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Tuesday
Jun082021

Quite Definitely Pointless

Caution: Pointless rant ahead. Look away if that sort of thing annoys you. Just clicky clicky the little X in the corner.

Soooooo ... there is this mom. I've known of her for years and years. My first encounter was actually a SUPER weird one because she used her superior internet sleuthing skills (totally serious there, she's a pro at internetting her way into knowing things) to crash a Burgh Mom event. For those who have forgotten all about that era, early in the parenting blogger days, brands were constantly looking for ways to interact with parenting bloggers. I was sort of the center of one of those wheels, at least in Pittsburgh, and sometimes I organized groups of bloggers to go do things. In this particular instance, we went to IKEA for a party. There was free food and drinks and generally it was a great event that allowed us to learn a lot about IKEA.

But that one mom. She was there because she faked being a mom blogger. Like, she said she was so she could go, but she wasn't actually a blogger and it turned out all sorts of awkward. It got even more awkward when it turned out that her next-door neighbor was a good friend of mine and ... woof. It's probably for the best that the details of that whole thing have never been put into written words.

ANYWAY. Fast forward a year or so and that one mom started showing up in my life at the most random of times. The most memorable of those random times was at kid sporting events. As in, I would go to a little kid football game to watch Alexis cheer, and there that woman would be there. ALWAYS. It was impossible not to notice her because she is THAT person who stands at a little kid football game right next to the sign at the front of the bleachers. You know the sign - the one that says "No standing here." Always. She absolutely always stands right there, fully engaged in a conversation with another mom of her type.

I can say with certainty that it's ALWAYS because at one point I stopped deleting my 80000 photos that had her backside in them. I have photo after photo that's supposed to be of Alexis but that is actually of that woman's ass because not only does she stand next to that sign, she moves while she's doing it. No matter how hard I try to see (and take photos of) my kid, THERE SHE IS.

Wanna hear how it gets even more odd? She doesn't have a kid Alexis' age. Her oldest is younger than Alexis and in activities the age group below her. So, like, she was at her kid's event and then stayed for the next one for whatever reason. And blocked everyone's view. When her kid wasn't on the field.

This is a thing that is incomprehensible to me as I am not comfortable at kid sporting events. I am there solely to watch my kid and then to run away as fast as possible. The notion of staying an hour or two longer completely blows my mind. I'm sure there are people who understand completely and also do it. I am simply not one of them.

Sooooo ... this has been going on for years. YEARS. It has to be at least 10 years that this particular woman has managed to block my view of my kid at the most amazing of times. Then came the pandemic and I completely lost sight of her, in no small part because after seeing countless photos of her and her family NOT quarantining and hosting parties and generally trying their best to kill a whole bunch of people by doing the opposite of social distancing, I blocked her EVERYWHERE. Every social media everything.

For the record, that includes my neighborhood Facebook page. Is she one of my neighbors? NOPE! She lives miles away in a totally different development. She's a member of at least three private neighborhood groups, though. Like I said, super good at internet sleuthing. She'll even join a Facebook group that isn't applicable to her life in any way, shape, or form for the sake of knowing what's going on in the world.

So things went quiet from where I was sitting during the pandemic. She vanished, I stopped being stupidly annoyed by her, and so on. And I do mean STUPIDLY. I have known for YEARS that she is who she is and there is absolutely no reason for me to pay any attention to her, but yet I sit there and get legit angry that she's so ... her. I think the right word for it is "inconsiderate" but I'm not really sure because I think it's more that she's oblivious. I seriously doubt she realizes that countless other parents can't see their own kids because THERE SHE IS. ALWAYS. Except during a pandemic.

And then came this weekend's cheer competition. I was slapped in the face with an instant reminder that she exists.

There were pretty strict rules about observers at the competition. Each cheerleader was allowed two spectators. Chairs were placed in pairs with social distancing between the sets of chairs. The multi-page COVID guidelines even mentioned that we were to only watch our own athletes perform.

GUESS WHAT MY FAVORITE PERSON DID!

