my deciding to paint my own nails but not the little tyrant's. LOL! Oh HECK no!
@damama--Oh, she got hers. Don't you worry.
Hey. Red dye will discolor your hands. Didn't you get the memo? ;)
@Flea--Oh, I got the memo. I just didn't bother to read it. ;-)
I don't know. I think we should remember ALL of it, so we don't turn into MILS who only remember their kids being perfect little angels.
@Jen--Ha! Good point!
Hmmm....CLEARLY Alexis should have given you your own gingerbread house to play with so you wouldn't disrupt the patterns and decorations on hers. I hear that method works well! ;-)
hey, at least you were allowed to help. most kids get all crazy possessive and don't let the adults assist at all with the gingerbread houses. then they don't even look like houses. but whooooooooo-weeeeeeeeeee, the kids are happy.
See? This is why I don't scrapbook. If I did, I'd write the explanations such as, "Weekend at the Lake - July 2009. We thought Nick broke his arm and drove him 30 miles to the nearest hospital in the middle of the night." Instead, I have the joy of looking back at photos going, "Huh. I wonder where we were! But BOY were we having a GREAT TIME!"
You're awesomeness, M.
Quit trying to pretend otherwise ;)
I have a pattern obsessed girl, too.
I feel you xooox
Looks like wicked fun! I used to do this with my boys. I just bought a kit so my 19yo McArmy can decorate it when he's home on Christmas leave.
Your photos always tell wonderful stories.