There Is More Than One Way To Be The Best Parent You Can Be
I heard the disapproving cluck, but ignored it. My eyes were buried in the messages on my phone while my ears were firmly planted next to the mouth of a certain 7-year old. She was using up all of the words, and I was taking in every one of them.
The cluck grew louder and ripped my attention from where it belonged. "Parents these days. All they do is stare at their phones and ignore their kids." The little old lady with the silver curls went on and on to the man who sat across the table. If it's possible to figure such things out by how effortlessly he ignored her, they were married and have been for many years.
I smiled to myself knowing that she was passing judgement without really having a clue. I was texting back and forth with the husband about something super important involving the little person seated from me. I am capable of carrying on a text conversation while still listening to the high-pitched excitement only a 7-year old can deliver. I knew Alexis was positive I was listening, so all was good.
But it did make me think about how it really didn't matter what I was doing. Even if I had been playing a game on my phone or surfing the internet or whatever, that doesn't mean it was an hour wasted. It means that I have an entire world of information available at my fingertips just like *that*.
The main thing I find with that whole "the entire world is in my hands" reality is that it makes me a better parent.
Yes, it does. Really. Truly. Honestly.
I didn't figure out that some arguments with short people aren't worth having all on my own. I had the help of bloggers with kids older than mine.
I learned to not count to three, but rather to expect obedience the first time I make a request from another blogger who had already proven her theory correct. If you stop counting and start dealing repercussions the first time you ask, kids stop waiting to see if you really mean it before they comply.
I find patience in knowing that others sometimes have less-than-stellar days, but that it's all worth it if you look for the little things.
The wise words, "You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to" found their way to me via another smart woman.
I've learned patience, understanding, appreciation, and so much more from all of the people who leave their words where others can read them. I've even learned a few things about what not to do, but we won't go into details about that.
The fact of the matter is that the internet makes me a better parent. It teaches me the lessons I need to learn.
Alexis knows it. That's what matters.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Reader Comments (9)
Can you link to the counting post on that blog - i couldn't find it & would love to read it.
It's true.
Without the Internet, and the ways it has shaped and changed me not even just as a parent but as a human being, I cringe to think what my parenting might be like today -- what I might be like today.
Reading these blogs and others makes me a better parent for sure. The friendships that have grown from reading these blogs and getting to know these writers makes me a better parent for sure. And writing makes me a better parent. Knowing I need to write makes me more aware of each moment, more present with my daughter in our lives together, more willing to dig into the struggles and work through them trying to find a solution. It helps me set a higher standard for myself and my family. It makes me a better parent, a better wife, and a better person. Every single day. It rules.
Once you learn that you weren't placed on this earth to judge others, life gets a whole lot easier - lighten up little old lady!
I've learned that the vast majority (seriously, I'm thinking 99.9%) of the time we're all just doing the best we can, and our kids will turn out fine. Period. There's no point in judging each other because there's nothing of substance to judge. Really.
lots of people judge others who are using their phone for whatever reason. i kinda used to be that way. until (entirely too recently) i was with two other people trying to figure out the best place to eat and how far of a walk it would be to the different choices. a woman walked by and commented to us that we should not text each other, but simply talk since we were all right there. i laughed and asked her if she wanted to tell me which restaurant was tastier and was closer the way daddy google was helping us...and she was surprised that we were not texting. not that it was any of her business, but i wanted her to know that i try to be in the present with my friends because they are gifts to me. except then i realized that i kinda judge folks who i deem not being in the now with their friends / kids / parents / etc. so i stopped worrying about others and realized i have no clue how often they do the behavior i witness or even if the behavior is what i think it is.
so yeah. rambling in your comments again. hmmmmmmmmmm. should have just said that i know you are an excellent parent because DUH, your daughter is amazing. xoxo
I've missed reading your blog! I've been so stinking busy with work that I made myself finally stop and check in on you guys. Oh my word has your baby girl grown up. Still the fashion queen. :-) now back to reading your wonderful blog. :-) oh, I agree with this post 100%.
I've missed reading your blog! I've been so stinking busy with work that I made myself finally stop and check in on you guys. Oh my word has your baby girl grown up. Still the fashion queen. :-) now back to reading your wonderful blog. :-) oh, I agree with this post 100%.
I'm tired of judging people on their phones. What if I spent the entire day focused on my kid and I just want FIVE minutes where she's doing something by herself and so I'm sitting on a bench at the park reading while she swings? If I had an actual book instead of my kindle app on my phone would the same person be so judgey? Grrr.
And I totally agree. I wouldn't have had the great breastfeeding experience I did without the internet saving me every time I had an issue. Thank you, internet.