Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle YEAH!
"Look, momma! I can turn my tooth all the way backwards!" Alexis cried out from the back seat, enthusiasm dripping from her every syllable.
Three things:
1. I told you there was nothing holding that tooth in place.
2. Thank ye gods of puke prevention that the kid was strapped securely into a car seat and couldn't shove that disgusting stub of a flappy tooth in my face.
3. My military father would be impressed with the number of swear words that flew through my mind. More impressive, however, is the fact that none of them passed through my lips. I DESERVE A COOKIE, PEOPLE.
"Just...leave your tooth alone, Alexis," I stammered.
That tooth was held in place by nothing more than will power. Alexis had discovered that it gave her magical super powers and she was in no hurry to relinquish them. More than once she had cried out, "Look, momma!" and then violently wiggled that horror show of a tooth in my face, falling over laughing in anticipation of my response.
My response was always the same. "Revolted" is probably the best word for it. My convulsions and disgust always served to make Alexis laugh harder.
The child enjoys my misery.
If I were smart, I would have turned around in the car and yanked that backwards tooth out of her face. The very thought of doing it was enough to make me gag, though. There was no way that I could even get close to the flappy thing.
And so it wasn't until the next morning that the flappy tooth was finally set free.
I was jolted to consciousness at Way Too Early o'Clock when Alexis burst through our bedroom door squealing with delight. "Looooook! My tooth fell out! Looooooook!" she continued to chirp as she shoved that disgusting lump of grossness in my face. Blood dripped from her mouth . . . OK, not really. But I imagined that blood dripped from her mouth. Did I mention that it was Way Too Early o'Clock?
"I DON'T NEED TO SEE IT!" I cried out as I tried to escape the horror show. "Just . . . go . . . do something. Go watch The Disney Channel or something," I practically begged.
The always chipper six-year old grinned from ear-to-ear as she turned on her heel and headed downstairs.
She returned a few minutes later with a tiny little food container cradled carefully in her hands. "Look, momma! I got my tooth ready for the Tooth Fairy!"
Even *I* can admit that is sort of cute. You know, if you ignore the creeptastic little tooth sitting next to the note.
And if you ingore the gaping hole in her smile.
How many more times do I have to survive this?
Wait.
Don't answer that.
I'm just going to pretend it's a one-time thing.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Reader Comments (12)
awww. she's growing up now, mama!
Barf. I mean - oh so cute. (Not really. I mean barf.)
A) Best post title ever.
B) GAG
C) Yes, very cute.
D) BB lost six relatively close to one another in time frame (GAAAAAG!) and all has been quiet on the wiggle front for awhile. Here's hoping I'm far away for the next one!
It's the loose tooth part that makes me gag. Once they fall out, I'm ok.
I hope the touf fairy was nice to Alexis!
i lost a tooth yesterday, too! a peanut in pad thai did me wrong and i cracked a tooth in half. thought about putting it under my pillow in case dwayne johnson wanted to sneak into my room, but instead i just gave it to the dentist.
oh how i wish lex would have let me pull it out last thursday. i would have loved to have watched your face. then i could have blamed yesterday's tooth crack on karma.
How timely is that song for you title?!? LOVE IT! :D
Also, yuck, I hate the sight as well.
Get your money ready, cause yep, this is the first of MANY.
Alexis has really nice spacing for her big teeth, Juliana has no space for her big teeth - braces are almost a certainty in the not so distant future. Her first tooth had to be pulled because the big tooth came in behind it. The 2nd was drama, drama, drama. Tooth 3 was a bloody mess. Tooth 4 I pulled out myself.
So based on my experience you have a few more rough ones and then it gets easier. I have a lot more loose baby teeth to survive in this house.
So, how well do you get along with her teacher? Cause there's a chance she could help you out with the next one (and yes, there WILL be a next one). My Youngest Boy lost two teeth, two days in a row, AT SCHOOL! Of course, I don't have the same aversion to loose teeth as you do...
How cute that she put it in a container, with a note :)
the first one is alway so cute to loose!
And then I died from cuteness of that note. You do not want to meet Miss Bee any time soon. I think the only reason she brushes her teeth so thoroughly each night is so that I can test the wiggleability of each touf. Each one. Every night.
You're welcome.
I am a teacher and I can handle boogers and barf easier than the student who insists on showing me the loose tooth hanging on by a thread. Of course, I never let them see me cringe or all power will be lost!