The Nerd Can't Be Stopped
Her joy is found in words. She wraps herself in them, holds them tight, and shares their beauty with the world. Alexis spends her every waking moment talking, reading, finding joy in words.
That's my explanation for why she started talking early. It's my excuse for how she managed to teach herself to read so soon. It's why she does things like walk downstairs at midnight to tell me, "Momma, I can't sleep because when I talk my throat hurts."
Words are Alexis' security blanket.
Life has taught us all a lot about how Alexis should use her love of words. An inexperienced kindergarten teacher taught us to go with the flow. Lay low. Don't stand out. We learned that it was perfectly OK if Alexis worked on letter sounds at school while reading Charlotte's Web all by herself at home. Extra work was a burden none of us wanted to deal with ... not even occasionally.
With a new school came a fresh start. Alexis was no longer labeled as "ahead," and we left it that way. The husband and I purposely made a decision that we would let her determine the path she would travel. If she wanted to volunteer that she has known how to spell all of the words on her spelling test literally for years, so be it. If she wanted to ace the tests without any effort, that would be OK as well. No homework is really a very wonderful thing for all parties involved, and that's what we got because the work was and continues to be so simple that Alexis can finish it without giving it a thought.
We have graduated from gathering around the table to struggle through annoying homework that was created specifically to challenger her nightly to ... I don't know that Alexis has had homework yet this year. She sometimes finishes work at her after school care program, but even that is generally limited to one or two minutes.
Is she challenged by school? No.
Do we care? HELL NO.
Alexis spends so much of her spare time wrapping herself in words that it really doesn't matter. She finishes chapter books weekly and continues to read well above her grade level. She creates her own challenges and it's perfect. Absolutely perfect.
But then one night she came bounding over to me, demanding that I check my email. "Momma, there's a permission slip I need to take to school tomorrow!" she reported.
She was correct - there was a permission slip waiting in my inbox. I opened the email and read the details of a voluntary - NOT REQUIRED - not graded - OPTIONAL assignment.
Alexis wanted to do it. She wanted to assign herself a major project to be done outside of school hours so badly she was vibrating from the excitement of it all. "Momma! Please! Pretty please! I want to do a project on electricity!" she nagged and nagged and nagged.
That no nightly homework thing she was fun while it lasted. I guess nerdy kids find their destiny no matter what you do.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Reader Comments (8)
she is a pretty fantastic kid. i hope she rocks the electricity project. without, ya know, hurting anything or anyone!
I am a nerd, married to a nerd, and raising 4 more. It's sometimes tough to just...let them be. Our Youngest Boy was immediately assigned to the "enrichment" (gifted) program in K. Oldest Boy just got placed into the program this year (4th). Our Baby Girl maybe, should, kinda be in it (also K). But. Being a nerd can sometimes be tough, most especially when you're a girl (come on, you know it) and so I don't push. Neither did I push for the others, either (until Youngest Boy, I didn't even know what "enrichment" was!). So, we just read at home (SOOOO excited that we're about to start Charlotte's Web all together!!). And do nerdy science experiments all summer. And buy nerdy science gifts for birthdays and Christmas. (We are/were both chemists). Just remember, it's usually the nerds who the cool kids end up working for!
I love it. Nerds rule.
I'm a nerd, as is my almost college-grad daughter. She asked for Office Max gift cards for her 6th birthday.
Early on her school career we found two types of teachers: the ones who appreciated a bright student and those who didn't. The true teachers encouraged, challenged and enhanced nearly every learning experience. The others, not so much.
Actually had one teacher tell us "yeah, she's quick now, but that won't mean anything out in the real world". Luckily Kate never took that seriously; she works two jobs and goes to college full-time on a full academic scholarship and makes the Dean's List every semester. Kids will find a way to learn and expand their worlds with the help of encouraging teachers ; and despite the poor teachers.
I bet she would ace that project. Nerds rule!
I have a nerdy girl too, turns 6 next month. Her K teacher is definitely one that is not impressed by the chapter books my daughter has been reading and said if we want her to continue to expand her vocabulary, we can 'do that at home.' Yes, yes we will.
I was one of those nerdy kids. I wish someone had given me the opportunity to escape the six hours a day, five days a week, mind numbing boredom that was elementary school. People in her class know she's well ahead of them and they do or will resent her for it. She knows she's more advanced than they and does or will feel isolated because of it. Get her out of there! It's not healthy for her nor for the others. Let her do something meaningful with those school hours. If your Advanced program is nothing more than extra homework, you need another option. A faster paced class with students near her level will give her friends she can see as equals, and people who will respect and not resent her knowledge, and will stimulate not stagnate her mind. You say you're letting her decide, but kids may not know what the other options are or whether they will like them. Help her! Find good options for that 30 hours a week which are now being wasted. My salvation was Catholic school (not that I was Catholic), where the educational standards were much higher than the public school I left. (And we were poor, so that isn't necessarily a deal breaker). Have you presented her with more viable options than you wrote about here? Homeschooling, private school, advancing a grade, a different public school with a different and better Advanced program, simply going into the Fast Class as opposed to the Gifted Program (if the homework is too much for you in the Gifted ) Isn't it cruel not to care that your child is being wasted in school? "Go with the flow and don't stand out." REALLY? You want that to be how your daughter approaches the world? She's AWESOME and you want her to blend in? Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.
I, too, am a nerd. Public school never challenged me. My reading level was at least two grade levels above my peers, but I never felt isolated or resented because of it. Being ahead of your classmates doesn't automatically make you an ostracized douchebag. What's right for one kid isn't right for another. Elementary school only lasts for five years. It seems like Alexis has a love of reading and learning like I did at that age, so she'll continue to construct her own challenges. And, in my experience, that love of learning and ability to self-teach is invaluable later in life. Gifted programs don't mean much in college or beyond.