This Is How It Starts
I knew within moments of the doctor walking through the door that we were in trouble. As Alexis sat on the table, all scrunched up as she examined a loose thread on her sock, the newest pediatrician in the practice asked me a series of questions about Alexis' history. Every last answer could have been found in her short file, a fact which screamed at me as I was drilled about past hospitalizations and the like.
"How old was she when that happened?" the doctor asked.
"I don't have the dates in front of me, but I'm sure you do," I replied.
I wasn't trying to be disrespectful. I was genuinely dumbfounded as to how a pediatrician could walk into a room to examine a kid who hadn't been to the doctor in over eleven months without at least skimming her file. I was equally dumbfounded as to how the pediatrician had gotten into the large group practice. None of the other pediatricians had ever approached an exam so grossly unprepared.
The questions finally stopped and were replaced with interpretations of new information. "Let's see, she's just under 43 inches tall . . . that puts her in the 50th percentile," the pediatrician reported.
Not tall enough, I thought. She needs to grow another inch if she wants to ride Space Mountain next month.
"And she weighs 43 pounds . . . so the 75th percentile," she continued.
43 pounds? Soaking weight and holding a brick, maybe, I thought.
"That puts her body mass index in the obese range," the pediatrician said, averting my glare by staring at her computer.
I blinked. And blinked. And blinked. That's what I do when there is a traffic jam of words trying desperately to escape my head all at once. The madder I am, the more words get stuck and the faster I blink. At that moment I was blinking so furiously the paper on the exam table was ruffling in the wind.
SHE'S RIGHT THERE was one of the thoughts stuck in the traffic jam. As in, SHE CAN HEAR YOU and HAVE YOU SEEN HER? BECAUSE SHE'S RIGHT THERE.
None of the words made it out of my mouth. Instead, I sat there blink, blink, blink, blink, blinking.
The doctor turned to Alexis as I blinked furiously. "No more soda or sugary snacks for you, OK?" she said.
BLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINK.
"I don't like soda," Alexis said.
BLINKBLINKBLINK Yeah! You tell her, kid! BLINKBLINKBLINKBLINK.
"OK, well, make sure you stick to healthy snacks," the doctor continued.
BLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINK.
"I like carrots," my "obese" kid reported. "Carrots are healfy!"
BLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINK If you think I trained her to say that, you're wrong. BLINKBLINBKBLINKBLINKBLINK.
The doctor continued with her lecture as I blinked furiously and Alexis sat dumbfounded. The kid doesn't like junk food. She really, truly doesn't. We've never made a big deal out of it to her because, well, WOOOOHOOO! Do you know how fantastic it is having a kid who spits out Pop Tarts after one bite because they're too sweet? We don't want her to catch on to the fact that she's sort of a freak.
BLINKBLINKBLINKBLINKBLINK.
Finally, some words managed to navigate through the traffic jam and fell out of my mouth. THE WRONG WORDS.
"Have you seen her head?" I asked out loud. (This? THIS is why I blink when I'm mad. I can't be trusted to open and close my mouth.)
"What do you mean?" the doctor asked.
"The kid is a bobblehead," I . . . uh . . . clarified. (SEE! My mouth can't be trusted!)
The words are true, though. Alexis' head has always been too big for her body. It's a well-documented fact (Reason #153428 it's a good idea to read her damn file before trying to play doctor). She's a skinny, skinny kid with a big ol' square noggin bopping around on top. She's destined to keep those chubby baby cheeks for a while longer, but there isn't an ounce of baby fat left on her anywhere else. Trust me, I've tried to find some, if only so I could tell myself, "See! She's still sort of a baby!"
The doctor was still clearly confused as to what the bobblehead has to do with the kid's weight, but charged on with the appointment as I sat blinking in the corner.
This isn't a case of parental denial. Anyone with two eyes can see that the kid is NOT obese.
That pediatrician is so definitely fired.
