Too Good to be True
If I were a writer for a reality TV show, I would want it to be a show about adopting a kitten. There are very few choices in life that carry as much risk for Major Drama as that one. In my estimation, you have a 70% chance of adopting one of Satan's spawn. Everybody has met a cat that spits venom and makes humans quake in fear of its evil, but even the worst of the worst started out cute and fuzzy.
Take, for example, my friend Barb's cat Collette. Collette was a long-haired demon beast who generally didn't care about humans, unless they happened to leave their ankles unprotected. Then she was likely to silently ninja attack the ankles by clawing, biting, and generally beating the crap out of you. Just when you figured out that she really was trying to kill you and you reached for a weapon, she would *poof* and disappear to some top secret hiding place that I could never find. Collette as a kitten was pretty much the cutest thing you ever did see, and then she went on to loudly profess her hatred for mankind for over 20 years, once again proving that evil never dies.
We've been pretty fortunate in the cat department. Prince didn't like Mr. Husband, but otherwise was friendly and well-behaved. (I might have paid him a ton of money to hate Mr. I Love All Animals.) Coal was super sweet. His only major annoying habit was that he was a litter flinger. Little dude believed in burying his crap DEEP, even if it took him all day to fling the litter all over the basement as he tried to dig a hole to China. And then there is Powder. Mostly Powder is a good cat, but he does have a touch of that Vengeful Assassin thing that a lot of cats have. Piss that cat off and he WILL get even by pissing right back. Literally. I spent an hour cleaning a laptop bag last week because apparently he is appalled by this thing where I am a working mother. His worst offense of all time involved an unauthorized by His Highness the Cat honeymoon for which he took his anger out on my wedding dress.
Oh, yes, he did.
We do not speak of that incident in detail because heads explode.
Anyway, I knew when we picked out Ali that there was a risk that she was only being cute and sweet to dupe us into adopting her. That's what they do, you know. Cats meow and purr and give you big sweet eyes in the shelter, but the second you bring them home, they start leaping from chandeliers, tearing furniture into a million pieces, and attacking every little thing that offends them. Considering cats think they're royalty, everything offends them.
And this is where I admit I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. People, Ali is good. Really good. So good that when I filled out a post-adoption survey from the shelter about her, I was forced to admit she doesn't have any really bad habits (SO FAR*KNOCKING ON WOOD*PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME REGRET SAYING THAT).
We have caught her clawing at the carpet a few times, but she was easily trained to go find one of the zillion cat scratchers we have scattered all over the house.
She does think she's allowed to jump up on the dining room table and steal food, but if you so much as glare at her, she runs for cover.
I'm not even going to mention the 23498657134 things she hasn't done so far because Karma will hunt me down and slap me silly if I go all jinxy jinx up in here.
Not only is the little striped beast good, she gets along with everybody in the house. She and Cody play for hours and hours and hours each and every day.
She and Meg are homies, albeit homies who are hard to photograph together.
And then there is Powder. I fully expected Powder to be all, "WTF is this thing? I should be the lone ruler of this house. TAKE IT BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM," when it came to Ali. But he's not. In fact, she somehow has managed to convince him to share his cat perch. Actually, it's not just his cat perch he's been sharing, he's been sharing His Spot. NO ONE touches his spot. NO ONE. Any time another cat has so much as glanced as his spot, he has hauled his fat butt up there and promptly whipped out every wrestling move he knows, which is quite the arsenal. I once saw Coal limp away from the tower after being on the losing end of a suplex and a piledriver.
And, yet, THERE SHE IS.
AND HE'S LETTING HER.
I swear that kitten shoots magical fairy dust out of her ass. It's the only explanation for how she has everyone liking her.
It's part of a trap, isn't it? I should just start sleeping with one eye open.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Reader Comments (19)
OMG those pictures are so darn cute! I especially love the one of Powder and Ali. So precious!
I had two very crazy cats before my girls were born. One had the personality of a dog - no joke. Unfortunately my oldest is allergic and so no more kitties for us. : ( Thankfully no dog allergies so we can at least have some fun!