She totally took a front seat at Alexis' performance, a performance at which she did not have a child. She was 100% in the room only because she wanted to be nebby. And! And! SHE PUSHED MILA OUT OF HER WAY TO TAKE THAT FRONT ROW CHAIR.

Seriously.

I'm assuming she didn't see the tiny comet who went darting for the seat because she was super excited to watch her big sister, but the lady totally body-checked Mila and took those seats. And that is why we ended up in the second row and couldn't see half of the cheer performance and whatever.

I need to get a life and quit being annoyed by that woman.

And I need to go back to not peopling. It was better for my sanity.

<\end pointless rant>

Monday
Jun072021

Nailed It

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this whole "returning to normal" thing we've got going on, but I spent my Saturday at a cheer competition. So. It turns out I don't like cheer competitions more now than I did before a global pandemic. Guess you never know until you try!

ANYWAY.

Both girls have stumbled their way through this crazy year participating in competitive cheer. There have been weeks of practice via Zoom, lots of hand sanitizer and masks, and an overall cloud of caution hovering over every aspect of the adventure. And yet, they persevered.

One of the rules of the year that was intended to help keep everyone safe was that no parents were allowed inside the practice facility ever. Which, HUZZAH! Let's keep that rule! While I missed taking a peak here and there to see how the girls were doing, it was genuinely nice having clarity around what I should do during those practices. And what I should do is not stay there, but rather go run errands or really anything that wasn't standing around surrounded by other cheer parents.

Much productivity was had.

But, really, I had noooo idea how things were going.

For what it's worth, expectations are super high whenever Alexis is involved. She's that kid who is good at all of the things and I expect her to be good at all of the things because she can handle those types of expectations. So I knew she would nail her part of the performance and ... she did. She was flawless and amazing and all of those things. (Is that a mom brag? Yes, it is. DEAL WITH IT.)

But, Mila. Mila goes through life setting expectations as low as possible. Every week she replied to, "What did you learn in practice?" with "I don't know. I talked to my friends." And I believe her. I fully believe the child spent as much time as possible visiting with everyone and chatting and not paying any attention. She is a social butterfly and her whole reason for participating in any sort of activity is to spend time with lots of people.

She really likes ALL of the people.

AND YET. That child! That tiny little comet was flawless and amazing and all of those things! (Another mom brag? YES. Why have a mom blog if you don't brag about your kids from time-to-time?) She truly is pocket-sized, so she's a flyer. I watched as that kid managed straight extensions and strong form and generally did really well on every single one of the stunts. Which, if she didn't spend so much time lowering expectations, that's exactly what I would expect. Her big sister has been making her be a flyer in stunts since the moment she was big enough to stand.

Still, I'm pretty proud of both of them. Or, at least I was until it came time for awards. It was during the traditional waiting for awards dance party that I learned something very critical to my opinions regarding both of those girls. It turns out that at some point in time, Alexis taught Mila the dance to Cotton-Eyed Joe. And now I'm disappointed in both of them because THAT is a dance that was better off left at weddings.

Sunday
Jun062021

Fruity Pebbles Crusted French Toast

Fruity Pebbles Crusted French Toast

That sounds like a good idea, right?

IMG_9250

IT IS TOTALLY A GOOD IDEA. It's just regular friend toast, but dipped in Fruity Pebbles. The same concept works with crushed Cinnamon Toast Crunch and crushed Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch and I'm sure a bunch of other things, but that's the ones I've tried so far.

Fruity Pebbles wins, but really only because it's soooo pretty. I mean, COME ON. Who doesn't like a rainbow for breakfast?

IMG_9240

Fruity Pebbles Crusted French Toast

(Makes 3 pieces)

2 eggs
1 tablespoon heavy cream
1 tablespoon butter
1/2 cup Fruity Pebbles
3 slices Brioche or Italian bread - the thicker sliced, the better

1. Add the butter to a large skillet and heat over medium heat.

2. Whisk together the eggs and heavy cream in a small bowl. Put the Fruity Pebbles in another bowl or spread them across a plate.

3. Soak both sides of the bread in the eggs then "bread" both sides of them with the Fruity Pebbles.

4. Heat over medium heat until lightly browned, then flip and get the other side.

5. Say hello to your new best friend.