The Job/Chore/Task/Just Do It Already Chart
A couple of people asked for more information about the Magical, Mystical, Makes-the-Kid-More-Useful Chore Chart that we're using. If that's not your sort of thing, just blip-blip-blip your way out of here for today. Might I suggest an old post for your reading pleasure? Here. (Psst...the link at the end of that post still works. :-D )
The rest of you? Behold! This week's Chore Chart! (We're currently calling it "Alexis' Jobs" for now.)
I told you it wasn't anything fancy. Well, OK, the turkey is a little bit fancy, but that was Alexis' doing. I start out with a plain piece of construction paper, a pen, and some markers. In theory, I would print out something a wee bit fancier, but the whole project is still in flux, so it's just as easy to grab a pen and paper as it is to bust out the laptop and printer.
So, our goal for now is for the kid to learn to take a little initiative and for her to have a positive attitude towards helping around the house. As time goes by, I plan on adjusting that goal as needed and changing the tasks to keep things age appropriate. Frankly, she's kind of useless right now. Five-year olds just aren't quite ready to be scrubbing toilets and dusting ceiling light fixtures. Most of the tasks she can do require a bit of rework by an adult, but we're OK with that. We just want her to learn that she has to help around the house and that she needs to do it without making me coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.
There's a theory floating around the interwebs that you shouldn't pay kids for chores because they're a part of life. I actually tend to agree with the theory. I mean, I don't get paid to take out the trash, so why should she? That is another reason that the tasks will evolve over time. At some point, she won't be able to get compensated for doing things that she should be doing no matter what. Hopefully.
However, right now Little Miss needs positive reinforcement to stay interested in stuff. She is most definitely one of those kids who needs some sort of confirmation that she's doing something right if we want to keep her interested in it. That's why there are some "Gimme" things on her task list. I really need to make sure she is guaranteed a few stickers each week so that she'll stick with it. We also don't take stickers away because Little Miss sucks at handling negative reinforcement. In this case, I suspect that she would give up on the whole thing altogether because she gets super frustrated when we try any sort of negative reinforcement. She has us trained, n'at.
So, every Friday night, Alexis and I sit down and look at the previous week's chart. She counts her stickers, we work together to figure out how much money I owe her (we pay 20 cents per sticker right now--the goal is for her to end at around $5.00 each week), and then we start a new chart for the next week. (We started out trying a monthly chart, but it was too long of a period of time between "rewards." Alexis was losing interest.)
The process for creating a new chart goes a little like this:
1. I write down a few "guaranteed" pay outs. Like I said, she needs a little positive reinforcement built into the system or she'll give up. This week those guaranteed tasks are:
- doing her homework
- emptying the dishwasher (She puts away clean silverware, pots, pans, and baking dishes. She'll get more to do as soon as she's tall enough to put them away safely.)
- clean up toys in family room (Yes, that is a guaranteed one. I have her trained to clean them up because for years I have told her that I can throw away any toys I find left out after she goes to bed. I only ever once actually threw something away, but it has stuck with her. The only problem is that I still usually have to ask her to clean stuff up. That initiative thing sure would be nice...)
Guaranteed pay outs are worth one sticker when she does them.
2. I write down a few chores that she can help with but that she doesn't *have* to do. This week those are:
- Put away clean clothes (worth 2 stickers)
- clean playroom (worth 10 stickers because she'll never do it unless I really force her to do it)
- dust family room furniture (worth 1 sticker)
- wash kitchen/family room windows (worth 1 sticker)
I assign a sticker value to those things based on the enormity of the task and the likelihood that Alexis will whine and cry if I make her do them. I try to make sure a few things that she considers "fun" are in the list. This week's fun is the dusting and windows.
I KNOW. She's a freak. I like that I can monopolize on that a bit.
3. I ask Alexis for some tasks that she thinks should be on the list. This week she picked:
- Help with Christmas decorations (worth 1 sticker)
- Clean kitchen table (worth 1 sticker)
- Put away groceries (worth 1 sticker)
- Get dressed without help (worth 2 stickers)
- Dirty clothes in hamper (worth 1 sticker)
- Practice reading (worth 1 sticker)
A couple of those are guarantees. She's pretty good about putting her dirty clothes in the hamper and she is absolutely good about reading every day. I'm OK with her building a few guarantees into the chart because she most definitely also listed some things that she SUUUUUUCKS at doing.
The "getting dressed without help" thing? OMG. THAT. She has been a giant pain in the butt in the morning recently. She has no interest in getting out of bed and moving and she must know it's making me lose my mind. Apparently she wants to work on it? FINE BY ME. I even made it worth two stickers because I really would love to see her earn a bunch of stickers that way. Initiative! I like it!
I assign sticker values to the "Alexis' Choice" tasks based on the level of suck. I also reserve the right to change the values each week.
4. And then the Universal Rewards That Get Us To Our Mission: I add a couple of lines about how doing a task without being asked is worth a bonus two stickers and how doing a task without complaining is worth another two bonus stickers. THAT is where the money is really at for her, and that's exactly where we want it. Initiative. Positive attitude. I want them.
5. We also randomly award stickers if she does something above and beyond during the week. For example, today she walked around the entire house collecting dog toys and then took them down to the basement and put them in the basket where they belong. I didn't ask her to do it, but I certainly appreciated it, so I rewarded her appropriately.
Throughout the week, we tell her to give herself a sticker when she completes a task. As she's sticking on the first sticker, we ask her if she did it without being asked. Then we ask if she did it without complaining. She's shockingly good at being honest about those two points, so I *think* she gets it. She always seems a little extra proud as she sticks on those bonus stickers for initiative and attitude.
