This Parenting Thing Is Hard Sometimes
It was one of those "stop and fill up the car now or really, REALLY regret it later" sort of moments, so despite my hatred for that particular gas station, I pulled in. As we crossed through the parking lot, Alexis asked if we were going to Hobby Lobby. It shares a parking lot with the gas station, but based on the disbursement of cars, it was pretty obvious. There was no going to Hobby Lobby because Hobby Lobby was closed.
Alexis was confused once she noticed the lack of cars.
"Mom, why is Hobby Lobby closed?" she asked. It was a Sunday, so the answer was pretty clear.
But the thing is, I can't half answer Alexis. If I had just said, "So people can spend time with their families," it would have led to a longer discussion about why aren't other places closed and isn't that sort of silly since they can spend time together every day of the week and blah, blah, blah. Alexis misses NOTHING. I have no doubt she would have found holes in that logic.
So, I told her the truth. I explained that the owner of the chain thinks people should worship on Sundays, not shop or work.
That gave the thoughtful one pause. It gave her pause enough for me to get out of the car and begin fueling up, but the second I returned, she was locked and loaded with more questions.
"But Daddy works Sundays," she said. She's right. He does. "So does that mean the person who owns Hobby Lobby thinks he's doing something wrong?"
"Well, yeah, I guess it sort of does," I told her.
She chewed on that for a minute. Then she broke into a million questions. Questions and questions from all over the place until somehow she landed on the fact that the private (Christian) school that she attended in kindergarten didn't allow Halloween celebrations because they considered Halloween to be "devil worshipping."
I'm not in the business of arguing with anyone's beliefs, but I found it very interesting that Alexis remembered that. "Mom, Halloween is about candy. And dressing up. THAT IS IT." She was terse in her words, which made me think she's been having that discussion with herself in her head for a while. "I don't worship the devil. I just like candy," she continued.
We talked more and more with me being very careful to say that different is not wrong. It is different. If Hobby Lobby's owner wants to close on Sundays, that's his choice.
(Thank goodness she didn't ask any specifics that would have led to how sometimes that owner imposes his beliefs on the employees because HOOBOY would that have been hard to discuss with a 7-year old. BUT ANYWAY.)
At the end of it all, I think Alexis learned a little about being more understanding when other people believe differently than she does. Or, at least I hope that's what she learned. There's not much else we can do to equip her for a world that is full of differences.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Reader Comments (3)
Parenting is hard! Trying to raise kids who can reconize differences and critically analyze from different views takes a lot of time and energy. It is worth it though. One of my kids came home from school one day and said a teacher told her that she always approached things from a different angle, I was so pleased and felt it a success!
As a nurse I had no choice but to work some Sundays when I worked full time like many in the health/public service field so it is normal for my kids. I was raised in a church that was appalled if you were not in pew every Subday. Thankfully God has a bigger perspective than some ;)
Teaching that differences exist and that they're not wrong simply because they're different is hard -- but good. And necessary.
Good job.
Sounds like you did a fantastic job addressing the issue on her age level. The "different is not wrong, different is just different" thing is hard for a lot of adults to grasp, much less kids. If you haven't already, pat yourself on the back for this one :)