The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Big-Mouthed Tree
"Somebody is in trouble," I thought to myself as I walked in the room. I had missed the first fifteen minutes of dance class while I wandered around on a quest to find my cell phone. I returned just in time to hear the teacher scolding one of the girls.
I walked up to the window so I could watch the remainder of the class. They are getting close to recital time, so it's fun to watch as the last of the pieces of their routine fall into place.
I wasn't concerned with who was in trouble. There is one girl in particular who is a bit more free-spirited than the others. She rarely makes it through a class with something distracting her a little too much. I assumed she was the somebody. But, as I looked through the glass, I spotted Alexis standing face-to-face with another little girl. Her arms were crossed and her chin was down--her "I'm in trouble but it won't count if I don't look at you" posture. It wasn't somebody who was in trouble. It was my somebody.
As the teacher talked to Alexis about what she had done, the edges of reality began to shift. It was as if I was watching myself get scolded, although I never took a single dance class, nor wanted to. It wasn't the setting that was so familiar, it was Alexis' reaction to the scolding. The posture, the stance, the stiff lip, it was all so very familiar.
The teacher turned to Alexis and stared until Alexis' eyes began to drift upward. "Do you understand, Alexis?" the teacher asked.
"Use your filter. Use your filter. Use your filter," I thought, over and over again. I was born completely lacking that filter that most people have between their mouths and the part of the brain that reacts to situations. I just blurt the first words that come to me, often without taking even a split second to consider the consequences.
Alexis may not look anything like me, but HOOBOY did she get that filter-free attitude. It's hard to explain how it's different than any other 5-year old when Alexis says something inappropriate. I just know it is because I recognize it. I do it. I am it.
"This is stupid," Alexis replied. So much for using that filter.
The Mini Me continued to dig her way into a deep hole, all the while looking and sounding EXACTLY like I did when I was that age.
It took me about 30 years to learn to control my mouth. I can only hope Alexis figures it out much faster.
And don't even get me started on the eyerolling. ::sigh::
Monday, April 18, 2011
Reader Comments (13)
Yeah. I have a smart-mouthed troublemaker mini-me too. Sigh. I have a feeling there are more than few visits to the principal's office for that one. Payback, I guess. Good luck!
great post. Kids just make me laugh sometimes, especially my own.
I feel your pain. I have a a clone too and she is now 17. It is crazy how fast they grow up. As far as the eyerolling goes, it is hereditary and I am pretty sure it is involuntary. I call it optosarcasmimosis & I still get in trouble for it sometimes. LOL
It is so hard to listen to your kid be yelled at by someone (other than yourself!). My poor dad used to drive around for an hour, or go sit in a parking lot, just to avoid hearing my piano teacher yell at me (which she did A LOT in the beginning). One day I overheard Dylan's preschool teacher yelling at him as I was coming to pick him up. When I asked him about his day, though - nothing. Made me wonder what else goes on I don't know about.
this cracked me up.
but i have to know...what did she do that was wrong (was the scolding actually stupid)?
@hellohahanarf--She completely deserved the scolding...and the one I gave her after class...and the one she got last night when she tried to get her Barbie back...
At least you have the perspective to know where Alexis is coming from! NO ONE can make my Bear apologize or admit he's done wrong if he doesn't agree, or is just being stubborn about it. I would have said "sorry" just to end the situation, so I can't relate to his stance. It's only now, as an adult that I would hold my ground. This is a long way of saying I think a "filter" is overrated.
Let's face it - it probably WAS stupid!
bwhahahahahahahaha! If you ever do find the formula for teaching that sooner, please share! The Howler, at 9, has all the attitude I had at 17-25-33 er ah, still fight to control at 43. The eye roll, the stance, the whole she-bang...trying to channel it to better uses v. laughing out loud and yelling "yeah! that's what I'M talkin' about" is a very hard line to walk.
I seriously love hearing about Alexis! This story was so cute. :)
My three year old got his very first time out last week, or the week before. He goes to playgroup once a week, and he told the teacher to shut-up. My mom called me, laughing, when she picked him up, and told me, while I was at work. My first reaction? "Aww! That's so cute!" LOL. Yeah, I swear all the time and it's so bad. And his big brother still has never had a time out. My little dude, he's TROUBLE!
hahahahahahahaha
Just a few days back I was told by a friend "A mind-to-mouth filter is what you need for your next birthday!"
Teach me! I am 32 years into trying to master that art. I think by this point it's a lost cause. Sigh.