Eventually that lands us back to Friday when we count stickers, pay, and start all over again. Lather, rinse, repeat.
And this is where I would loooove your ideas for other chores that a 5-year old can reasonably do. So far we've been focused on having her take care of her own stuff, but I'm always trying to think of ways she can help the greater good. And by "greater good" I mean ME. ME. ME. It's all about me.
I need a kid that doesn't whine when she helps. There is no "greater good" than that.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Reader Comments (19)
Hrm, how about setting the table, sorting laundry (darks/lights is probably what she could do but if you buy a lot of permanent press, what else is there really?), feeding (or watering if the feeding is to hard) the pets, making her bed?
Just some thoughts.
Folding towels from the dryer....distributing laundry from the laundry room to the places it belongs.....mom had me ironing dad's handkerchiefs, but doubt many men carry those anymore. It was a good way (very supervised) to introduce me to ironing.....way to go on positive reinforcement!
Boy child, from the time he was 5 until about...oh, now (about to be 9)
expected: make bed, ready self for school (brush, dress, pack, clean up from breakfast), homework (whine all ya want, I'll go in another room), put away laundered clothes (except school clothes, until he learns not to wrinkle), clean up from meals, wipe up bathroom vanity, pick up room, read self for bed.
paid: fold and put away "family" laundry (towels, kitchen items, etc.), take out trash, take out recycles, empty dishwasher (step stool for high ups), dust whatever he can reach, rake leaves, shovel snow, washing car helper
I figure it like he should be "taking care of himself" as much as possible but I'll pay him for jobs even I think of as a "chore", like I don't want to do them.
This weekend we added a lesson on loading the dishwasher and laundry. But I'm not paying until he can do it without a million questions and without me hovering.
And being that he's a boychild there never was a sticker chart, I just had to keep a lot of small change and bills on hand and pay up when something is done.
And forget how much he doesn't like negative reinforcement - leaving a light on costs him $1, leaving clothes or socks laying anywhere costs him $1, etc.
I'm a mean mommy.
Sarah gets nightly stickers since she's got some developmental issues. But she gets them for:
feeding cats
folding wash clothes (she's too little for towels yet)
doing her homework WITHOUT whining (again a developmental issue)
generally being a good child and doing anything I ask :)
I hope you remind me of all of this in two years when Jack is 5. Right now he does an ok job at putting toys away and he takes his dishes to the sink after meal. He is also in charge of feeding Jelly, although he needs to be reminded and either gives him too much food or not enough. It's a process though.
As for chores, can she help run the vacuum cleaner? Maybe set the table and clear the table?
@calliope/tehamy--She has been setting the table for dinner for as long as she's been able to walk more than ten steps without falling on her face. That's one that I might have rewarded a few years ago, but now it's just a thing that she does while I make dinner.
@jdp--Can I take stickers away from my husband? He's the one who leaves lights on all the time. I maybe sort of cackle with glee when Alexis yells at him for it, too. (She's really good about it.) Heh.
You could perhaps try out having her make her own lunch. You could start out on just the weekends, and be sure that PB and J fixings and fruit or milk are within her reach. This way she can practice softball meal prep, and you can slowly increase it until she's cooking YOU dinner every night!
Help take out the trash and recycling on garbage day/bring the cans in after.
feed the pets
make her poop scoop the lawn
I would say help with yard work. Raking leaves etc. I have plenty of leaves in my yard, I would be happy to pay her if she wants to come on over. ;)
We're so bad at sticking to job charts but mostly b/c Caileigh pretty much loves to help so when I ask she does it. Probably doing it without asking is something we need to work on. And the room cleaning is a big one. Now the middle child - forget it, girl has no interest in potty training at 22.5 mos, she's going to need all kinds of reinforcements to do chores.
Positive reinforcement works best. I know I always prefer to be praised then told what I did wrong all of the time. Kids are going to force you to do one or the other. If you are always coming down on them and that is the only way they get attention then that is what the will keep doing. But, if you point out all of the good things then a light goes off and they will want to do good things. It just feels better to be praised then fussed at.
You are an awesome parent!
Making her bed is probably doable, as is vacuuming/sweeping hard surfaces (carpet is harder with the beater bar n'at). It's funny that you posted this today as I'm in the middle of working up our very own chore charts (x4). Our current system? NOT WORKING!
And, Miss Disney, do you know what movie I'm now quoting in my head (and, right here, in words)? "Greater Good? Greater Good? I am your WIFE!! I am the GREATEST GOOD you ar EVAH gonna get!!" I KNOW you know this...
have you looked at this? It was all over Pinterest at one point: http://parentingsquad.com/45-chores-young-children-can-do
@The Mommy--I had to look it up. *hangs head in shame*
My daughter who's seven helps mop, wash and dry dishes, help generally tidy, dust.
THIS IS AWESOME. Thank you :)
@Michelle - does he get stickers to take away? Maybe keep a sticker chart full of black stickers, when he fills up a whole row for leaving lights on YOU get a prize :)
We mainly focus on my 5 yr old son taking care of his things as well. I fight battles with my teenager to even do that, so I started young with Zach. Young....like out of the womb. Lol He also helps with folding laundry such as wash cloths, socks, his pants, etc. He dusts occasionally, helps me strip beds, and changes "garbage". He's in charge of the little waste baskets, changing bags as needed & replacing them.
We use marbles to reward him, filling a jar and getting rewards as he hits certain marks. 1st line is .50, then $1 and so on until his jar is full, which earns him a $3 or something special such as 30 extra minutes of tv time.