Just as soon as I stop blinking.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Reader Comments (68)
Oh Michelle. I can't even begin to tell you how angry your twitter post made me earlier. My eye twitches, and when it does, the kids and husband know to clear out. So I understand the blink. i just posted a picture that was in my doctors office last week on fb because it made me angry. Almost for the same reasons, but I seriously have MAJOR issues with anyone looking at a CHART and telling people that their kids are obese, or at risk for being obese. My Mag doesn't drink soda, or barely even juice for that matter and is also a carrots and yogurt fan over junk food and is very HEALTHY. But according to the charts she's at "risk" Just one look at Alexis and you can see she is healthy, that there's nothing wrong with her.
Seriously, email your Pediatric Group, or call and ask to the doctor in charge of the practice. I did with mine last week over a poster they had up in their office. You can NOT tell little girls who are healthy that they are "obese" or "chubby" or at risk for it....seriously!!!! Every child is different and is NOT a number!
and ps. i really probably would have kicked her!
I really REALLY want to have something smart to say but..I just...
BLINK*BLINK*BLINK*
I can't believe you didn't just deck that doctor.
This is honestly disgusting to me, and shows just how messed up our healthcare system. I am livid for you. I would bet you money that the reason he said this is because either he, or the practice, gets some kind of perk from SOMEONE for having the kids they/he see loose x amount per month/year. He didn't take the time to get to know his patient OR her history, he didn't take the time to get to know her parent and he jumped to conclusions about her health and lifestyle without even taking a peep at the kid. Are you sure this doctor wasn't blind? He couldn't see her medical history or her lack of a weight problem?
I would call that doctors office tomorrow with some VERY strong words. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. The worst part of all of this is that he said she's obese in front of her. She may not know what that means now, but she will eventually, and then what?
OMG, how you didn't end up punching that doctor out I will never know. That is the most terrible bedside manor I have ever heard of. Now, the question is will you be writing a nasty letter, or making a phone call? :)
You have to call or write an email when you stop blinking. That is ridiculous for so many reasons I can't begin to list them but lets start with shattering a kids self esteem by calling them obese when they are perfectly healthy. No wonder girls start talking about diets at age 7.
@Melissa--That's my main issue, I think. Saying it when Alexis could hear it and without asking questions to determine how it should be addressed was inexcusable. Genetics say the kid will continue to be on the thin side for a while so implying otherwise is really setting her up for some unnecessary body issues. :-/
FURY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know how you didn't laugh in that doctor's face. I have to agree with everyone who suggested calling or writing a letter. I mean, are you freaking kidding me!? Obese!? And then to lecture your child!? Wow. I can totally appreciate your blink blink blinking, because oh my god that is one of those cases where I would either clamp my mouth shut or completely unleash the wrath of 10,000,000 killer bees on that assho... ... ...person.
Did you give Alexis a "debriefing" and try to do some damage control? Never too early to learn that doctors are neither infallible nor divinely appointed.
Negative 480 points for "doctor" with absolutely no clue about A) how to talk to a five year old B)how not be a complete moron C)his lack of IQ, EQ, any social skills. What an idiot. I would have walked out in disgust and then filed a complaint with the office manager.
I detest the freaking BMI. It's inaccurate in all sorts of ways but use it on a child is insane.
Kudos for not drop kicking the creep in the nads!!!!!!!
I totally want to punch something right now. What the hell, man? As if girls don't have enough people telling them they're fat? Especially when THEY AREN'T. Alexis is obviously not a big person. And even if she was, the doctor's behaviour would have been inappropriate. I'm sorry this happened, and I hope Alexis forgets it.
This....just....*blinks with you*
Also it makes me love my pediatrician just that much more. If I could package her up in a box and send her to kick that pediatrician I would. (Seriously I had to get a copy of the kids medical record for the school all kazillion pages and the nurse called me up and was all "Are you leaving us?! What did we do?! How can we fix it?!" and I had to be all "Uh not leaving. Just filling in people on things.")
I have to agree that you should talk to the head of the practice and let them know what happened because that's ridiculous. Totally ridiculous.
