The Myth
There's stacks and stacks of books and miles of articles about the topic, but let me just go ahead and say it out loud -- Work/life balance is about as real as a sparkly rainbow unicorn walking across the street. It's a mythical creature that can't actually be found. I'm fully aware that things come and go, some days you do things right, but other days you screw them up. "Balance" isn't about paying the right amount of attention to the right things; it's about not letting the wrong things take over completely.
I've been toeing that line lately. Like, WOAH.
And man is Mila paying the price.
Lately, work has been extra. There's no word after "extra" because ain't nobody got time to read the long list of things about it that have been "extra." EVERYTHING has been extra. It's a lot dipped in everything drizzled with so much. I have a finite amount of patience in my well and by the time I leave work at the end of the day, it's all gone. The well is dry. There is no patience left for anyone else.
GUESS WHO REQUIRES ALL OF THE PATIENCE.
The good news is that Mila doesn't seem to notice when I just can't. She is happy to carry a one-sided conversation; sometimes she prefers it. She is perfectly willing to be exuberant in the presence of people who are ignoring her. She just flits about as happy as can be and really doesn't care if you join in on her fun or not. She often literally dances circles around me while I sit still and is totally okay with it.
Thank goodness. She's definitely the right kid who came along at the right time. She might even escape this time of extra without any major damage. Maybe.
I don't mention this so people can give advice or feel pity or anything. I mention it because I am absolutely positive there are like three people reading this right now who are all, "ME TOO" and I just want to say "I see you." You're doing fine. We all have those days, weeks, months, and years.
There's no such thing as balance. But that's okay because kids are magical little creatures even when we're mostly ignoring them.
Thursday, November 8, 2018
Reader Comments (2)
I remember a conversation I had with my Mom when I was in my late 20's. They were moving away from where we had lived for most of my life. My youngest brother was graduating from college so I joked that my parents were "leaving home".
She apologized for being a working mom and not being there for us. I was astonished! I told her that there was no reason to apologize. I couldn't remember a time when she wasn't there for us. None of her children had gone to jail. We were all employed. We turned out to be good kids/people. She said something about missing school plays etc etc etc, After pulling my other siblings into the conversation, we all assured her that she was there when it counted.
I tell you this because I get 'mom guilt'. I know it is a thing. I didn't get to have children but helped raise my brother's 5 kids. I bet when A & M look back, they will see you were there for them when it counted the most. You are a great Mom and I would hope that if I had had the privileged of having kids that I would have been half the woman that you and my mother were.
I see you.
I see you and I can relate so well. 2 1/2 years ago my daughter was in a terrible car accident. My son definitely got the "short end of the deal" as I provided care for her severe concussion, and found good counselors to help her cope with the survivors guilt. We all lost a family member we loved, but she was the one that was there. My son tells me I did just fine, but I know he didn't get all he deserved. Even at 15 he was still a magical creature who dealt with it all and loved us all no matter what.