Two Sides of One Disney Princess
I was cautiously teetering across that tightrope between headache and migraine. Sudden movements and bright lights and even the simple of act of blinking were like bolts of lightening striking misery all through my head. Meanwhile, Alexis, in her infinite joy, was bouncing and jumping and generally doing her very best impersonation of Tigger after swallowing a bottle of Happy Pills. As we sat together on the bench waiting for the bus to carry us back to the hotel for the night, I finally had to tell the bundle of energy to chill out. I explained why as best as I could through the fog of pain.
As the words began to sink in to her little head, her eyebrows scrunched together with concern. "Oh, momma," she said. She thought for a moment and then said, "Don't worry. I'm going to be a doctor when I'm bigger enough. I'll make you feel better," she said softly.
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"Quit. Running. NOW!" I told her for the 135,362,980,791st time that day.
I didn't hear her exact response. It was so full of sass and attitude and brattiness that the words were irrelevant. I knelt down and sternly told her, "Look at me. NOW."
Her eyes darted left and right and left and right, everywhere but where I was sitting.
"EYES. NOW," I told her. I was out of patience.
She finally locked eyes with me long enough for me to see that there was absolutely no fear in them.
She knew she was in trouble. She didn't care.
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Moving even a millimeter made my head feel like it was being attacked by millions of microcosmic pirates and their tiny swords. Otherwise, I would have melted into a puddle of motherly goo right then and there. The urge to melt only grew stronger when Alexis took her still-chubby little hands and began to gently stroke the back of my head.
Alexis continued her mothering, dumping more and more of her sweetness all over the parking lot. "Is that better?" she finally asked.
"A little bit," I told her. In reality, nothing had changed. The headache still raged on like a runaway freight train filled with angry fire ants. However, it's the thought that counts. She thought she was being helpful.
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I continued to lock eyes with the defiant little creature. She tried to look away, but I continued to snap at her to look at me.
"You can either choose to have a good day, or you can go sit on that bench and not move for the rest of the day," I told her between stare-downs. I meant it. I was willing to spend hours sitting on that bench in silence. It would have been better than spending any more time walking around Disney World with a mean-spirited little demon.
"Noooo!" she cried. The good thing about rarely bluffing is that Alexis isn't willing to risk testing to see if I am holding a pair of 2's while she has a full house.
"It makes me very sad and angry when you aren't nice," I told her.
She began sobbing, clearly crushed that she had disappointed me.
Her behavior improved a bit, but it remained a tedious game of challenging wills and skirting authority all day long.
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"Momma," she she said as she continued to gently stroke the back of my head, "I think you need a funnel cake." She reached into her backpack and grabbed the change she had been carrying around all day. "Here you go," she instructed. "Go buy a funnel cake. That'll make you feel better."
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Reader Comments (14)
I love when you do this. Personally I am not a parent, I am a proud Aunt however. I dont 100% know how hard it is to parent and discipline your own child in situations like this, but I have had my share of similar Aunt moments. It's nice to see someone who writes with love even when she writes about the not so amazing times.
Aww, I like the last one the best.
Also, I read somewhere that kids hear the last word that you say to them the best. So if you say "Don't run" they hear, "RUN!" Therefore, you should always tell them what you want them to do - "Walk!" and they should (ideally) listen better. I've noticed that my students slow down faster when I tell them to "walk" vs "don't run."
@Amber--I do usually try to make sure I tell her what TO DO instead of what NOT to do, but long days and a frazzled brain sometimes get in the way of that. It definitely makes a difference on the days when she is at least half paying attention.
Oh honey. They do this when they're teenagers, too. It's the only thing that keeps us from kicking them out too early.
I know its not supposed to be funny but the last part cracked me up big time. Funnel cake! lol!!
Kids are just evil. I was the same way. Now that I see the error of my ways I spend a lot of phone calls with my mom apologizing for my past behavior. Maybe when she's older, she'll do the same and you can at least feel validated.
That's so sweet that she wanted to buy you a funnel cake to make your head feel better!! That's the kind of kid I hope to have - one who knows that when I don't feel great I need something like fried dough to feel better!!
And that pretty much sums up parenting right there. The heart melting, loving, sweetness mixed with the tedious, exhausting struggle. Hopefully the former outweighs the latter. :)
So, in the end, she wanted to buy you funnel cake? Take that as a win.
I LOVE when you do these posts. Flea is right, by the way. My almost 13-year-old son is still sweet, between hormonal fits and growth spurts. (he's just grown taller than me - ack!)
Disney is exhausting - but there's nothing like it, especially when you're with a little person Alexis' age. Don't you wish you could bottle that sense of wonder?
It's amazing how wonderfully sweet and rotten they can be all at the same time. I get so upset with my 3 year old when she's blantanly defiant and if I yell at her she crys then I feel so bad cause she feels so bad. Then she is so darn sweet and gives me kisses and hugs and says I'm so sorry Mamma! Oh do they know how to work it and work it good!
Mmmmm.... funnel cake. I think she may be onto something there... ;)
we all have two sides to us...my tired and hungry side ain't pretty either. i'm almost 40. what is my excuse!
you have a good girl there. love that she'll be a doctor who believes in alternative medicine.
See? You are doing such a good job. The stare downs are totally worth it. (And how much does it warm your heart that your child really knows you? Ha!)
This post made me cry. Maybe I'm emotional because of the lack of sleep, but really, it pulled me back in time with my own daughter, and the memories of her at that age. So full of compassion, empathy and love one moment, and feisty boundary pushing the next moment.
They grow so incredibly fast. Every age has such huge developmental significance, all in the preparation of growing our daughters up to be well balanced.
She is exactly where she is supposed to be... building her tools and learning how to use them.