Michelle, I was at the doctor yesterday for my elder's 6 year appt. He was 42 pounds and 43 inches. Almost the same as Alexis. He's so skinny I have trouble finding pants that fit him properly (thank you, 77 kids for making ones that do!) Anyway, when I talked to the doc, he was ecstatic that the kid had managed to get that big because he's always been a slow growing skinny minnie (except for his first year). There was no mention of percentiles or anything like that. In fact, I think your doc is lying to you because when they did evaluations at school and the paper came home, I think my kid was in the 6th percentile for height and the 25th for weight. No where near "obese." I can't believe that Alexis is even remotely close to obese. She's have to be well under 40 lbs to be out of whatever stupid obese range this doctor has defined and that would make her just as scrawny as my kid was. Ridiculous!
Also, I can't believe this doctor just looked at Alexis and said "No more junk food" without asking if she actually eats it. The assumption is breathtaking. I'm really sorry that this person did that to you and to Alexis. The last thing any kid needs is a complex about body image - especially when they are JUST. FINE.
Holy crap!!! That's totally absurd and I absolutely know where you are coming from. I was told my daughter was "obese" at her 3 year old appointment. By her former pediatrician -- that was the last time we saw her. I think it bears noting that the FIRST time I met this woman was when my daughter was 2 days old was starving and needed formula.
The thing that really got to me was that she also made some off-handed remark about cutting down on junk food. I know she has a LOT of patients but with a three-year-old and a one-year-old, we had been to see here a million times. She should have known that I'm kind of insane about junk food, that we'd talked about nutrition at every visit... and she should have known that at every single well-child visit for three years, my daughter was on the same spot on the growth curve.
We are at a different practice now and I have had several discussions with her new care provider about this. I didn't want to have a maternal blindness reaction, after all -- if there was an issue that needed to be addressed I wanted to address it, and not be put off by the poor interpersonal skills of our old doctor. I have been very assured that she's perfectly healthy, and to keep practicing healthy habits! I would be happy to pass the info about the practices we've left and our new practice if you are looking.
They said the same thing to my daughter at her 3 year old checkup - at 31 inches and 31 pounds she was "obese". I looked up the chart online and started fudging numbers around - if she was 1lb less or 1 inch taller, she would have been normal.
So basically, a measurement that could easily have been off due to nurses error gets my kid labeled as obese. Why bother using that term at this age? These kids start growing in weird places at weird times until they are nearly adults. All it is doing is pulling on that little thread of doubt in a parent's head that could end up unraveling into something way more serious than a few extra pounds.
I have the same problem as you - our kid has a pumpkin head and a skinny body. I can see her ribs for pete's sake!
OK, so I get that childhood obesity is becoming an issue in our country, BUT it is beyond clear to me that Alexis is NOT obese. She eats a far more healthy diet than almost anyone I know. And really, the girl is so slender its insane.
I think the thing that infuriates me the most is the doctor really should have handled this much better. I mean, honestly she couldn't look you in the face to tell you that your child is "obese"? How about starting a conversation about what her current daily diet looks like and her activity levels? How about NOT mentioning the word obese in front of a child (and a girl especially).
It makes me so angry. You know that I have had issues with my own pediatrician over weight concerns with Xander (I am 100% convinced he ruined our nursing relationship). And in both cases, I feel like the doctors just kind of spring this crap on you to the point where you are speechless and can't respond with a rational, intelligent thought. It's not until after you leave that the thoughts come together. I really do think that you need to talk to the head of the practice and explain what happened. Alexis shouldn't have to hear that and no other little girl should either.
Oh and in the mean time, tell your kid to cut down on the lima beans. Clearly that's what's getting her into trouble ;)
You really need to call and complain, because he/she (you were very careful not to give away the sex of the doctor... why was that?) is most likely doing this to a lot of other patients. Did Alexis say anything about it when you left the office? I hope not. She is perfect and I hope she doesn't let anything make her think otherwise.
Dylan has a huge head also. Maybe that's why they are so smart? Big heads, big brains.
@mattieflap--The jeans that Alexis was wearing at the appointment were size 5s that were just the exact right length, but had the elastic waist things pulled all the way to the last slot on each side. You could tell me clothing designers don't know what they're doing (true fact, actually), but an adjustable waist pulled to the smallest setting is probably a sign that a kid is on the skinny side.
@Ted--I checked the calculators as well and noticed the same thing. One pound makes a 4% difference, so the fact that the kid was fully dressed in heavy winter clothing does make a huge difference. BMI just shouldn't be used in that way with a kid that age.