Not sure she'd be able to win over crabby Mr Smokey...sure is cute though;)
So now that the one decent cat in the world has been discovered, I can tell my kids that we will never find one; that they must give up hope because there is surely not another. You're a real hero in my book.
She is such a cute kitty! My cat once jumped up on the table during a family dinner, grabbed a whole hot dog off my sister's plate and ran. The entire family chased after him. It was one of the most farcical moments of my life.
One of my coworkers went to the Bahamas to work for a year or so, so we stayed at her duplex and took care of her two cats. Apparently the one wasn't too happy about its new babysitters and decided to piss in our potted plants, on piles of clothes, and our couch, among other things. It was great. And the smell of cat urine is impossible to get out. Yuck!
The pic of Powder and Ali is precious!
You know what I took away from this article? Your impressive knowledge of wrestling terms! Awesome!
Actually, you are really fortunate. IMO, there's nothing more stressful than feline wars. I hope she stays sweet!
A glowing review like that is one sure way of testing how true her angelic nature really is. If it's a trap, karma will reveal it riiiiiight about....NOW. If you can make it 24 hours after posting this without any major mishaps, I'd say you're golden.
You know this post just makes me want a cat. And I can't have one. And now I'm all emo.
Sigh.
@Katie in MA--EXACTLY. I'm trying to fish out the evil now so I have time to cope with it.
that adorable kittens photos makes me want to press Hubby into getting a Siberian (I want a Savannah, really, but severe allergies push us towards other directions).
I have no cat experiance, really.
Just willd, crazy, rabid dingos like the hound. And adorable scruffy stick figure when we adopted her. Easily trained and affectionate. Within a few months though the evil started to show. Dogs aren't usually that smart so some of her evil had gone past us attributed to bad luck. But she was that smart. And just plain evil.
I have to admit I'm a little worried that things may change later but then I'm no cat expert except to say they scare the crap of me. I'm totally intimidated and they know it. I will say that I HOPE she stays such a good cat. Whole-heartedly. :)
Okay, first of all, your little kitten looks EXACTLY like our cat, which makes me want to ask... does she have the same little cornrows of hair on the top of her head that ours does? Also....http://www.catswhothrowupgrass.com/kill.php.... you were warned.
She is adorable. It is definitely hard to find a nice cat, but we found 2 of them, so there is hope for you. Socialization is the key, and it looks like Alexis has that covered :)
That shot of Powder and Ali is an award winner! I really, really hope, for your sake, that Ali continues to be loved by all.
She's a cute kitty for sure. And that shot of Ali & Powder is awesome. You are great at capturing wonderful moments of the critters in and around your house! (Like those bird pictures a week or so ago? Awesome!)
You actually make me consider adding a second kitty to our house...stop it now, you evil woman! Definitely before Abby gets the thought in her head! :-)
I'm glad you found such a great cat in Ali, though. I hope she is showing her true nature and isn't hiding anything vicious beneath that fur.
Foolish, trusting humans...when will they ever learn?
My goodness, those pics (and the story) were some of the cutest EVAH!
pleeeeze pleeeeeeze mail us the happy dust she farts. Scout is still all hissing and swatting and vulture staring at us (along with starting a few very unpleasant--but not pee related--bad habits,) and it's worse now that Chloe died. Violet is all up in yer face (I've woken up in the morning showing definite signs of cat fights that happened on my head while I drooled on my pillow.
pleeeze overnight the happy dust! (and the pic of your kitties together is the sweetest thing ever)
My sister had a cat that turned into the demon cat. She had to get rid of him when he started attacking her infant son (who's not a Jr. in highschool) But, when he was a kitten, I was watching him for some reason. He went into the room where I was keeping the wedding dress that I was making. Even though it was in the garment bag, he found the zipper and peed right on it, getting the dress. I still remember sitting there washing out the train through tears.
Yep, I feel your pain. I pretty much forgot about that (or blocked it out) until now.