@Jen--It was a female. I didn't intentionally disguise that, but I have found it interesting that people assume male. In my head it's worse that it was a woman because she should know what can happen to girls who get mixed signals about what a healthy weight looks like.
Fun stuff first: If she has on shoes she'll totally be on Space Mountain with you!
Now, I'm ready to do some serious *blinking* on your behalf. Nothing - absolutely NOTHING - makes me angrier than the word "obese" - especially when it's based on an insignificant number as relates to a child (BMI is so screwed up I can't even BEGIN to get into it). I realize that actually BEING fat is a serious health risk but if you actually OPEN YOUR EYES AND LOOK AT YOUR PATIENT you wouldn't have said it. Did they weigh her with her shoes on? Was she wearing fancy Hannah Montana-y shoes that weigh 4 pounds?!?! Seriously, that chick needs to get her head outta her hiney and learn a thing or two about people skills!!
She should have asked what her favorite food was. Lima beans would have silenced the junk food lecture...
In August we took my daughter in for her three year check up. Her BMI indicated she was overweight or obese (I can't remember) I asked our pediatrician about it when he came into the room. As he looked at her with her ribs practically sticking out, he said, "I'm not worried" I think we either had a faulty measurement or it was her giant head throwing the weight off. My daughter, unfortunately, loves sweets but we ration them to the point where we just finished the Christmas treats a few days before Valentines day ;) My girl will never be stick thin, it just isn't in our genes. But I do what I can to ensure she eats a healthy diet. You were right to be upset with the pediatrician. Maybe take this as a teaching opportunity to gloss over the "obese" comments but to reinforce the importance of her beloved healthy diet and why that makes her so special :)
So sorry. She looks perfectly healthy to me.
We, at times, have had equally stupid doctors (including the one who at his 2 year appointment claimed he was "stunted" because he couldn't read. Yeah, because two year olds all are fans of Milton).
I also have a bobblehead. Fortunately, our pediatrician still takes head measures. And since it's been 99th percentile since birth...well, we've only had discussions about fattening him up (to include advice to switch his milk for heavy cream). He takes it into account each time. And since Sasha is also a bit tall and lean, he counts him as very underweight.
You seriously need to see the other docs in your practice and not this one.
*blink* *blink* *blink* *Does not compute*
That the doctor jumped to conclusions and started lecturing her on eating junk and drinking soda without asking questions first is unacceptable. I get that that is the case for many kids who do have weight problems (which Alexis clearly does NOT), but to just assume so is such an insult to you both.
And to suggest that she's obese IN FRONT OF HER?! So furious for you. If there was actually cause for concern, she could have A) asked questions and B) found a way to communicate with you about it that was no out loud and in front of Alexis. That being said, Alexis certainly looks to be a perfectly normal, healthy little girl to me. No way is she obese.
I'm sorry that both you had to endure that experience. I think I'd be having a little "Come to Jesus chat" (as my family calls them) with either the office manager or the doctor herself in her office. Apparently she could use a crash course in tact and how to talk to parents and their children/her patients.
I'm sure there are many other insightful things that could be said, but they're all jammed in my brain. All I can do is shake my head and blink.
I have been a size 6 my entire adult life, but have dealt with this issue as I always weigh near the high end of the 'normal' range. All the ladies in my family do, which I attribute to dense bones, seeing as my grandmother fell on icy cement at age 85 and broke nothing! I have had several BLINK moments, as doctors tell me I need to start 'watching my weight' as I'm near the high end. I finally heard it so many times I was able to react the last time, by scooping my jeans off the chair and saying 'Um, these are a size 6!!!' I'm infamous around my office as the 'healthy' eater, and the doctors have no idea that with genetics NOT on my side, a size 6 is a healthy triumph. I have enough sense to know the doctors are being ridiculous, and I'm certain Alexis will grow up knowing the same.
The Howler falls into that category...and we get a "report" from the school's screening every spring. And every year, I take the report with me to talk with her doc about it. Problem with those percentiles and blather? They do NOT take into consideration that the girl is also big boned or her family history--not an excuse, FACT. And that, while the overfed puppy belly persists, she's well proportioned, happy, and active (that 10pm jog she thinks she's going to take instead of shutting up and going to bed is NOT going to happen on a school night--obesity be dammed!) She's built remarkably like my one sister-in-law, and she's always been a "big girl."
Yes, her weight is going to be a concern as she gets older, but you can look at her and see that slimming her down to what the chart says is "healthy" is not going to be healthy for her. She's not a skinny thing--she isn't ever going to be. And I refuse to make food an issue for my daughter. There are enough bad body images out there for her without me, or her doc, adding to it. Luckily, her pede gets that about us, and we discuss it in front of her because she needs to be realisitic. She is almost 9 years old. First time her doc & I had this conversation, she was about 3, and I asked him, point blank: Does she LOOK obese to you?
Just because a person has an MD, does not mean he or she knows diddly squat about our kids.
ACK! *blink*blink*blink*
Seriously, I'm shaking with fury right now, and I don't even know you guys in real life! That is horrible.
I don't think I can add *blink* anything more constructive than anyone up above me *blink*, except that you have my full support in either emailing or calling in *blink* your complaint. Please keep us posted, and I'm so sorry you and Alexis had to be put through that.
*blink**blink*
What a STUPID, STUPID doctor.
And people wonder why eating disorders are so prevalent these days when even DOCTORS, who are supposed to know better, are putting such ridiculous "guidelines" on what is acceptable. What a complete MORON!!!!!!!
That doctor is an idiot and very lucky I wasn't in the room. She would have gotten an earful FOR SURE!!!!!
Now I'm pissed.
There's a few things going on here that make me upset. First, I think this shows that today's medical doctors need to receive more training on bedside manner and the proper way to discuss weight, particularly with children. BUT second of all, the pediatrician is pretty much wrong. I'm not an expert, but I am studying public health and it's common knowledge that BMI is not, NOT, NOT an accurate measurement of obesity in children. PARTICULARLY young children. And, neither is her weight percentile. Had she looked at Alexis's chart, I'm sure she would have been able to see that her weight percentile is consistent and THAT is what matters and that is what indicates a healthy child. Things only get concerning when there is a drastic percentile change in a small period of time.
It's really a shame that you guys had to go through that :(
@Diana--Actually, her weight percentile is slowing working its way towards "average." She started life way, way off the charts (9 lbs 12 oz will do that), and stayed that way for two years. It wasn't until she was around 3 that she started to get taller without gaining weight. So, 75th percentile is actually a victory of sorts.
Of course, you'd have to, you know, read her chart to realize that . . .
Um, does that doc know how to read a chart? I just found a BMI calculator for kids and a 5 year old girl that weighs 43 pounds and 3'7" has a BMI of 16.4 which is in the 79th percentile and AT A HEALTHY WEIGHT!
WTF?! Not only that, but if it were true, which it is NOT, that is not a conversation you have in front of the child! OMG is she trying to give little girls eating disorders!? That is just insane!
I can't really say anything that hasn't already been said so just add me to the list of already livid viewers! What a joke of a doctor. Sounds like the kind of crap I would expect to hear from a doctor in the emergency room, not a pediatrician.
I am not even sure what I'd have done - I'd like to have thought I could have asked my daughter to go sit with a nurse while I had a nice talk with the Dr but think I'd have been so furious I wouldn't have been able to calm myself enough to do that. I would be calling to complain and I would be googling that Dr's name and leaving reviews of her wondering skills all over the place. I tell my daughter daily it's not nice to hit and kick, but in this case I don't think that rule applies!!!!
I have been gearing up to read this post...and the comments the Dr made are appalling. This is the first time that this Dr saw Alexis and she had not reviewed any of the history, she walked in the room and did not engage with Alexis and instead when straight to numbers, and she made those comments in front of her with statements about what she should not be doing instead of talking to her about what she eats!!!!!!!!
She should not be allowed in an exam room with children again without some couching by a senior Dr.
I love, love, love the 4 Drs in our practice - they all recognize me and my kids when they see us in the office. Each of my kids has seen all 4 of them at some point in their lives. But for well visits I go out of my way to make sure that they always see the same Dr. My favorite thing about him - he engages directly with the kids, asking them questions and talking directly to them for the first part of the exam. And then he talks to me and asnwers questions - the last thing in the process - look at the numbers - by this point the context for those numbers is in place. I have to book the boy's appts 3-months in advance (double time slot trouble) to get that Dr. I made their April appt in January and I had one option in a 2-wk time period...the work around is worth it to guarantee continuity of care. It's the same reason I only saw my regular OB during my pregnancies instead of other Drs in the practice - he knows my history and is better prepared to react to new information and make the best decisions.
I would call and ask to speak to a head Dr and voice your concerns - ask if that is the way they think a young girl should be spoken to and what they plan to do to make sure that situation is not repeated. Grrr...I try so hard to watch any weight comments around Juliana...how could I Dr do that - completely irresponsible! OK...I better stop typing.
@Jennifer--There is one doc that we like better than the others because of how he interacts so perfectly with Alexis. Normally I would only schedule with him, but I had already canceled and rescheduled the appointment a few times so I just needed to go. Lesson learned. Don't stray from what we know is quality care.
I've been pissed about this since you first tweeted about it earlier. I cannot BELIEVE that the doc would say that while LOOKING AT YOUR CHILD. Who is clearly not even overweight, let alone obese.
Also, how about directing questions about her diet TO YOU? I am furious most of all that she started to lecture your daughter about what she eats without, you know, KNOWING WHAT SHE EATS.
It is just so insane, but the title of your post is so perfect - this IS how the attack on our daughter's self-esteem will start. With a few offhand, out-of-context comments... and it snowballs from there. Thanks for sharing this with all of us so that we can be prepared when it's our turn.
Love, Another Mother of a 50% height/75% weight girl
First of all, my Jersey would have come out strong and bitch would have had to hold my earrings while I pulled her hair in the hallway (What? I would have walked away at least!!)
In all seriousness, my child is large. I am large. My husband is large. We are not fat, nor unhealthy, but most charts would call us all "obese." At almost 5, she's 45 inches tall and probably close to 55 pounds. She eats healthier than any other kid I know (well, except your lima-bean loving freak). She eats fruits and vegetables, fish, chicken, and she gets whole dairy and nourishing traditional foods that I prepare like bone broths, homemade kefir, etc.
But she's technically "obese." I don't care. She doesn't care. I know she will grow up healthy and strong. And so help me God, if a doctor ever said ANYTHING about her weight in front of her at 5 years old, heads would roll so far, you could effing bowl with them.
Give me a break. I'm all for eating healthier, but your daughter is not obese. (of course this is not a medical opinion, just a matter of having seen tons of kids who are was bigger than her, and her looking like she falls pretty much in the median, size-wise, of every other child I've ever seen).
An "no more sugary snacks for you"?!? First of all, all things in moderation, and second of all, let's direct this at the parent, not at the child. "You might consider reducing the number of sugary snacks you give her..."
I am coming out of lurker mode. Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?!? I am completely dumbfounded by this doctor's comment. Was she fricking blind?!? Unreal. So sorry you had to deal with that.
(ps - miss you on plurk)
I don't even have kids and yet I know that the pedetrician was wrong on so many levels. I feel your apoplexy honey.
I can't accurately put into words what I would like to say, so BLINKBLINKBLINK and hopefully you know what I mean. She's a CHILD, not a SUPERMODEL. I've never met either of you in person, but based on the pictures in your flickr stream, um... there is no way this kid is obese! Not even slightly overweight. Hell, she doesn't even have a couple of vanity pounds to lose. I hate, hate, HATE those stupid body mass charts. They say I'm underweight, which I have been in the past, but weigh more now than I ever have. I'm petite and I must have the bone structure of a bird, but that's just the way it is. On the other hand, that chart says my brother is "morbidly obese" because he's 5'9" and is built like a fortress. Someone needs to shove that chart where it's not likely to ever be found. Suggestions?
I still cannot believe she said any of this in front of Alexis. It's one thing to talk about growth issues with a baby in the room- they don't understand what you're saying- but a FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL?? Good grief. Ignoring the fact that it's completely insane to begin with, if she had genuine concerns, she really should speak to you about them privately and then you could BOTH discuss it with Alexis together to help her to understand any changes that need to be made. NOT just a flippant 'NO MORE SODA AND SWEETS FOR YOU, KIDDO. SUCKER!' Makes me want to barf.
Obviously, that is all IF there was a problem with her weight and health, which there most definitely is NOT. OMG. Like you said- she is the healthiest eater I think I've ever met- she eats better than I do!!!!! ha I WISH I could get Maggie to eat like Alexis does!
I just sincerely hope that Alexis didn't take anything that dr said seriously. And you mentioned she is a new doctor in the practice... do you think it would be worth mentioning to the other doctors what happened? They may not even be aware that she does stuff like this (assuming it wasn't a momentary BRAIN FART and she does this to other kids as well) and especially since you like the other drs so much.
it just makes me so sad.
However, I love that the first thing in your head when you heard her height was that she can't ride Space Mountain yet. You are an awesome mom :)
I think at the very least a letter to the office manager or owner of the practice is in order.
As a new doctor, she needs to be taught, and the only way they're gonna know that she's screwing up is if you tell them.
@kyfirewife--I learned this morning that she's not "new," per se, but rather moved from a different office. o_O
I feel for you, it happens often at the peds nowadays esp. with girls. My good friend said her ped said the same (she lives in McMurray - maybe the same one!) and my friend and her husband are super tall people as is her daughter so the obese comments were ridiculous. All we can do (besides finding a new ped) is try to teach as much self esteem to our girls are we can so they can be confident in who they are not how they look. Sounds like you are doing great with Alexis. Makes me dread the tween and teen years.
Wow. I have no idea what I would have said. Probably nothing because I totally shut down at the doctor's office. I can't even defend myself. I can't believe that now we don't only have to worry about media teaching our kids to think they are too fat, but doctors as well. Alexis is far from obese. What was that doctor thinking? Did she not even look at her? Sorry, I should stop raving now :) Give Alexis lots of hugs from me.
I faced the same information but coming from the City of Pittsburgh Public Schools. My tall, thin (ribs and all) 6 year old is "borderline obese." Of course I yelled (no blinking for em) wondering what could possibly be wrong with the person who made this assessment. He eats NO JUNK. He returns from trick or treating to hand is candy out to the kids coming to our house. He responds to all offers of snack with "I don't eat/like that." And best of all when the dental hygienist visited kimdergarten he swore of whit chocolate chunk cholocat chip cookies because they could give you cavities. These cookies are one of the 5 things this kid eats - and only a few per week. So during my next appointment with our pediatrican I asked. Thank goodness we have our pediatricain and not this insensitive and ill-prepared physician you met with because he said at his size any wieght factors to obese. "Don't worry about it he is healthy." And I said to myself see I knew they were stupid.
Oh my god, are you kidding me?? Why are doctors telling children who are anywhere near to falling on the growth chart at all that they're obese? It's such a THING now, to obsess about weight and read about it and watch shows about it, blah blah blah, that it's making everybody behave like idiots. Even doctors apparently. How stupid.
Normally I lurk but this made me angry enough to post. Rage! Rage! Definitely complain to the practice manager. This is beyond ridiculous.
@Debbie--Our kids sound like soul-mates. Crazy healthy soulmates. ;-)
Oh NO, she DIDN'T! That's jacked up. Made worse by the fact that she said it with Alexis right there and fully capable of understanding. Our previous pediatrician told us that so long as Master J ate a generally healthy diet and didn't sit in front of a screen (tv, computer, whatever) all day that we should never worry what the "chart" says. A generally healthy diet was considered on a weekly basis, not daily, since our child sometimes eats lightly and sometimes eats like a professional football player. One would think that a doctor would know better but keep in mind that not everyone that has a degree is smart. Rectal thermometers have multiple degrees and we know where they end up :)
When I first started reading this I thought maybe Alexis had a bruies as young children who run and play often do but then I continuted to read. I'm so proud of you for standing up for your daughter! You ROCK! She obviously didn't even look at the child. I love her full little face. She is just getting taller and thinner from the pictures you have shown us on here.
I wish my body gave me something like the eye blink can't talk because I'm so ticked thing. Because the people in the waiting room would have heard me tell that Dr. off. Why she would say ANY of those things to a child as young as Alexis instead of directing thing she eats to the person who provides the meals for her is beyond me? That Dr. has no way of knowing what a persons economic status is and they might not be able to provide their children/child with organic/ or other healthier foods. Healthy foods tend to be expensive and go bad quicker than the lower cost food. That Dr is just rediculous!!!! She is the kind of Dr. that turns young girls in to havine body issues and eating disorders. I am so mad right now you would THINK I know you IRL and that y'all are family becasue I really really want to fly up there and have a little chad with that know it all Dr.!!! And trust me there would be no blinking or holding back of words with that jerk!
Sorry it just makes me angry when people pick on little kids that really have no say in what is going on in their lives. As Alexis parent/gaurdian those things should have been directed to you and then you could have told them like it is. If you wold have taken a few minutes to review her records then you know actually look at my child and see her then body compared to her adorable head then you might have a clue that she is not obese. I guarantee she eats a healthier diet than you anyday of the week. If you do not like children or know how to be kind to them then maybe you are in the wrong field. Ok.... I got distracted and have calmed down so these are not the actual words I would have said. My child might have learned a few ugly words that I would had to tell her/him not to use because they are not nice words.
Anybody can be ugly to me but you better not screw with my kid, my family's kids or my friends kids (I guess that is creepy that I consider you my friend even though we have never met IRL. )
Sorry about the rant.
Hope y'all had a better day. And if need be I will give you my cell number so I can chew the person out for being ugly to your precious baby girl.............she is toooooooooo a baby. haha
When I first started reading this I thought maybe Alexis had a bruies as young children who run and play often do but then I continuted to read. I'm so proud of you for standing up for your daughter! You ROCK! She obviously didn't even look at the child. I love her full little face. She is just getting taller and thinner from the pictures you have shown us on here.
I wish my body gave me something like the eye blink can't talk because I'm so ticked thing. Because the people in the waiting room would have heard me tell that Dr. off. Why she would say ANY of those things to a child as young as Alexis instead of directing thing she eats to the person who provides the meals for her is beyond me? That Dr. has no way of knowing what a persons economic status is and they might not be able to provide their children/child with organic/ or other healthier foods. Healthy foods tend to be expensive and go bad quicker than the lower cost food. That Dr is just rediculous!!!! She is the kind of Dr. that turns young girls in to havine body issues and eating disorders. I am so mad right now you would THINK I know you IRL and that y'all are family becasue I really really want to fly up there and have a little chad with that know it all Dr.!!! And trust me there would be no blinking or holding back of words with that jerk!
Sorry it just makes me angry when people pick on little kids that really have no say in what is going on in their lives. As Alexis parent/gaurdian those things should have been directed to you and then you could have told them like it is. If you wold have taken a few minutes to review her records then you know actually look at my child and see her then body compared to her adorable head then you might have a clue that she is not obese. I guarantee she eats a healthier diet than you anyday of the week. If you do not like children or know how to be kind to them then maybe you are in the wrong field. Ok.... I got distracted and have calmed down so these are not the actual words I would have said. My child might have learned a few ugly words that I would had to tell her/him not to use because they are not nice words.
Anybody can be ugly to me but you better not screw with my kid, my family's kids or my friends kids (I guess that is creepy that I consider you my friend even though we have never met IRL. )
Sorry about the rant.
Hope y'all had a better day. And if need be I will give you my cell number so I can chew the person out for being ugly to your precious baby girl.............she is toooooooooo a baby. haha
There is no need to repost what's been said before except OH MY GOSH. I know I'm not of the healthiest weight but my last visit to my doc she explained to me how BMI is bogus--taking into account this is about adults and not children (which makes what happened to you and Alexis even worse). Technically my doctor is "obese" but she's super tall and if she was "normal" she'd actually be so skinny that she'd be unhealthy so she knows what a healthy weight for her body is and ignores the charts. She told me to ignore the charts and find what is healthy for my body; in this case, find what is healthy for Alexis & her body...and it sounds like she couldn't be a more finely tuned veggie eating machine :)